Rucker Blog

Rucker Blog is now: Can I Please Just Say

2008-04-14T12:57:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure if anyone still reads me here at the good old 'Rucker Blog' but if you do, thanks!

I'm now updating and posting at my newer blog: CanIPleaseJustSay.blogspot.com

Please join me there!

Same great, hilarious (in my opinion) blogs you know and love, new page.

-Adam

Disney World

2007-08-17T14:31:00.000-05:00

SO as some of you may know, I recently had the opportunity of a lifetime to work at the Happiest Place on Earth, Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida... Some may argue that the "Happiest Place" may actually be at DisneyLAND in California, but I beg to differ..

But people are now always asking me for tips and suggestions on where to go and what to do during their stays at the resort. Or maybe I just like to offer my suggestions to anyone with ears, but never the less, I have them.

First of all, I don't like to talk BAD about any of the attractions there because people have all different kinds of taste and I wouldn't want you to miss out on something you'd love because I didn't like it. So anyway, here are my absolute favorite, YOU HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS, things.

1. Above all else, if you only do/see one thing at any park, it must be Disney-MGM Studios' (soon to be Disney's Hollywood Studios) Nightime Spectacular, Fantasmic.

During my three months at the resort, I must have seen this show at least a dozen times and it never gets old. Part water, part movie, part live action, it literally has everything and has every Disney character you could think of. It is quite a sight to see and anyone I ever took to it left with it being their favorite thing.

Sadly, I never got to be part of Fantasmic, but I pretended I was, so as to look cool among my collegues.

2. Mickey's Philharmagic- Magic Kingdom..

This is a 3D show that I also saw a dozen times or more when I was there. It's state of the art 3D and includes all of your favorite songs from the classic Disney animated musicals. You're fully surrounded by the screen and there are many special effect surprises along the way. And if anything, it's a great 20 minute air conditioned sitting break after spending the day in the park.

3. Wishes- Magic Kingdom's nighttime fireworks show. It doesn't really need explanation.. you just have to go.

Those are only a few of my favorite things to do there and I will surely be back with more...

Oh and one more tip before I go: DO NOT underestimate the amazingness that is Disney's Animal Kingdom.. You definitely have to go there and definitely have to allow at least a full half-day for this park. Usually the park will close earlier than the rest because of the animals, so you will still have time to catch the other parks' nightime shows in the same day..

AND for any of the latest Disney news parks, film, television, or basically anything Disney, you can always go to www.thedisneyblog.com

It's pretty awesome.

The Beginning of the End of Facebook

2007-07-31T16:22:00.000-05:00

Let me first preface this by saying: I've been a long supporter/dependent of Facebook. Ever since the second I got my college e-mail address I haven't been separated from it for more than 4 days and I usually check it more than 5 times a day.

With that being said, I'm gonna go ahead and put it out there that I think Facebook has seen its glory days and may become the new MySpace.

Harsh. I know. But hear me out.

A couple of years ago when Facebook started to allow high schoolers into what was once an exclusive college kids club, I just tried to pretend it wasn't happening. And that worked, for a little bit until I finally just accepted it because at the time, most of my friends were still in high school anyway.

Then a year or so after that when Facebook introduced the "News Feed" (all broken up couples' worst nightmare) I looked the other way, allowing it to happen because it was out of my control. But now, with the introduction of all these crappy third party "applications" it's hard for me to take Facebook seriously at all. Do we really NEED to be able to cast Harry Potter spells at each other via Facebook? Do you really care to see my mood visually portrayed by a giant smiley face? The answer to most of the questions these applications pose us is "no."

Facebook used to be the calm, almost somewhat professional-looking place you could go to after being on MySpace and not feel dirty. But now, I can't click on a profile without seeing 200 of their movie reviews, every song they've listened to in the past month, and a giant fortune cookie predicting the "future."

I mean, I guess I'll just have to go with the "Whatever Floats Your Boat" theory on this one..

But for now, I'm happy, and proud to be Facebook Application Free!

Resurrection of El Blog

2007-07-31T15:55:00.000-05:00

Well well well, after nearly a year, the Rucker Blog is back.

It has indeed been quite some time and I've got to say, I've missed the blog.

Causes for the long leave of absence?

Exhaustion

Overworking

Gone on Movie Shoots

Attending Red Carpet Events

Running a Day Care

Building a House

and most importantly: going to Disney World.

Only one of those is true. But they would all be very good reasons for neglecting a blog. Though I haven't been writing here as much, I have been keeping up with my daily briefings.. even if they aren't so "daily." But keep coming back here. I'll be updating more frequently and I promise not to let you down.

2006-06-23T22:31:00.000-05:00

Road Rules

My newest Daily Briefing and also Season One Finale, Road Rules. My good friend Whitney and I go on a grand adventure and interview one of our friend's mom. It's random.

You Are Not Excused

2006-06-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

First of all, what the heck is up with that picture of me -->>>
I'm glad we had to use a sonogram machine to take that because I look like I'm 4 years old. Sadly I don't know how to update that soo oh well. Anyway, to the topic:

There are many things in life that tend to annoy, distract, or bother me. However being the kind and understanding person that I am, I usually ignore or excuse these things and accept them as they are because really sometimes you just have to deal. But I have come to the conclusion on a select group of things that they are simply unexusable (or is it inexcusable(or are those even real words?))

Anyway, here is a list of some of those things:

People who whisper in movies (and by whisper I mean talk louder than they normally talk because they apparently don't realize they're in a movie)
Fake smiles in pictures. REALLY people, anyone who's anyone can tell a real smile from a fake. Think it's rude to not smile because you really don't like the person you're taking the picture with? Then don't take the picture in the first place. Me? If I just happen to be breaking out in a fit of laughter when you take a picture, you're in luck.
Insufficient food stock at buffets. This may sound too extreme but seriously, if I go to Luby's I want mac' and cheese. And if I go to Pancho's I want cheese enchiladas. It's that simple.
People most like me. It may sound weird but some (not all) of the people you tend not to like are those most similar to yourself. So if I don't like you I guess take that as a compliment...?

Hmm... That's all I can think of at the moment. This will be continued...

I'm Horrible/GO SEE CARS!

2006-06-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

OK- I'm, gonna say it, I am THE worst blogger EVER.

Seriously, I never update, even when I'm like "CHECK EVERY DAY I'M GOING TO UPDATE CONSTANTLY!" But then I decide that checking OTHER blogs interests me more than writing in my own. Seriously though, if you haven't noticed there are fifty baJILLION blogs dedicated to nothing more than the latest picture of Paris Hilton getting a drink at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. It's getting out of hand. I'm not saying that I haven't read these blogs or anything but seriously, how sad is it that we somehow find watching other people buy graduation cards or squirting water at people entertaining.

Something you will never find in one of my blogs is an important life lesson either. I'm not here to teach you anything (unless it is said in a sarcastic and witty manner). No no, I'm here only to mildly amuse you, if even that. In fact, I'm almost positive that no one even reads this blog besides myself and probably my immediate family.

Before I leave you for the night, I would like to say GO SEE CARS! It's apparently a "thing" to call perfectly great movies "awful" lately. I think the critics are just bitter that they weren't good enough to succeed in their choice entertainment fields that now all they do is criticize good movies in hopes that they will do bad at the box office. Isn't there a saying "Those who can't do, teach"? The follow up to that is "Those who can't teach, become critics." Or something like that. Anyway, the moral of the story is Disney and Pixar's Cars is REALLY good. Soundtrack=amazing as well. Musicians featured in the movie include Sheryl Crow, Rascal Flatts, James Taylor, Brad Paisley, and the one and only John Mayer. But DON'T try and buy the soundtrack at Wal-Mart because they WON'T sell it to you for the $9.78 price that's posted, they'll instead charge you $18 for it. Not joking. Go to Super Target. Super Target never lets me down.

Vocal talent in the movie: Owen Wilson, Bonnie Hunt, Paul Newman, and John Ratzenberger (AGAIN). But Larry the Cable Guy's bucktoothed "Mater" steals the show as the rusty old tow truck. Also Guido, the little tire kid is really funny too. It's just really really good. NOT better than Nemo, but better than Incredibles in my book. Not that Incredibles was very high in my book anyway. Personally, I didn't like it that much, but I still know it was a great movie cuz the world loved it. But anyway, Cars is really an awesome movie that most everyone should be able to appreciate.

Also currently getting torched by critics right now is The BreakUp with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn which is ALSO really good. I liked it cuz it didn't follow the same track of every single chick flick. So ya, that's my bit.

Rucker Classic: High School Paper

2006-05-30T12:09:00.000-05:00

Today’s blog entry is a Rucker Classic. What you are about to read is a paper that I wrote in the 11^th grade and I’m still trying to figure out why. I’m assuming the prompt was something like “Write whatever you want and don't worry with correct grammar or punctuation.” Nevertheless, it’s pretty funny so enjoy. And it may look long, but believe me it reads very fast; it's written at like a 2nd grade level.

It was the last day of school. Well, not the LAST day, I had 2 more years to endure, and that was only of middle school. I hadn’t really heard anything about what high school was like, I just knew there couldn’t be anything worse than how it was now.

Middle School. Supposed to be fun right? None of the babyness of elementary school, but not near as hard as high school. My best friend, Jason, had gone to school with me since we were four years old; our moms shopped together, and our dads worked together. Jason and I also played on the same soccer team that both of our dads coached. Both Jason and I were going to attend Aunt Jemima Junior High in May Pearl, Texas. Yes. That’s what I said. AUNT JEMIMA JUNIOR HIGH. What kind of school is named after a food product?! Anyway, with a name like that, the bizarreness of my year was sure to follow. Day one of school, each child’s picture is taken and fastened onto a button the size of a grapefruit which served as our “ID.” Along with our photo was a photocopied printout of Aunt Jemima smiling and pointing at our face. Needless to say, our uniforms also had Aunt Jemima in perfect view. When Jason and I got assigned our classes, we unfortunately weren’t in the same homeroom. He got Ms. Forester, who was apparently the COOLEST person on earth; she was the science teacher, so they go to have experiments all the time. I, not surprisingly, got Mrs. Hernandez-Nyguen-Smith. I’ll go ahead and call her Mrs. HNS to save ink. Yes, Mrs. HNS had indeed been married three times, but didn’t feel like removing her ex husbands from her memory, so she just kept ALL of their names.

The first thing we did in class was listen to HNS struggle through the roll. I HATED roll call because no teacher in the history of my six whole years in school had EVER pronounced my name right. The first part was fairly easy, T-O-P-H-E-R. But my last name was not such a walk in the park. Haizehncleilavichnick. Properly pronounced as HI-ZIN-CLAIL-A-VICH-NICK. You can’t IMAGINE how long it took some teachers to say that. There was a record; one time I had a sub in the fifth grade that took all the way from first lesson until after lunch to get it right, just because he refused to let me tell him how to say it. Apparently he majored in “Word Linguistics” (which I’m not really sure exists at any college) and did not need the help from a child like me to read something. Anyway, back to the real story here. HNS was a CRAZY WOMAN. CRAZY I tell you. Rumor has it she once ate five meals from the lunchroom in one day. No one could confirm, however if she indeed was able to digest all five meals before regurgitating.

After we got through roll call (which incase you were wondering, she only took 3 minutes and 40 seconds to say my name; which was pretty good based on past results, we had our first lesson, mini computers. If you don’t know what mini computers are, think of the most confusing way of teaching a child to count, and then make it fifty times more confusing by using squares and dots. At one point in time, while I fumbled with my laminated “computer” and tissue paper dots, I could see out of the door into Ms. Forester’s room, where Jason was making a volcano out of Playdoh that oozed strawberry smoothie out of the top into coconut-shell cups for each kid. It was like they were having a Luau on the first day of school, and I was drawing on paper like a two year old.

When I got home from school that day, I went to Jason’s house to ride bikes with him. All he would do was talk about how fun his beach party was in Ms. Forester’s class. He also told me that the next day was going to be Dinosaur Day, which they would get to see actual dinosaur eggs and go on a dig to find bones. That was fine! At least I got to have the knowledge of counting with only a piece of paper and four small dots… UGH, who was I kidding. I was seriously ticked off. Needless to say, the rest of the school year was like this. Jason would update me every day of the first semester on how his underwater party went, or what they got for their Christmas present from their teacher (which, by the way, was a gift certificate to my favorite store IN THE WORLD, Comic Warehouse). Sadly, all I had received from my teacher was a four-inch-wide binder of practice SAT tests and a pencil with my misspelled name engraved on it.

I did thankfully make a friend that semester though, Janiqua, whose biggest accomplishment in life was meeting the real Aunt Jemima (I never told her that was actually just our principal dressed up for Halloween). Me and Janiqua were tight. Gradually during second semester, I would go over to her house instead of Jason’s, and Janiqua and I would “flow” with her latest beat that she made with her new computer system. I got so good at it that I gave myself the name, “Topher McFlow.” I don’t think Janiqua thought it was cool though because every time I said it she turned the other way like she didn’t know me. In fact, I really can’t remember her ever actually speaking to me at school, she’d always have a confused look on her face and say she didn’t know me when I would approach her at lunch. Maybe she just didn’t recognize me without all of my cool Fubu clothes on that I would change into after school. But ya, as you can tell, my experience in sixth grade was pretty interesting, and I didn’t even go into all of the times we were evacuated from the school due to “Food Displacement Purposes,” which really meant Mr. Johansen had “displaced” his food in the main hallway, making it a hazard for children to walk in.

As the second semester came to a close, Jason started coming back over to my house, and we were best friends again. Apparently Ms. Forester was now Mrs. Hernandez (YES, she did marry one of HNS’s ex husbands) and was now expecting a baby. Jason had the PE coach Mr. Berg for the remainder of the year, and all they did in class was a combination of Pilates and Yoga to “strengthen the mind and the body.” I had also drifted apart from Janiqua. She stopped returning my calls and ever since I got the bling bling around my neck and spinners on my bicycle, she for some reason wouldn’t answer the door when I came over.

But really, if you’re looking for some life lesson or moral to this story, there really isn’t much of one. It’s more of just letting you know don’t let whatever class you’re in mess up your friendship; you’re still the same people just one of you has a cooler teacher.

Myspace Bulletins Might be the Death of Me

2006-05-24T12:27:00.000-05:00

Seriously though those bulletins serve no purpose. For all of you who do them, I do not like you so much. No, I don't want to know 10 random things about you, I don't care about finding out who has been looking at my profile, and the Make a Wish Foundation ISN'T going to donate 8 cents to someone every time I repost that message.

That is my whole bit. I'm just tired of them.

Thank you.

4th Runner Up is Better Than 5th Place

2006-05-15T07:55:00.000-05:00

As you all know, I've been participating in the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning Jingle Contest for what seems like the past 4 years. Actually it's only been 2 weeks but it seems like forEVER.

Well the contest ended this morning and as expected, I lost. Now, not quite as expected but also not surprising, I got last place. The whole process has kinda been really random. Starting with the day we actually wrote and recorded our jingles (which is written in the blog entry titled "Kidd Kraddick Jingle Contest!") and ending with other contestants racking up MILLIONS (literally) of votes and little me only having 1%. But that's OK- I can make it, I have lots of family and friends who can console me through this difficult time.

So now, I would like to present to you, as an official 5th place winner (isn't fifth place a green ribbon?) other people in the world who have finished 5th place in THEIR competitions and how this proves there is still hope out there for us all.

1. The Night Flight Women's Quartet-
Night Flight Quartet is all about entertainment. They have traveled the Puget Sound area as far north as Whidbey Island and as far south as Tumwater. They have sung for individuals, in a hospital room, on a floating dock, in a warehouse, in the deli of Fred Meyer — and they’d love to sing for you! In 2004, Night Flight fulfilled a dream when they were named the 5th Place Quartet medalists for North Pacific Region 13. The medals were the culmination of lots of hard work for us and the support of their friends and families. Imagine their thrill when they once again were named the 5th Place Quartet at the 2005 North Pacific Region 13 convention in April of 2005!

TWO TIME 5th place winners! That's incredible.
www.jetcities.org/nightflight/

2. Gary Combs and Robert Fincham- Potomac River Grand Championship Fishing Contest-

Gary and Robert caught a total of 9 fish in the October, 2005 competition for a total of 27lb 1 oz of fish. The 5th place prize awarded them $700!!!

And last, but most certainly not least, and not 5th place again (just 3rd this time):

3. The Red Hot Peppers- Softball 12u "B" Super World Series. East Peoria, Illinois
I must add that the Red Hot Peppers actually tied for 5th place with the Gilroy Shockers and they still both got those huge plaques... Lucky.
So, there you have it! Those are just a FEW of the MANY people in this world who have gotten 5th place in some sort of competition. Although for the two softball teams, I gotta say: when you TIE for 5th place, that basically means you really got 6th place and they're just trying to be nice.

But that's just my opinion.

Commandment #11

2006-05-11T10:23:00.000-05:00

11. Thou shalt not make fun of thy neighbor who's cell phone is broken, for the next day yours shall be broken also.

Seriously. I did it, mine's broken now. Not fun.

Yes, Adam Rucker has been through TWO Sidekicks now. Third one's the charm!

Sad

2006-05-10T17:21:00.000-05:00

It's pretty sad when I basically have to BEG to get people to go to a dang concert with me. And it's good too!

That is all.

GO SEE IT!

2006-05-10T14:15:00.000-05:00

Just FYI, in order to make this a little more like an ACTUAL blog, I will be updating more frequently with shorter entries. It'll be a lot more fun that way. So check back not only daily, but also during the day as now that school's over I'll have nothing to do and will be updating this constantly.

SO for now, I would just like to say that ladies and gentlemen, no matter what your beliefs, it is time to put aside all that hatred for Tom Cruise or "TomKat" and go see the new movie Mission: Impossible 3. It seriously was amazing.

Two weeks ago I was the guy in Target saying "Why the heck did they put out a 'Special Edition Mission Impossible' DVD? No one's gonna buy it," and directly following the movie, I was the loser in target buying Mission Impossible 1 & 2 on DVD. Seriously, at like, 10 o' clock after I saw the movie I went to buy the DVDs. Loser much?
Anyway, if you're a fan of LOST (LIKE ME) then you will NO DOUBT love this movie. J.J. Abrams, the creator and frequent director of LOST directed this movie, and Michael Giacchino who does the music on LOST produced the music on the movie as well. It was incredible. It was chock full of throw backs to LOST which if you're a huge fan you'll totally catch. Plus "Felicity"'s in it so that should be reason enough. Oh and Philip Seymour Hoffman too, he's really good in that completely evil sort of way. And all the gadgets are INSANELY CRAZY. But all in all it was just a really good movie; one of my new favorites for sure. So go see it.

And that's all I really have to say.

Catch Yizzou Later

Kidd Kraddick Jingle Contest!

2006-04-30T17:35:00.000-05:00

WOW. It has really been forEVER since I've written one of my wonderful blog entries. Almost 5 months to not be exact. As you know I am now mostly doing “Daily Briefings” (which btw is a huge misnomer since they usually come about once a week) at www.ruck itup.com and haven’t written here since December. But this week has truly been crazy enough for me to have reason to bring it on back.

If you already know part one of the Kidd Kraddick Jingle Contest story (how I found out I was a finalist) or don’t really care to know part one, go ahead and skip to the next paragraph. Last week I got a call that I was a finalist in the contest that I had sent in a CD recording of myself in for. The next day at around 8am, I got called by the people at Kidd Kraddick in the Morning for a radio interview. I ended up sounding kinda dumb but that was just because I was nervous and I had just eaten an old frozen Jimmy Dean Sausage Bisquit (you can hear the recording at www.ruckitup.com). But they definitely played my song on the radio which was very cool. I can check that off my list of 5 lifelong goals. (The other 4 being owning a Mexican restaurant, having a tortilla-making machine in my living room, cleaning my room, and living in Costa Rica). So anyway, I finished the interview and they told me that they would see me on Saturday for the rest of the competition.

So here came Saturday, the big day. The six of us finalists all waited quietly as the head honchos of the show, Kidd, Kellie, Big Al, and Psycho Shanon all arrived. I got to know many of the people there in the room. I must say Kim was the most interesting because she is from Mexia, Texas which we ALL know is the hometown of the beloved Anna Nicole Smith. I proceeded to ask Kim if she had ever encountered “Cousin Shelly,” to which she answered reluctantly, “Yes.” And if you don’t know who Cousin Shelly is, don’t ask. She’s Psycho. But she does an awfully good rendition of The First Noel when she’s got a karaoke machine on hand. (Kim is second from the left in this pic)

The day officially began when Scott (I forgot what his job title was) told us that “like with any good contest, there is a twist.” Oh lord. I hate those two words. Or, four words rather, “there is a twist.” It’s almost never a good thing. They might as well just say "we lied to you" or "we forgot to mention." The twist was that we each had 10 minutes to come up with a jingle to sing A Cappella and then they’d choose the best five out of us and the other person would be sent home. So ya, I freaked basically but ended up making it through that round. Thanks to the Red Bull-induced creative juices in my brain that quickly wore off.

After eating a small lunch of pizza and Smart Water, we were each put into individual rooms with a CD that had three tracks with just music on them and given one hour to come up with a full blown jingle. Once again, I freaked. Let me tell you how it went down. I sat there for a good 30 minutes and came up with absolutely NOTHING. Seriously, I had nothing. It was not good. All I could think of were the words “Kidd Kraddick in the Morning” which was A. not at all creative since that’s the title of the show, and B. annoying as heck when it’s the only thing you can think of. So after the 30 minutes, a songwriter and producer came in to "assist" and "guide" me in my writing (which I didn’t have any writings for them to assist me on) and it didn’t really help much at all. They were more concerned about my mental state because at the time I was really freaking out and probably looked like I was about to cry (although I did not. I promise).

Oh, I should also mention that while ALL of this is going on, there are cameras on us in an attempt to make this all more like a reality show which will be posted on their website at www.kiddlive.com. So I loved having to pretend like I had everything under control while the cameras were on me when really, my brain was frying to a crisp.

Long story short, my hour was up and I still had no lyrics for my jingle. I was out. Seriously, I felt like just taking the walk of shame and going home. So we had about 10 minutes before we had to go into the studio to record but we couldn’t listen to our track anymore. So in those 10 minutes I managed to come up with an entire jingle’s worth of words (verse, chorus, verse, chorus) but I still couldn’t sing them.

I was the forth to go into the studio and record, and this would be the first time for me to sing my lyrics with the jingle. I had NO idea if it would work or not. I figured if it sounded awful, I would just close my eyes and it would all go away. Which I ended up trying, and it totally didn't work.

Luckily it ended well and I managed to finish a jingle which will also be posted on the KiddLive.com website later this week.

I had a fun time but it was also probably one of the most stressful days of my life. Considering most of my days are spent eating chips and hot sauce and watching TiVo.

My favorite part of the day was meeting the infamous Psycho Shanon who REALLY is psycho. She’s a hoot though. Her job during the day was to take the audio recorder around and interview the finalists as things were happening. She would always interview us as someone was singing having us “judge” them. Always trying to start a fight, she was. I didn’t say anything seeing as I was sure it would get turned around on my somehow on the radio.

Above is Shanon and I both happy, and tough.

Hope your day is wonderful and enjoyable. And I will see you tomorrow. (Or based on past experience with this blog, about 5 months).

Is This Attractive?

2005-12-08T19:30:00.000-06:00

During the holiday season it is customary for many people to celebrate by decorating the outside of their houses with what most people call "Christmas Lights". There are many a variety of these so called "Christmas Lights"; for instance there are twinkle lights, multi-color lights, icicle lights, big lights, small lights, and so on and so forth.

Usually people start putting up their lights around December 1st. Now, there is also a group of people that light to jump on the Christmas decor as early as Thanksgiving, but studies show these people only account for about 25% of the population. And of course there's always one person, who could be referred to as an "Odd Ball", that seems to keep their lights up YEAR-ROUND. Those people aren't too very popular. At least to me.

The point of my story isn't to embarrass year-round Christmas Lighters, or to even talk about Christmas lights in general. The point of my story is to discuss a new trend that is becoming more and more popular in Christmas decorating, and that is "Inflatables". Are we serious? Have we come to this? People are putting giant blown-up figurines that really belong on the side of the highway advertising for car dealerships (see Acceptance is the First Step: http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/09/acceptance-is-first-step.html) in their front yards. Just go to Garden Ridge and you'll see that there are HUNDREDS of varieties of these unusual decorations that use most of the oxygen in the store to power themselves; the worst being an animated Santa that goes up and down an inflated chimney. Now, if you have one of these inflatables, I'm not criticizing you necessarily; my major gripe with them is that some people think it's OK to ONLY have one of these inflatables in your yard and have no other lights. That, is a no no. I've driven by several houses who have simply stuck an inflatable tree in front of their house and assumed that was enough. It's not. You see, there are many people who put a LOT of effort into their lights and simply plugging in your little tree is actually very insulting. It's also not that attractive.

In life, you can usually tell if something you're doing is right by asking yourself one simple question: "Is this attractive?". Now, when you ask, you must be completely honest with yourself. For instance, when you woke up this morning and decided to wear what you did, you probably asked yourself "Is this attractive?" and then made changes or stayed the same based on your answer. Well, this rule should apply the same or even more to what you do to the outside of your house. So next time you go outside and plug in that giant inflatable snowman, ask yourself "Is this attractive?" and then when you finally say to yourself, "No.", go out and buy some real Christmas lights and then spend a few hours putting them up. You'll be glad you did. I think.

"A little effort goes a long way."

Server MADNESS!!!

2005-11-09T10:00:00.000-06:00

So let's just start off by saying, I have a WHOOOLE new respect for all waitersaround the world (and you should too). If you didn't already know, I just started waitingtables at the Olive Garden (the new one on 190). Let's just say it's been wild.

I spent a whole week taking a crash course in Olive Garden 101. I tried everything on the menuwhich made me absolutely sick (not cuz it's bad, but because I had 20 things at one time), I learned a TON about wine, and then of course, how to put all the orders in the computer.Now, "training" is good and all, but nothing can get you more ready than actually serving someone. SO, a couple of days before opening, each server got a chance to serve a table of other employees to get some experience under the belt. WELL, let's just say, I didn't do too well! You know, here I am, I've got their drinks out, I've got their bread and salad out,I'm doing great. I thought. Until about 20 minutes later, one of the guys is like, "Man, that appetizer sure is taking long..." To which I replied, "Oh wow! It SUUURE is! Let me go check on that!"-knowing good and well I had never entered it into the computer at all. WONDERFUL Adam, you're on your first table and you've ALREADY screwed it up. So naturally, I go put the appetizer into the computer aaand their meal comes out before it. What do I say to that?I mean, sure these aren't exactly REAL dinner guests, but they ARE other servers who totally think I'm an idiot now. So, I try to sort of laugh it up a little by coining the new phrase "after-tizer" and explaining that sometimes it's nice to have a little after-dinner snack (even if it is a small pepperoni pizza). But while I'm trying to mend things with my table my wonderful and ever-present manager walks up behind me and says "Alright, WHAT happened".Well "I'm not gonna lie," I said, "I didn't even PUT their appetizer into the computer." She was a little shocked by the bluntness, but I think she appreciated it. SO anyway, I felt like a loser for a couple of days, that is, until "the big spill".

Ohhhhh the Big Spill... Well let's not beat around the bush, I spilled a glass of wine on someone, OK?! Geez. It happens to everyone doesn't it? Actually, it really does, people spill ALL the time, which doesn't make it OK, it just makes it common. Anyway, the woman was very VERY nice about it which kept me calm. Oh, and it WAS the infamous staining RED wine...

SO, now I've been on the clock for about a week and *knock on wood* everything's going OK for now. So everyone make sure you come visit me at the good ole OG! (Call me to make sure I'll be there) And then request Adam R. YA, there are THREE Adams that work at the OG. Crazy, especially cuz there's no Davids, whom I know like, 400.

SO, the moral of the story is: be NICE to waiters! They have a WHOLE lot to do, AND remember (even though I would never do anything because that is just WRONG) they ARE the ones responsible for your food...

=The END=

New York: Episode One

2005-10-05T09:47:00.000-05:00

Good heavens, it’s been so long since my last entry, and so much has happened! The reason for my delay is that I’ve been putting off the monumental task of telling you the story of my recent trip to New York. Now, I feel like I can do it. I will, however, be splitting up the stories into several “episodes” if you will, in order to make them shorter and easier to read. SO without any further adieu, I now present New York: Episode One (Pilot).

Now, normally when I travel it’s an easy trip with Southwest Airlines through Dallas Love Field. However, since I was going to New York, we were required to fly another airline (Air Tran) out of DFW Airport. If you haven’t been to DFW, keep in mind (and this is absolutely true, you could look it up) that the airport itself is larger than the entire island of Manhattan. So navigating through it, is sometimes a task, but we made it to our gate AOK.

If you remember, the last time I was at DFW, I had a little trouble with the security woman (see SECURITY BREACH in the archives), but this time I had no such trouble, I wasn’t even patted down! I’ve seriously had to be patted down on EVERY flight I’ve flown. So this time, I had NO belt on, and absolutely no metal in my pockets, and got through fine. The story comes later, from inside the gift shop.

You see, my mother and I arrived at our gate very early, about 45 minutes or so before we would be boarding, so we naturally went to the gift shop to pick up magazines and what not before the flight. The shop was located directly next to one of the security checkpoint lines so we could see all the people as they passed through the detectors. Well, this wasn’t a big deal or anything until we saw one of the officers approach a 15 year old girl…

“Ma’am, we’ve had to confiscate some items from your bag that aren’t allowed on the plane.”

Oh lord, PERFECT, people smuggling things on board.

“We had to take this hairspray, it’s not allowed because it’s flammable.”

OK, maybe that’s not a very big deal, just hairspray.

“But umm… I’m not sure what you were thinking but…”

Oh great, here it comes.

“But, you absolutely can NOT have this BUTCHER KNIFE on board the plane. It’s just NOT allowed.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?

My mom and I FREEZE and look over at the girl and the officer as he proceeds to pull out the BUTCHER KNIFE and show it to the girl. I. Was. FLOORED. Go into your kitchen and look in that large block of wood that holds all of your butcher knives, pull out the largest one, and the knife that girl had was BIGGER than that. What exactly was she planning on chopping up while on board? I'm pretty sure it wasn't chicken and dumplings...

The lucky thing though, was that she and her family were not on our flight, at least we figured because we were several gates down from where our gate actually was. So we just went along with our own business and made our way down to our gate and eventually onto the plane.

It took a while to load in though, there were several minutes we just sat while no one else entered into the plane. A minute or so before our scheduled flight time, my mom jokingly said to me “I guess the knife girl isn’t on our flight, thank goodness.” I was thankful, we were taking off and they wouldn’t pose a problem to us. But OHHHH no, literally SECONDS before the attendants shut the door, a frantic family comes onto the plane… Knife girl’s family. Oh yes, and do you want to know where they sat?? Oh that would be the ROW across from us!

Something that was a little funny though, was that in their row was a VERY large COS (in airline talk that means Customer of Size) who LITERALLY took up two whole seats, but did not purchase two seats. So for a few minutes before take off, the girl’s mom was squeezed into about 4 inches of seat space until they moved the COS to first class because he was SO big.

This picture is courtesy of my WONDERFUL T-Mobile Sidekick 2. You can see in the right of the picture the flight attendant leaning over and telling the COS (the guy in the hat) that he will have to move up to first class.

Anyway… the now, knifeless girl did not lose her cool or anything during the flight but you better believe I had my eye on her the whole time... I also had a large child's pen (the pen, not the child was large) on hand just incase she decided to make any moves (if you dont know what I'm talking about, see Red Eye starring my dear friend Rachel McAdams).

CHECK BACK LATER THIS WEEK FOR EPISODE TWO!!!

Super California Trip: Illustrated Edition!

2005-08-24T13:18:00.000-05:00

I am proud to announce that this is the FIRST Fully Illustrated Edition Blog! SO enjoy...

This past week I made another trip to the sunny and beautiful California, USA. Quite a change from Texas it was, just stepping off the plane and going outside felt like I was in air conditioning. It was wonderful.

My dad and I made the trip to San Francisco to go see the wakeboarding championship finals in Clear Lake. We managed to tour San Francisco and Napa Valley while we were there too.

OK so, trip starts out and we go straight to Fisherman’s Wharf (PARKING WAS $18!!!) in San Francisco to get some grub and see all there is to see out there. Fisherman’s Wharf is home to the country’s most notorious jail, Alcatraz, which is a big island that only one person has ever escaped from (does Azkaban ring a bell to anyone???).

Anyway, as you can see, seeing this jail was one of the highlights of my trip... Then we got fish ‘n chips at a restaurant there on the pier which were very good but ended up making for a not-so-good car ride later on.

We also stopped at the very famous Golden Gate Bridge. I was however, slightly disappointed because all this time I’ve been fooled into believing that it was ACTUALLY golden. It turns out that it’s a rather Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Orangish-Yellow and not golden at all. I asked the ranger on site if he had any explanation for this and he had “No Comment.” WHATEVER.

Things must always be difficult for me and my dad. You see, my father and I, instead of taking the easy and most popular highway to get to our hotel a few hundred miles away, we instead took the WINDIEST highway in California that literally made you turn 90 degrees every fifty feet. Once this began to occur, I began to think back on my fish that I had eaten earlier, and then the McDonald’s I had later that day for dinner and it WAS NOT a good thing. You see, I had also tried to read Harry Potter on the way which proved to NOT be a good idea because well, like most people (besides Nicole Richie) I don’t WANT to see my food again after I eat it (and with the way my stomach was feeling, I was about to). So, I decided to stop reading and close my eyes for the duration of the journey.

HOWEVER, being that it was only me and my dad on the trip, I had to be the navigator of the endeavor… Now for those of you that know me, I can BARELY tell a difference between Dallas’s I-30 and 635, much less tell you how to get somewhere halfway across California. I had to use a 10 year old AAA map that barely had anything labeled on it and it was pitch black outside. NOW, if you haven’t been to this area of California, they do NOT believe in street signs. At ALL. There would be highways to your right and left with no labeling whatsoever. SOMETIMES there would be a sign 200 feet in front of a turn that hinted that a highway was coming up, but it wouldn’t say where. Like it was some sort of joke or something.

We’re lost. So what do we do? We of course call our hotel. Surely they can give us directions. After we were outsourced to India, the man on the opposite end of the line told us that we were going the completely wrong way and needed to turn around. So we did, and continued on for several miles. Until I discovered on the map that there were SEVERAL highways with the EXACT same name. You see, we were on one highway 29 that goes east and west, and the man on the line thought we were on the OTHER highway 29 that goes North and South. Long story short, it took us until 2am to get to our hotel. (And when we got home, my dad found an envelope on his desk containing the newly updated 2005 California map. "Wow, I bet we could have used this out there." He said. I bet we could have dad. I bet we could.

Over the next several days we made many stops in some pretty cool places. For instance, the Muir Woods just north of San Francisco. These woods are home to some of the oldest and tallest trees in America. It’s a place where Michael Jackson is rumored to visit “quite often” seeing as he loves to climb trees like a child. I also think that when he climbs the trees it helps him get closer to his home planet way up in the sky.

Another stop we made was in Geyserville, California. Home to “Old Faithful” or at least, California’s attempt at Old Faithful. We waited and waited and waited to see this incredible phenomenon of nature with nothing to be seen.

However, after about thirty minutes, at last, we had liftoff! It was pretty cool to see the steaming water shoot up out of the ground like that, until I realized that the fountain in front of our hotel did the exact same thing and you never had to wait for it…

Also at the same place as the geyser, they for some reason had some fenced in goats that you could look at. I was lucky enough to get pictures with some of them, it was so cool. I named this one Mr. Picket (for the picket fence that was up around him).

I also had a VERY close brush with fame at the geyser place. I saw a kid that looked EXACTLY like Napoleon Dynamite. It was freaky. SO I of course took pictures of him (pretended like I was taking pictures of the geyser but then would move the camera at the last second). But what was even MORE bizarre was that after I saw Napoleon, I turned around and saw a sign pointing to where some llamas were. NOT kidding. I almost freaked out. So of course, I tried to go find Napoleon so I could get a picture of him with Tina but then I got nervous and he seemed to have left the premises. So, I just got a picture of Tina by herself. (I assumed her name was Tina since that's what the one from the movie's name was.)

Super California Trip: Illustrated Edition! Continued...

2005-08-23T14:50:00.000-05:00

The last stop we made was at the petrified forest. This is where trees have fallen thousands of years ago, been covered by volcanic ash, and then have turned into rocks. Now, these were some massive trees. This one was called “The SJ Tree” which, I asked around and SJ apparently stands for “Star Jones”.

It was pretty cool. Although, most of the trees were fenced off so for all we know, it could have just been a regular old tree spray painted gray, but I choose to believe the whole volcanic rock thing, it’s more interesting. I also met a pretty cool friend there, we bonded very quickly.

I asked her what her name was and she said "Mama" and I was like, "Oh that's cool, what's your last name?" and she just goes, "Bear, you idiot, Mama Bear..." She got all defensive and started to growl and I was just like whatEVER dude, I'm outa here. And I left. Shortest relationship EVER. (Later on I realized that there were cubs involved. So really it all worked out for the best. It's too early for me to have children and all.)

The wakeboarding was definitely the coolest part of the trip. We got to see some pretty darn good wake boarders. I didn’t get out on the water cuz I didn’t want to embarrass anyone by showing off. I just spectated this time. BUT I did manage to get my motocross on and made some pretty sweet jumps.

ANYWAY. It was an awesome trip. Cali was wonderful. And now I’m back in Texas. Gotta love that hundred degree weather!

***SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT***
I’m proud to announce the GRAND OPENING of one of our city’s greatest natural treasures, Garland’s own OLD FAITHFUL!!! The Grand Opening will be Monday, August 29th in MY BACKYARD! Come see Old Faithful eruptions and dogs!!!

Admission is $4 and our hours are 9-5 seven days a week! Please come and visit!

*Disclaimer*
As you all know, I am an extreme activist against the Improper and Over-Use of Complaining as a Conversational Tool. I however, did do some complaining within the contents of this entry. Please excuse it and know that it is only for story telling and entertainment purposes.
*End of Disclaimer*

I Hate Hurricane Harbor

2005-08-03T01:47:00.000-05:00

OK so this past weekend, my brother, sister, and I went to the Hurricane Harbor water park, WHICH, will NEVER happen again.

My sister won tickets from a radio giveaway at the mall on Friday, and the tickets OF COURSE expired on Saturday, so we went!

First of all, GETTING to the dang park is a trip in itself. The hour long drive in the hot, leather-seated car in 100 degree heat nearly killed me. Beads of sweat dripped down my pale-white face, and as we passed Louis Tussaud’s House of Wax I couldn’t help but think that all of the wax people HAD to have melted away by now. Then I had flashes of Paris Hilton in my head (because she was in the movie House of Wax) and for the rest of the day, I could hear her saying “That’s hot” like a really annoying song stuck in my head.

Anyway, we eventually got there and by the time we found a parking spot I decided that we basically could have just parked AT my house and walked to the park and would have been MUCH closer. Never-the-less, we eventually got to the gate and I realized that I had by then lost about 15 pounds in water weight (and I felt like having a snow cone really bad).

Now, I’ve never been a big fan of water parks for many reasons. One, NASTY people in very little clothing. And two, being in water that these NASTY people have done WHO KNOWS what in. But seriously, it’s basically like, if you see someone and you’re like, WOW they are really gross, and then you go take a bath with them (with swimsuits on you sick, sick people). SO I decided that I would refrain from entering the God-forsaken “Lazy River” and the wave pool. I would stick to the slides and what not.

I was having fun, my siblings and I did several slides that were pretty cool and had short lines. But then we got to the Der Stuka… Let me FIRST say that I had to wait in line for over THIRTY minutes, which was just WOW in itself. But I also had to wait behind a girl named “Essie” who kindly introduced herself when I stepped into the line. Essie was QUITE a character, she had at MOST four teeth and I would put money on the fact that being at the water park was the first time that she had had anything REMOTELY close to a bath. I got to hear all about her Uncle Earl and how her granny was “selling the farm.” I didn’t know that there were actually REAL people like this. I felt like I had been transported to an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies (and that's NOT a good thing...).

ANYWAY. On this ride, two people ride at the same time in separate slide tubes that twist around each other the whole way down. I had planned on going on it with my sister, but GUESS WHAT! It just so happened that the line evened out at me and Essie. I tried to let the people behind me cut in line but they all kindly replied "No thank you" and then giggled when I turned around, as if I wasn't still a FOOT in front of them. Dangit! So whatever, I went ahead and got into the end of the tube and just as I did, Essie screams: “Last one to the bottom is a rotten bull frog!” and as I'm trying to process the fact that she replaced rotten "egg" with rotten "bullfrog", Essie has PUSHED me down the tube. (I usually give myself time to prep for these sort of things but unfortunately, I had no prep time for this run.)

It was like a HORRIBLE nightmare. I closed my eyes in order to lessen the motion sickness, but all I could hear in my head was the hysterical witch-like cackle of Essie revolving around me as the tubes twisted in and out of each other. Downward and downward we went, until finally I opened my eyes and could see the light at the end of the tunnel (literally) and I knew I had nearly made it. Until *BUMP!* I felt like my head had run over like, a bolt or something and I quickly blacked out.

WHAT is happening?! From then on all I knew was that the lifeguards waiting at the bottom had drug me to the side so I didn’t get run over by the people following me down the tube. Now, if you’ve ever fainted, or lost your vision, you know how it is when you can see again. Weird, right? Well let me just say, the first thing I saw when I regained vision was ESSIE and her four teeth, THREE inches from my face yelling “Bubba! Is anybody in there?!” and knocking on my head like it was a barn door. So naturally, I did what anyone would do in that situation, vomited, EVERYWHERE. So much that they had to shut down the ride temporarily in order to sanitize the water again.

Everyone in line pointed at me and gave me horrible looks, some even threatening... It’s sad when the WEIRDO people at the water park are looking at you like you're crazy. That’s when you KNOW you’ve got problems. Obviously I didn’t stay any longer and quickly made a celebrity-like exit with a towel covering my face.

NOT my most proud moment and the experience as a whole was just not too enjoyable. I likely will never go back there again. I'll just stick to my slip and slide in the backyard here at home.

PS: Incase you were wondering, which I know you were, I had indeed hit a loose bolt when coming down the slide. Hurricane Harbor sent me a letter of apology and two complementary passes back to the park…

PSS: Does anyone need passes to Hurricane Harbor? I have two.

Red, White, and Brunch

2005-07-04T22:30:00.000-05:00

I only WISH I could say that I made this all up...

Normal people spend their July 4th holiday weekends down at the lake maybe, or at a friend’s pool, or even just by cooking out. But me? Noooo. Can’t be normal around here! Gotta be DIFFERENT. I spent my 4th of July at the Garland Senior Center’s Annual Bocce Brunch!
So let me just say how I got into all of this…

Last week at my family’s routine El Chico Night dinner, I asked my G-parents what they were doing to celebrate the big Independence Day and they told me that they were going to the bocce ball tournament and brunch thing at the senior center and I nicely replied, “Oh! That sounds like fun!” You know, any one would say that to kinda half-acknowledge what they’ve said and then half-close that part of the conversation in order to change the subject.

Well, this comment of mine was taken seriously and I found myself getting signed up for the Bocce Brunch. NOT even kidding. So immediately they get all excited and start scheduling times for me to “train” with them so we would beat Sam and Bernice Johnson and win the trophy…
So like, WHAT can I say to all of this? They were clearly excited and I couldn’t just be like, I’m sorry I was completely LYING when I said that brunch sounded interesting, ESPECIALLY when there's a trophy involved... I love trophies... So I stuck with it and all this week had to go to bocce practice, WHICH happened at like 3 o’ clock to leave time for dinner at 4:30... At Luby's.

So all of this training led up to the big day, TODAY when the tournament and brunch actually took place. So like, I’m cool, it’s whatever, right? After all, I’m ALWAYS up for food and I’ll play a little bocce ball in order to get it. But like, we show up, and there are seriously, EIGHT people there; me, my two grandparents, Sam and Bernice, my parents who came to watch, and Ida the desk attendant at the senior center who was serving as referee.

So basically this “tournament” was a sudden death match between my grandparents, the Johnsons, and me. First we had our “brunch”; which Ida had just bought four egg McMuffins on her way to the center and stuck them on a plate and called it “brunch”.

Then we got to the playing field. If you don’t know what bocce is, it’s basically like lawn bowling, using wooden balls. Well I walk out to he “court” which is really the center’s parking lot that Ida had sadly marked off using children’s sidewalk chalk that she attached to her oxygen tank, and then rolled around the parking lot.

Let’s just say, I did NOT even end up playing the game. I had NO idea what I was supposed to do and really was more entertained by just watching Ida wheel around on her Rascal scooter and use her whistle to referee quite possibly the MOST tame sports game in HISTORY.

My grandparents lost, apparently the Johnsons were like, professional bocce players when they were younger. But it’s all good. It makes for a great memory of my 4th of July… I mean, who WOULDN’T rather be at a fake Bocce Brunch than at a nice lake somewhere… Ehh.

PS: This would ONLY happen to me, and don't even TRY to match my story, cuz you can't.

Security Breach

2005-05-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well now that all of our favorite TV shows are coming to an end with their season finales and what not, I figured this would be the best time for me to come back with the blogs to keep you entertained over the summer. I was on a bit of a hiatus but now you can expect there to be new entries regularly.

WELL WELL WELL. Summer’s here folks! As if you couldn’t tell by the 100 degree temperatures and dry atmosphere. I’ve been looking forward to this summer for a long time now. I’m so over being cold and not being able to jet ski or anything. I think this time around I’m kickin’ it old school. Do you remember Slip and Slides??? HELLO. Welcome to the most fun EVER. And also welcome to paying $15 for basically what is a very long trash bag that you can hook a hose up to. But now they’ve gotten all fantsy-pantsy with their ramps and sprinkler systems. Apparently there is now a “Snoop Dog Slip and Slizzide” which comes fully equipped with chrome-plated siding…

This summer I hope to travel to NYC and see Hairspray and Wicked, along with making a trip to China Town… love that place. But ya, speaking of traveling: the last time I went through airport security I had a bit of a skiddattle. Before I went through the metal detector at DFW, the security woman, Francine, asked if I was wearing a belt, to which I answered, “Yes, but it’s never gone off in the metal detectors so it should be OK.” Well, Francine wasn’t satisfied, she insisted that I take off the belt because their metal detectors are “EXTRA sensitive”… Well I took off my belt reluctantly, partly because the woman scared me, and partly because my pants were too large and were close to falling down. I then walked through the metal detector and the FREAKIN thing went off! WHAT?! I check my pocket and I have a STUPID tin box of Eclipse Mints in my pocket (don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful but really annoying when going through a metal detector) so I have to go BACK to the front where Francine has a wicked smile on her face and says, “WELL. It looks like you went off ANYWAY... MR. SMARTY!”

Well, first of all. WHAT did you just call me?! SECOND of all, Do you KNOW who I am? Does SHOWBOATER ring a bell to you??? And Third of all, WHAT kind of name is Francine. Needless to say, I’m appalled that she was so rude to me, for once in my life I actually HAD NOT been smart to her. But then I suddenly was, “WOW. You must not have ANY friends!” I said VERY smartly back to her as I threw my mints in the bucket (only after I offered to give her the can cuz she totally needed them) and immediately walked through the metal detector, retrieved my other belongings, and got on my flight.

OK. Maybe I didn’t really say that, but I TOTALLY wanted to. Instead, I just gave her a really mean look. But she totally got the picture. NO ONE messes with Adam Rucker.

Oh airport security, there’s nothing better than having your infant child wanded for explosives while you’re bag is being opened and its contents spread across in the airport for all to see.

Gotta love it.

*DING* You are now free to move about the country.

Pen Pal!

2005-04-10T10:36:00.000-05:00

Remember pen pals? Those were the best. Back in the 2nd grade I had a pen pal from CHINA! Her name was Wing Ta. If you were to ask me back then why I picked her, I would have said because I wanted to "learn more about the Chinese culture," but I'll tell you right now that it was totally because of her name. I mean, how often is it you get to meet someone with the first name, Wing???

So anyway, we were instructed to write them and tell them about our families and what our favorite foods and sports were. I, however, being the class-clown-type person that I am, did not do any of that. Instead, I asked her specifically WHY her parents named her Wing. Was there a deeper meaning to it? Did they have an abnormal affection to chicken wings? I also asked her if it caused a lot of people to make fun of her because, "I would totally make fun of you if you went to my school." Ya... I wasn't very nice to Wing come to think of it. So anyway, I ended the letter with, "I hope to hear from you soon, I just checked my fortune cookie and it said I would!"

...Well, weeks went by with no reply. One day after school (a month after sending my pen pal letter) my teacher called me to the front of the room while holding a letter. "A letter from Wing!" I exclaimed. But she didn't seem as excited as I was. She proceeded to sit me down at one of the desks and lay the letter on top for me to read. It wasn't from Wing. It was from her father, a general in the Chinese army (who had kindly attached a picture of himself posing with his sword scarily aimed at the camera (me)). The letter said that, "If you are to EVER attempt speaking with my daughter again, you will face the wrath of the Cobra (apparently a name he had given to his sword).

Wow, this was a lot to take in being only what, 7 years old? I had no idea that simply enjoying someone's name would cause me to become a number one enemy of the Chinese Army/Government. Before I knew it I was getting hundreds of letters in the mail all written in Chinese that I obviously couldn't read, but managed to understand after seeing the pictures of people with their swords (one even showed a picture of them cutting a fortune cookie that had my name on it in half). Needless to say, I was scared for my life. But the most scary part was when my parents received a call from then-President Clinton's Oval Office secretary saying that "Your son has seemed to become a national threat, and China is insisting on us turning him over to them." WHAAAAAAAAAAT???

The worst part is that my parents DID turn me over to them. Before I knew it, I was on a plane to D.C. under the watchful eye of a federal marshall who was sent with me to make sure I "didn't make any rash decisions." But when I got to D.C. everything was finally straightened out. I explained that I was simply "amused at the name Wing" and really wanted to cause no harm to her or the Chinese nation. Clinton spent 9 hours on the phone with the Chinese President Jiang Zemin trying to clear my name. I kept telling him to emphasize the fact that I LOVED what they had done with fried rice and that soy sauce was one of my top three favorite condiments. But for some reason, Clinton laughed at those comments and didn't even use them.

Eventually I was sent back home with a clean record on the condition that I never sent a pen pal letter again. I was also banned from every Chinese restaurant in all 50 United States...

If you don't want to be my friend anymore because I used to be on the National Terrorism Watchlist, I'll understand, but just know that I've changed a lot. At least now you know the true story...

Home, Rancid Home...

2005-03-25T00:47:00.000-06:00

What a wonderful Spring Break I had... Five days in sunny San Diego and Los Angeles, California is AOK with me! I was however happy about coming home. After all, I'd get to sleep in my own bed for once but the drawback was having to go to school the next morning... ANYWAY, let me play this whole story out for you:

It's 3pm (LA time) on monday and I call the peeps to alert them that I am ready to get on the plane and to make sure to pick me up at the airport at 11pm. Sounds all fine and dandy right? Well, what my father was about to tell me would change everything, so much that it almost made me skip my flight entirely...

Apparently he had been spending his whole weekend in our attic... Why you ask? I'll tell you why. Well, APPARENTLY there is a DEAD ANIMAL ROTTING somewhere in either our attic or walls... YES. DEAD. And ROTTING. So Dad, "Does it like, smell a LOT?" I ask. "Umm... YA." Are you KIDDING ME?! He went on to further explain that he had already lost both his lunch and dinner and would probably never eat again. So my first thought was "Well, I guess we'll just have to move?" Apparently that wasn't what he was thinking. So he continued, unsuccessfully, to search the attic for what was either a dead squirrel, raccoon, possum, or armadillo. Now, I ruled out armadillo because let's face it, I've NEVER seen one in real life. And then I'm gonna go ahead and also cross out raccoon or possum because I cannot bring myself to accept the fact that a dead one of those could be somewhere above my head (in the ceiling), bound to fall on my as I sleep at night... So I decided that the rodent in the wall must be a squirrel (it seems the most harmless, although the one from Christmas Vacation STILL gives me the creeps)...

SO fast forward to monday night. Land in Dallas, get home. I walk in the door, very surprised that I really can't smell ANYTHING. So I'm like, alright, this dead animal thing might not be so bad so I go to bed, not once smelling any foul smells. Tuesday morning, still nothing and I head off to school. OK so really, this ISN'T as bad as my dad made it out to be... Tuesday afternoon, get home from school. I walk in and I kid you not, I ALMOST hurled. The smell finally hit my like a sack full of marbles. I fell to the ground, grasping to find anything to hold and stabilize my self with until I realized that I didn't need to be stabilized. Instead, I ran to the bathroom to get the can of potpurri Glade. I sprayed it not less than a foot in front of my and could smell NOTHING. The rotting smell was so powerful that a can full of Glade couldn't stop it. Eventually this led me to eventually go to the store and spend $50 on air fresheners including an Oust fan, spray, and wall mounted sprays, and enough incense to qualify my as a Buddhist monk. My house now smells like a cocktail of the finest air fresheners this world can give you and also that store called Earthbound at the mall (not REALLY a good thing). I also sleep with a gas mask on at night in order to not get contaminated...

Bad news is: Dad called all the exterminators and they can't do anything... Good news is: the smell should go away in two weeks... OK let's face it. There ain't no good news. So for now, it's Oust, incense, and gas masks for me!!! Woohoo! There's nothing better than coming home from California to a house that smells of decaying varmint...

PS: 1,000 points to me for using the word "rancid" in the title...

If you don't know the definition of "rancid," first, slap yourself for not knowing your vocabulary, and then check it out at http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=rancid

High Hopes

2005-03-15T22:20:00.000-06:00

It's always good to look on the "bright" side of things. I mean, there's not much else you can do when something bad happens to you. Take for instance, you get in a car wreck one day. Look on the bright side! At least while you're recovering from a broken leg and bruised face you'll be showered with "Get Well Soon" gifts and now have an excuse for lying around all day watching TV... Now, I'm not saying that I want to get in a wreck or anything. I'm just trying to lighten the mood a bit.

But let's go to a real-life situation I witnessed just last week. As I was driving to church (20 minutes late, I might add) I was stopped at the light at Wynn Joyce and Broadway. I saw an All-American family, mom, dad, and son posting a MISSING flyer on the telephone pole (it might still be there, I'm not sure). At first I thought how sad that must be for all of them with their dog or cat missing and all, but then I looked closer at the sign. I noticed that the sign wasn't for a dog or cat. The sign was for a freakin PARAKEET. I'm NOT even kidding. WHO in their right mind thinks it's gonna be easy to find a BIRD that has gotten loose. Do they honestly think that someone will see the sign, see their bird, catch it, call the number, and give it back??? I have a hard enough time getting my own dogs back inside from my YARD. I ain't gonna try and go catch someone's pet bird; that's too difficult. Now, I think it's actually pretty cruel of the parents to let their kid think that it's bird is gonna be miraculously found... If I were them I'd go to the pet store, buy a bird that looks like the old one, and none's the wiser...

Another SAD Missing Pet sign that I saw this week was one for a dog. The description read, "MISSING DOG. Old, Blind, and Needs Medication"... I uhh, I really don't have much to say about this, just that well, I admire this person's optimism... At least they tried.

So anyway, the question is: is it OK to be optimistic all the time? Or should we really just be REALISTIC and not fool ourselves.

My REAL Name

2005-03-03T14:25:00.000-06:00

Things were much different in my life when I was a child. When I was five years old, my whole family would refer to me as “Lanny”. Now a normal person like yourself would think that this name came from some relation to my ACTUAL name or that there was some clever instance in which the name Lanny suddenly became my nickname. This however, was not the case.

One Sunday morning as we were getting ready to leave for church, my parents and siblings all loaded into the car and were waiting on me so we could go. I was still at the breakfast table trying to down the rest of my cinnamon-enriched oatmeal. Eventually after about 5 minutes of waiting, my father finally rushed into the kitchen and demanded, “Lanny, hurry up or we’re gonna be late for church!” Now, I had heard the funny names my parents would call me before but LANNY certainly wasn’t one of them. I immediately started looking around my kitchen for traces of a random construction worker or hobo named Lanny that my father must have been referring to. Once again though, my father stared me in the eyes and said “LANNY LET’S GO.”

Now, let me just say, I’m STILL five years old. I don’t know WHO the heck is Lanny, but I reluctantly follow my, at the moment, INSANE father to the car and we head on our way to church. The whole car ride I remained silent, wondering if somehow my whole life up to this point had been a lie and I really possessed the riff-raffish name of Lanny. By the time we arrived at church I had convinced myself that it was all just one of the frequent quirky jokes my father tended to play on me. However, once we got to Sunday school, he made sure he told my teacher that it was “LANNY’S fault that we’re late,” as he filled out my Lanny nametag he also added, “Feel free to punish Lanny in the manner which you feel is appropriate.”

This is the point where I had absolutely had enough. I finally turned to my dad and said, “Who in the WORLD is Lanny?! My name is ADAM. At least I THINK it is, unless I have been lied to all five years of my life on this earth!” I felt like the weight of a thousand elephants had just been lifted off of my shoulders as I released all of my anger. I mean, if anyone should have been punished at this point it should be my dad who was referring to his son Adam as a completely RANDOM, and might I add, HORRIBLE name. What came next though, truly shocked me.

After my outburst, I saw my dad’s eyes well up. This was something that I had never seen before. He even looked at me in somewhat of a scared manner. He sat me down and he also took a seat. Now let me remind you we are in a kindergarten classroom so the chair that my father sat in was only large enough for a five year old. It was quite funny to watch him try and sit comfortably on the chair but that was beside the point. He took my hand and began to tell me that my life had indeed been a complete lie. Everything that I had known to be true simply was not. He went on to tell me that when I was born, it had been my mother’s plan to name me Adam but my father wished otherwise. You see, at the age of 10, my dad had a pet turtle that he found off of I-30. He had discovered him right outside of Lanny’s Tire Company, and after he brought the disease-infested creature home, he decided to name it “Lanny”. My father added that Lanny had been abused by his previous owner, Marcie, who left her signature on Lanny’s shell with pink Sharpi… Long story short, my father changed the name on the birth certificate while my mom wasn’t watching to commemorate the life of Lanny. She found out and changed it back, but apparently my dad picked that day to have a fit about it and just start calling me Lanny.

Now, at this point I wanted to confront my dad about going behind my mom’s back in order to name me after his nasty pet turtle but I was never given the chance. As I opened my mouth to begin my second outburst, the world crashed down on me. Literally. At least it felt like it. My dad had exceeded the weight limit on the 2 foot tall chair and broke the chair causing it and HIM to crash down onto my feet. You would have thought I had just been set on fire after the screams I let out then.

I spent the next three days in the hospital suffering from two broken feet. The next three months I split my time between wheelchair, motorized cart, and crutches because I simply could not walk.

Contrary to what you may think, those old people scooters are NOT that fun either. You’d think they would be but they only go up to about 3 miles per hour. There was one time I went up to the Chambrel Retirement Home though at 1am to watch Morice and Velma Drag-Scoot. Drag-Scooting is another form of drag racing. I won $15 for betting on Velma and she then let me drive her scooter for a few minutes. Hers was sweeeet. It went all the way to 7mph. Needless to say I was a bit jealous and looking forward to the day that I’d be old enough to get into drag-scooting. Unfortunately, Morice was angry at his loss and as a result leaked the illegal racing to the police which officially ended the racing and got the 96 year old Velma 4 years in jail which, let’s face it, was basically a life sentence. I told her as I wheeled her into jail that I wouldn’t stop fighting to make drag-scooting legal until the day she died but due to her low blood pressure and food poisoning from a poorly cooked chicken breast, I stopped fighting after only about two weeks.

Ahh yes, all this a result of my name actually being Lanny. My family ended up referring to me as Lanny from then on up until just a few years ago. I guess the story’s not that interesting though…

Oscar MADNESS!

2005-02-28T16:20:00.000-06:00

In thinking about what to write about today, I couldn’t decide if I should talk about me waking up this morning and walking straight into my bathroom door, (it’s NOT fun, believe me, my face still hurts) or if I should talk about the wonder of the city that is Wacko Waco that I went to this weekend (really the only wonder Waco contains is the Dr. Pepper museum).

I finally decided to make a mini-recap of last night’s Academy Awards. For the most part, they were extremely boring. Maybe it was just me, but I wasn’t rolling on the floor laughing so hard at Chris Rock’s jokes, but then again, I’m not a rich, stuck-up, Hollywood snob so I probably wouldn’t understand those jokes.

Anyway, they lasted longer than three hours and two of those were taken up by Beyoncé’s 10,000 performances. Shortly after the show she was admitted into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most performances in any show EVER. First we were dazzled/confused by her R&B rendition of a French Boys’ choir song from The Chorus, then we were driven into depression by “Learn to be Lonely” from Phantom of the Opera, also sung by Beyoncé, and finally a duet! This one featured the great singer, Josh Groban with “Believe” from Polar Express. He actually sang the song by himself for the movie but since Beyoncé’s here anyway, why not just throw her on in?! And throw her in they did, making it her third performance of the night. Now, surely with all the effort put to getting Beyoncé to learn these songs, you’d think one of them would win, but then you’d be wrong. No no no, none of those songs won, nor did the hip Counting Crow’s song “Accidentally in Love” from Shrek 2. The song that won was of course, was the worst/WEIRDEST performance of the night. “Al Otro Lado del Rio” (which roughly translated into English means “The Polluted and Decaying River”) from the Motorcycle Diaries won the Oscar for best original song after a riveting performance from Zorro himself, Antonio Banderas. There’s not really ANYTHING I have to say about that. (PS, if you listen to the song, count how many times he says “luce” I’m trying to and so far I count about 2,000)

There were of course many other things I noticed about the Oscars, such as, WHO thought it would be a good idea to put two women (Penelope Cruz, who's career so far, that I know of, has only consisted of dating Tom Cruise, and Salma Hayek) who BARELY speak English, in charge of giving out TWO awards? It took about 15 minutes for them just to read the nominees’ names and the only words I’m PRETTY sure they said were “Best Sound Mixing” but that’s only because they were written at the bottom of the screen. Also, Prince apparently thought the fact that he didn’t know ANY of the nominees names that he was announcing was funny because he laughed the whole time he mispronounced them. Sorry Prince if you think it’s funny that other people use REAL NAMES instead of a position of royalty or a SYMBOL that you can’t even dictate at ALL…

I also thought the awards that they gave away AT the nominees’ seats were a little sad, I mean, do they think these people are too ugly to be put on stage or something? They might as well just give them the awards in a dark alley if they’re so afraid of showing them to the world. I think they’re just a little worried about how the techies will show up after director Peter Jackson from Lord of the Rings showed up to the Oscars last year like it was all-you-can-eat ribs night at Colter’s Barbeque.

I was happy for Hilary Swank and Jamie Foxx and SOOO happy that the freakin Aviator didn’t win best picture. Hilary better be glad the Academy didn’t watch her SNL before the voted because Kate Winslet might have been walkin’ home with Oscar last night instead. (PS: Kate’s sketch with Amy Poehler playing the 8 year old step daughter of RICK who wanted to get her ears pierced, is one of my all time favorites, "RIIIIICK RICK RICK RICK RICK! I don‘t wanna get my ears pierced anymore Rick…").

Oh goodness… The joy of watching millionaires award themselves with gold-plated statuettes and $100,000 gift bags…

*READERS RESPONSE QUESTION*
Disney and Pixar's The Incredibles took home the Oscar for best animated feature... I feel that Shrek 2 was robbed! What do you think? Please include your thoughts a comment... (If you even suggest that Shark Tale should have won, I will stop being your friend... If I ever was in the first place)
*END OF QUESTION*

The Real World: Austin

2005-02-16T14:47:00.000-06:00

So it turns out that the new house for MTV's "The Real World" is really just an old warehouse that they've fixed up, painted, and slapped a neon AUSTIN sign on... I figured I should take that picture since it's gonna be on TV all day long. The house, not the picture, and I could say I've been there. Not that that's a huge deal, I mean, any one can go there I suppose... Oh goodness, I'm rambling (or "flagging" as the Angry Brit would say). I think I'm just gonna go now...

Adventures in Alamo Land: The Angry Brit

2005-02-15T14:47:00.000-06:00

So everything in San Antonio wasn’t all just fun and games. There was work to be done! I definitely had day-long rehearsals that made me want to severely hurt myself. Our conductor was the Brit, Simon Carrington (www.simoncarrington.com). Simon was a former “King’s Singer” and is currently a professor of music at Yale University. Big stuff right? Well let’s just say, I didn’t like Simon too much… Before we even started rehearsing, he informed us of his extreme aversion to coughing and told us that we were to never cough in rehearsal. Yes, to never cough is to try and keep your body from properly functioning, but never-the-less he wanted us to do that. At first that rule seemed a bit much, but then when you start hearing some of the hacking coughs that people start putting out to get attention (and there were a LOT of attention-wanters there) it can get pretty annoying. So ya, I left San Antonio having a hatred for all coughers around the world. Watch out.

Also during rehearsal Simon had no limit on how many or what type of questions people could ask. This of course led to a bunch of choir losers who wanted Simon to think they were just the smartest people ever to ask HOURS AND HOURS worth of questions. Not even kidding, we would spend 2 hours answering questions on just one song. We had such intelligent questions as, “Sir, it is OBVIOUS that the altos have a forte marking on measure 47, whereas the tenors have a fortissimo marking on the same measure and I’m just not sure that we’re making the difference obvious enough.”

OK well, FIRST OF ALL, that is NOT even a question! That is an obvious statement that did not need to be said! And SECOND of all, NO ONE LIKES YOU! You aren’t cool just because you ask annoying questions!

Anyway, thank GOODNESS the people I was sitting by didn’t ask stupid and annoying questions because I would have either killed them or myself by the end of it and that would not have been pretty.* To get through the question sessions I would usually take the writing end of my pencil and stab my forehead with it to both distract myself away from the questions and to stay awake.

But anyway, back to Simon. Him, in all his Britishness would use words that I assume are British, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he made up some of them so he looked cool. He often told us to work on our music “During lunch or tea.” COME ON, he knows we don’t do tea here! Desperate to let us know you’re British much?! Oh and he also told us to let him know if he was “flagging.” This was a term that Simon used to mean “rambling or running off course.” His most favorite words though by far had to be “diminuendo” (decrescendo or get softer) and “warbling” (vibrato or crazy shaky voice). In any given minute he would usually use all of those words several hundred times each.

By far though, the most funny/sad story of the week was when the altos and the men were rehearsing a staggered entrance. The girls would come in first, followed by the guys moments later. We sang the part once, only to be stopped by Simon because one of the girls didn’t make the right entrance. We tried again, and eventually 3 more times. Each time we stopped, Simon pointed at the girl and told her not to miss her entrance again. Finally on the 5th time to sing that section, Simon stops, the whole room is quiet, he points at the girl and suddenly his face looks shocked. “OH MY GOSH,” he says, “You’re a GUY with long hair!” Whaaaaaat??? The entire choir is like, WHAT JUST HAPPENED and finally we all realize that all this time, he has been mistaking one of the guys for a girl because he had long hair. Needless to say, the boy turned bright red and Simon was completely embarrassed. Oh, he also never called on that kid again…

Oh the fun you’ll have when you put an angry British man with 250 choir nerds! There should be a reality show about that! I’m gonna get to work…

DISCLAIMER
*I would not have REALLY killed anyone (including myself), that line was used purely for effect and so you could have the full impact of the situation.
END OF DISCLAIMER

Adventures in Alamo Land: One More Reason to Hate Subway

2005-02-14T16:47:00.000-06:00

So I've decided to break up the stories from my trip to San Antonio into a series of entries rather than one really long boring one. The first story, as you can tell from the title, is about my great Subway adventure. Here it is:

Thursday night, I've just had rehearsals for the All State Choir from 9am to 9pm. Needless to say, I'm a little bit hungry. I check out all the restaurants at the mall and none of them seem appealing, mostly because NONE of them are actual franchises of restaurants, but mostly just knock off wannabes. So I head outsides in the streets of downtown San Antonio to find some food. I end up at Fuddrucker's Hamburgers and am really excited about having a good burger, but unfortunately the line is WAY too long and I only have like, 30 minutes till I have to be back for more rehearsal. So I give in and decide to go to Subway. (I say "give in" because I HATE Subway, if I ruled the world, all Subways would be Blimpies. I however, don't rule the world, but you just wait, JUST wait.) Anyway, I walk in and the line is for once, not long at all, and this makes me feel just a little bit better about having to eat there. Then, out comes the server dude. "We don't have no bread. You'll have to leave." I laughed back and him and proceeded to tell him my order. "No. We Don't Have No Bread. It'll be a couple of hours before we do, you'll have to leave." You should have SEEN the look on my face. I was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! I say, "So wait, are you trying to tell me that SUBWAY, a SANDWHICH SHOP, doesn't have bread?!" And he just rudely says back. "Ya." WELL, if that wasn't the WEIRDEST THING EVER. I was almost speechless. So I just end up leaving, and as I walk out the door I shout, "FINE! I LIKE BLIMPIE'S BETTER ANYWAY!" But I don't think they cared. I am still just astonished at the fact that Subway didn't have bread! I just can't fathom it. So ya, I called their complaint line and told the district manager who didn't seem too concerned until I told her that I knew Jarred and threatened to call him if they didn't fix their problem. She quickly apologized and then proceeded to offer me free meals. If one thing is always the same about Subways, it's that, no matter where they are, they always find the most slow and BITTER employees they can to run the store...

I never have liked Subway and this didn't help them any. It did however, leave me with a lasting memory and a good story for the blog!

Look for more Adventures in Alamo Land in the coming days featuring stories on Angry Brits, Annoying Pidgeons, and much much more!

8 Hours Was Well Worth the Wait

2005-02-06T11:47:00.000-06:00

OK so, yesterday was the Gavin DeGraw concert at the Lakewood Theater in Dallas. Me and 2 of my friends DEFINETELY got there at like, 12:30 and the doors were scheduled to open at 7:30. When we arrived, we attempted to befriend the girls who were ALREADY waiting in front of us in line. "Hey fellow Gavin fans! What time did yall get here?!" To which they very snobbishly replied, "3am... We came from the Austin concert." Apparently they thought since they had slept on the street in Dallas all night, that made them cooler than us. That was OK though, we just from then on, referred to them as the MEAN GIRLS.

Speaking of Mean Girls, we had my portable DVD player and were watching that to help us get through the long day of waiting. A couple hours into our stay in line, 2 girls that had driven 8 hours from Kansas, got behind us in line. We ended up talking to them and liking them a lot. They really liked our Texas accents and the fact that we say "Yall." It was refreshing though to have someone nice in line with us besides the MEAN girls in front of us...

Anyway, 7 hours go by and it's now 7 o' clock. Thirty minutes till the doors open, when none other but the QUEEN BEE herself arrived at the show. Apparently the MEAN girls in front of us really were the wannabees, and had been there all day to save her a spot in line. However, my group and the other 800 people behind us were not so agreeing. We began talking very loudly about how "ANNOYING IT IS TO WAIT 8 HOURS AND HAVE PEOPLE CUT IN LINE!" After about 30 minutes and 400 death stares from this girl, she finally went to the back of the line... We cheered.

Anyway, we get inside and DEFINETELY are standing on the FRONT ROW. The concert was AMAZING. He did like, every song on his CD and then played a lot more. I got to shake his hand during I Don't Wanna Be and my friend caught one of his guitar picks. Seriously, Best Concert EVER. (Besides John Mayer because well, he's amazing too) But anyway, after the show we were all EXHAUSTED because by then we had been at the theater for TWELVE hours. BUT. We didn't leave just yet, we waited around for another hour or so to MEET him. It was so cool, I got my t-shirt and CD signed and got a picture with him too. It was very nice of him to wait around after the show to meet 300 people. OH, and while we were waiting, the Mean Girl Queen Bee was ahead of us talking to him and apparently trying to give him her number. The whole time she was there we were shouting out, "She's a mean girl, a MEAN GIRL!" I don't think she liked us very much...

Ahh but anyway, the whole day was awesome, I was front row at Gavin DeGraw and got to meet him. So, to those of you who are going to the show tonight, HAVE FUN and it's AMAZING, to those of you who could/should have gone to the show, you REALLY missed out, and to those of you who don't have a clue who Gavin DeGraw is, go buy his CD, Chariot, RIGHT NOW!!!

Waiting in Line

2005-02-06T11:14:00.000-06:00

Lakewood Theater and the Coors Truck

Waiting in Line at the Concert

2005-02-06T11:12:00.000-06:00

Our Corner at the Theater... Homeless

Waiting in Line at the Concert

2005-02-06T11:10:00.000-06:00

Our Kansas Friends Carrie and Danielle

Gavin DeGraw Concert

2005-02-06T11:08:00.000-06:00

SOLD OUT

Gavin DeGraw Concert

2005-02-06T11:07:00.000-06:00

Chariot

Gavin DeGraw Concert

2005-02-06T11:04:00.000-06:00

Gavin Standing on his Piano Seat

Gavin DeGraw Concert

2005-02-06T11:02:00.000-06:00

5 Feet From Gavin

Gavin Concert

2005-02-06T11:01:00.000-06:00

I Don't Wanna Be

After the Show

2005-02-06T11:00:00.000-06:00

Me and Gavin

EVERYTHING is a Dollar

2005-02-04T15:45:00.000-06:00

I wasn't introduced to the wonder that is $1 stores until just a couple of years ago. I mean, of course I've been to Dollar General but ironically everything in there is NOT a dollar. The first time I went to Sam's $1, (by the Fiesta grocery store), it LITERALLY changed my life. They have EVERYTHING. Not kidding. You want a statue of a black Jesus? Well there's one at Sam's $1, in fact, there are like, 50. Now, how much do you think this holy statue would be? $50? $100? Noooooooo. ONE DOLLAR. That's it! EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS $1!!!! How do they do it? On my first trip to that store, I think I asked my friend how much each and every thing in the store was and they were like "IT'S ONE FREAKIN DOLLAR. WHICH IS WHY IT'S CALLED SAM'S ONE DOLLAR!" Sometimes I go in there just to get a good laugh. There's some stuff in there that I can't tell what it is at ALL but I still buy it cuz it's like the funniest thing ever. Then I just give it to someone for their birthday! One of my funnier purchases there was this bag of "Assorted Balloons." It ended up that these were like, the reject balloons that no one wanted. I pulled out balloons that were like, "Feliz Cumpleaños!!!" and others that said "HAPPY YEAR 2000!!!" (which I purchased in 2004) Then there were more balloons that were very awkwardly shaped and had ugly birds on them. Needless to say, the balloons made me happy, and were well worth the $1 my parents worked for in order to buy them.

If gift certificates existed for Sam's $1, I'd ask for them for Christmas. Not even joking. The thing about the $1 store is that they are so honest and straight-forward. For instance, the last time I was there I purchased a tray of paper like, just little cut pieces of paper to write lists and stuff on. This was OF COURSE, only a dollar, but what I liked best about it was that there was no gimmick to it. The name it had on the cover sheet was TRAY OF PAPER. There was no fancy title or pictures, it simply said TRAY OF PAPER. I also bought a blue knock-off of the LIVESTRONG bracelet (can currently be seen on my left arm weekdays from 7am-9pm and weekends 7am- 11pm) that says BE-STRONG...

Ahh yes, the Dollar store makes me happy... now, this is not to be confused with the 99 cent store. They aren't that good. Yes, everything is 99 cents, but that only makes your bill like, 10 cents cheaper depending on how much you buy, and that's just not worth giving up all the quality of the dollar store for a measley 10 cents now is it?

So anyway, just know that next time you need to get someone a really cool gift for their birthday or Christmas or something, don't waste your money at Target or Walmart, just go to Sam's $1... after all, you can buy them like, 50 things and they're really the best/FUNNIEST gifts EVER...

*MINI BONUS*
If you don't know my grandmother (who, in order to protect her identity, I will just refer to her as G-mama) you're missing out. Long ago, before settling back in Dallas, my G-mama and G-papa were explorers in the Amazon. This was of course before my dad was born. My G-mama often collected specimens in tanks and lived in her RV in the middle of the forest to get the "full rainforest experience." Now for me, the Rainforest Cafe is enough "rainforest experience" for me, I don't need to be surrounded by bugs and rabid animals to feel happy. But she and my G-papa prefered this way of living. Anyway, with the birth of my dad, things had to settle down a bit more, they had a child to raise now, a human life in their hands. So, in order to be more "normal", my G-papa insisted on moving OUT of the RV an into a real home. This resulted in the immediate building of a tree house in the middle of the forest to make things more "normal." Now, my dad didn't have a nanny or anything fancy like that, my G-parents got help from the locals there in the forest. It ended up that since the G-parents had to go out and explore a lot, my dad was raised by gorillas. I know, funny right? RAISED BY GORILLAS! HE MUST BE TARZAN! But that's just not true, the gorillas had more of an Indian name for him. "Funny White Boy" they would call him. Sadly enough my father didn't realize that they were making fun of him by calling him this, so he just went along with it.

Anyway, to make a long story short, my father was raised by monkeys. But that's not the really important part. My G-parents finally REALLY settled down when they moved into a house in Euless, the only catch though to moving was that my G-papa had to promise my G-mama that she could have a pond in the backyard. She didn't tell him that it was for the BABY ANACONDA that she smuggled into the United States claiming it was her "newborn" and strategically covering it up on the plane with children's clothing and by reading it stories. (She claims it wasn't bad since she saw Lucy do it on I Love Lucy with a giant piece of cheese. Apparently she doesn't know the difference between an anaconda and cheese...) So ya, the anaconda has gotten bigger and bigger and currently wraps around the house 4 times and can't really move. But it wouldn't hurt a fly! It's really sad when all the representation anacondas get are these horrible movies about them killing people and eating them and junk... I mean, there was one time when my cousin got bit, but she only lost one leg, she can still walk and everything, no biggie...
*END OF BONUS*

GET LOST

2005-01-11T14:25:00.000-06:00

OK yall, I am truly sorry for it taking so long for me to make a new post. I'm sure it's been hard on everyone and I take all of the blame. I realized that without me, yall would have no one to tell you what shows to watch, what music to listen to, and what food to eat. Basically without me, you'd be dead. (If I'm just being honest)

First on the agenda is TV. I just started watching the ABC show LOST. And I'll be the first to tell you, I WAS A SKEPTIC TOO. I mean seriously, how could a show about people being lost on an island be any good? It's like Gilligan's Island all over again and we all know that we don't need that to happen... But seriously, LOST is so good. It's about all these people and their plane crashes, leaving them on an island. But since their plane lost its signal long before they crashed, they could go on forever without being found. Now the catch to the show is that it may or may NOT be real. That is to say, we don't know if they are all still living, if this is their after life or that this is all some fantasy Truman Show-like land. I know, I know, it's probably difficult for you to understand but it's worth giving it a try. LOST can be seen Wednesday on ABC.

MUSIC. Well, since THE WORLD has bought tickets (you better have gotten them by now since they're SOLD OUT) you all probably know that my music recommendation is none other than Gavin Degraw. If you are unsure as to who this is, he sings I Don't Wanna Be which is playing on KISS FM right now (literally, they never stop playing it) and it is also the theme song to the WB's One Tree Hill. I'll be FRONT ROW at the concert! You better believe it. Also, go buy his CD, Chariot, in stores now.

AND LASTLY: FOOD. YALL. SERIOUSLY. Jack in a Box MONSTER TACOS are SO GOOD. If you haven't had them, RUN to Jack in a Box NOW. I had them for lunch today and they are MY LIFE. I used to NEVER eat at Jack in a Box because well, all of the lawsuits about people dying from eating there kinda scared me (don't worry, this was many a year ago). But now, I eat there all the time, the tacos at least.

*MINI BONUS*
I haven't taken the time yet to address the NEW Ashlee Simpson issue frankly, because Ashlee Simpson barely deserves to even be NOTICED for what she does now. At first it was like, WOAH SHE CANT SING (on her reality show), then it was WOAH SHE LIP SANC (SNL), and now it's like DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY "WOAH SHE CANT SING AND GOT BOOED BY 80,000 PEOPLE AT A LIVE PERFORMANCE NOT TO MENTION THE 20 MILLION WATCHING ON TV"??? (Orange Bowl) Seriously Ashlee, the world is over you. We DON'T want to know your autobiography, so we probably won't be asking you. We don't care if you're living in Jessica's shadow, that's the way it should be. And lastly, you don't, and never will, make us want to la la. Nope. It's just not gonna happen. So please Ashlee, on behalf of me, and the other 6 billion people in this world, PLEASE stop singing. Or lip syncing. Or running around on stage holding a microphone. Or, well, WHATEVER it is that you do.
*END OF BONUS*

Adios 2004!!! Bienvenidos 2005!

2004-12-31T12:30:00.000-06:00

Let's be honest; 2004 has brought us some pretty darn good times. One of the greatest was the birth of this very blog! Yes yes yes I've had some good times. But all great things must come to an end. (No, the blog's not going away, the year's ending) And for some reason, when New Year's rolls around all of these countdowns start popping out of no where. So I have taken it upon myself to countdown the Top 10 blog entries of 2004. If you're just now joining us in the blog, well, you're crazy but this is your time to catch up on what you've missed! So Here We Go!

10. Whitey Mcwhite and the Tale of Big Larry: http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/10/whitey-mcwhite.html

9. Mean Girls and the Tale of Alfredo:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/09/mean-girls.html

8. Super Madness and the Tale of Super Saver:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/09/super-madness.html

7. For everything in life, there is purpose and the Tale of fire ants EATING MY FLESH:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/09/for-every-thing-in-life-there-is.html

6. Acceptance is the first step and the Tale of CRAZY inflatable gorillas:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/09/acceptance-is-first-step.html

5. Shark Attack:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/08/shark-attack.html

4. Death of a Salesman:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/08/death-of-salesman.html

3. Do you have a grudge?:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/11/do-you-have-grudge_01.html

2. I Adam, take you, Enchilada...:
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/08/i-adam-take-you-enchilada.html

And the number one spot OF COURSE goes to one of my most memorable moments in all of my life:

1. Belle Ball and the DEMON ARM!!!
http://ruckerblog.blogspot.com/2004/12/belle-ball-and-tale-of-eddie-lucky-x_05.html

I hope you've all enjoyed and we'll see you in '05!

Countdown to Christmas and Animal INVASION!

2004-12-18T10:45:00.000-06:00

OK so we all know that Christmas time is here. To be exact: there are only 7 more days until Christmas day! Crazy, I know. Of course I've done absolutely no shopping whatsoever and I haven't really gotten all into the Christmas mood, so to speak, yet. Never-the-less, I did attend a Christmas reunion party last night that officially ROCKED my socks off.

I must say the highlight of the party (besides the "Remember When" box, that was awesome) was what happened when I told the story of the animal in my attic.

First let me give you a little background info: yesterday me and my sister woke up to *SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCHING* coming from the ceiling. So, naturally we followed the noise that was coming from over our heads around the house to see where it was coming from. OF COURSE, it ended up that it, whatever it was, was making noise from atop my bathroom. It sounded however, like it was stuck between two walls. So anyway, immediately noticing that the air vent and hole for the light fixture in the ceiling would be amazing passageways for this rabid animal (I assume that any animal is rabid just to be safe, and it does add to the effect of the story) to come into my house. So I get all of my stuff out of the bathroom and shut the door just incase this thing decides to fall through the ceiling.

SO. I'm telling all the people about how we got to listen to this animal clawing for its life all day my behind the door in my bathroom, but say that I'm not sure WHAT animal it is. One of my friends responded with "it's either rats or squirrels." This comment prompted another person to respond with "RATCHET SQUIRRELS?!" Yes, they were serious... THE ROOM ERUPTS. Immediately we begin to imagine little squirrels walking around the attic with ratchets in their hands with a very deep bass voiceover saying, "RATCHET SQUIRRELS: Breaking in and tightening all the screws in the house." Ohhh... that was fun.

The rest of the night, and SERIOUSLY it was the ENTIRE rest of the night, we played the ever-so-popular Mafia card game. WOW that was wonderful.

Anyway, if you feel like spreading the Christmas cheer around to me, feel free to go out shopping and buy me a gift! YAY

*MINI BONUS*
The Rucker household HAS purchased, and the key word is PURCHASED, a Christmas tree! The only catch is that it has not made it into the house yet. Due to the THREE HOUR APPRENTICE FINALE we did not have time to set it all up. Which, by the way, I was very upset by who won the Apprentice. Kelly was just too stiff and shy to me. He ended the show by saying, "When Mr. Trump said I had won, I couldn't contain myself." And I forgot when "couldn't containing yourself" meant: sitting with perfect posture and having virtually no facial or vocal reactions to winning a $250,000 job with Donald Trump. But maybe that's just me...
*END OF BONUS*

Belle Ball and The Tale of Eddie "Lucky" X-terra

2004-12-05T20:16:00.000-06:00

It all started on a cool winter night. I arrived at a friend's house for pictures (where I was to meet my date for the drill team's Winter dance, which is known to most as "Belle Ball") at 5:30. People slowly stagger in with their dates, all asking me why I'm there because at that moment, my date was missing. You see, I had a show just a few minutes earlier and so we had agreed to meet at pictures. Unfortunately my date wasn't ready so I got to sit and watch 10 other couples take pictures while I twiddled my thumbs and played Snake on my phone. Finally my date arrived about 40 minutes late and we all get on our way to the dance in downtown Dallas.

I had another couple riding with us in the back seat and we had a wonderful time just yelling back and forth at each other as they all tried to tell me how to switch lanes. After about an hour of making our way through traffic and shady downtown streets, we made it into the parking garage and then up to the 69th floor of the great green building in downtown. I like to call it THE BIG GREEN.

BLAH BLAH BLAH. We ate dinner and got our grooves on at the dance floor. My favorite dance happened to be Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This"... So like, the WHOLE night I hadn't won any door prizes and then finally right before we left I won a Jim Jeffcoat autographed football (which you will soon be able to find on Ebay!). I think every single person that was still at the dance managed to come up to me and tell me again (as if I didn't already know) that I don't even know who Jim Jeffcoat is... That statement could not have been less true, he is a terrific NASCAR driver and I root for him every race... or is that JEFF Gordon. I don't know, Jeff something drives a car.

AND THEN, all the fun began. So we're leaving right? I'm at the parking garage exit and the couple in front of me (who shall remain nameless, but the girl is the drill team director's daughter... whoops! Have I said too much?!) can't get their ticket to be accepted to open the arm for them to leave. So I, being the good samaritan that I am, accept their idea of me putting in MY ticket, and us both going through the arm at the same time... Needless to say I hadn't really thought through this very much when I accepted the idea.

Long story short, I put the ticket in, they speed through, I gun it and TRY to speed through and as I'm going under the arm I hear, *CLUNK*CLUNK*DRAAAAAAAAAAG*SCRAPE* on the roof of my car...

WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Needless to say, I'm FREAKING out and tell one of the other kids in the car to look at the damage the DEMON ARM has done before I do. He gets out and looks and says that nothing's wrong, just some marks on the bike rack. (This after it sounds like a mad cow has just crashed down on my roof) I'm like WHAAAAAT?! So I get out and look and sure enough, nothing is wrong. The BIKE RACK saved my life.

SO, the moral of the story is: WATCH OUT FOR DEMON ARMS and don't try and get two cars through them at one time. If you do try it, make sure you're in an X-terra with a bike rack!

*MINI BONUS*
Shortly after I got back home from the dance, I found out that I had two tickets to get through the gate with and basically am just an idiot.
*END OF BONUS*

Looking for Something?

2004-11-25T22:45:00.000-06:00

So guys, HOW WAS YOUR THANKSGIVING??? Mine I must say was quite wonderful. I spent the day at the house with the familia watching the parade, cooking lunch, and making Christmas lists... hehe. But ya, the turkey this year was wonderful and honestly made me quite sleepy.

The highlight of my day though (and also the inspiration for this entry's title) was me and the fam going to see Finding Neverland. Finding Neverland is about the writer and creator of Peter Pan (and don't worry, Michael Jackson does not make any appearances). It's a very, VERY good movie. I wasn't quite sure what to expect going into it but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Anyway, I'm not gonna spoil anything for you (I HATE when people do that) BUT GO SEE IT.

Last night I saw Christmas With the Kranks which was a good holiday movie. Although it was my second choice to The Polar Express in IMAX 3D which was sold out EVEN THOUGH we arrived at the theater a whole freakin HOUR early... Ticked me off. So ya, since I refused to see National Treasure (because, let's be honest, no one can top The Da Vinci Code and this was an OBVIOUS Da Vinci wannabe or what I call, Dawannabe... OK maybe that wasn't so funny but at least I tried) we saw Christmas With the Kranks. Based on the best-selling novel, Skipping Christmas by John Grisham, (currently available where all books are sold and the coffee table in my living room) 'Kranks' deals with a family who chooses to, you guessed it, SKIP Christmas. Once again, I won't be spoiling anything for those of you avid movie goers out there, but I will say that by the end of the movie you'll wish Frosty the Snowman never existed. And notice how Enrique, the boyfriend, only has an accent when he says his name: Enrique de Santa Cruz KLJASKJDIOJAWD (the random letters represent the rest of his name that was spoken so quickly that I couldn't understand it).

WOW. I just remembered that awful movie, Jack Frost, about a boy whose dad dies and is reincarnated as a snowman. Now, I never did see this movie but REALLY how good could it possibly be??? Next thing you know people will be coming back as Giga Pets and Tamagotchis...

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving and is ready for the countdown to Christmas! Exactly one month till the big DAY O' GIFTS!!! WOOHOO!!!

GO FIND NEVERLAND!

*MINI BONUS*
Last night on the way to see Polar Express, I was disappointed to hear all of my friends tell me that I would not be a good teacher. I respect their opinion, but must disagree. You see, they based their decision on an in-car reading of The Polar Express, which I KINDLY offered to do. So here I am, very low lighting, attempting to read a Christmas classic and give it all of it's wonder by adding special elf and conductor voices, while they're goofing off, asking questions, and asking me to show them the pictures... OF COURSE I'm gonna get upset! Why ask questions?! There's nothing confusing about a mysterious train popping out of no where to steal kids from their homes and take them to the North Pole! So automatically that means I'd be a bad teacher?! Apparently they didn't think me telling the kids to "zip it and hold all questions until the story is finished" would be proper... Whatever... I'll show you! I'm gonna be the best kindergarten teacher there every was! HA!
*END OF BONUS*

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like TUUUUURKEY

2004-11-19T15:00:00.000-06:00

There's nothing like the aroma of fresh turkey and deviled eggs. And what else could add to all of that but the sight of cranberry sauce that's still in the shape of the can?! Now, granted I don't LIKE cranberry sauce, but I still think it's funny to see it. BTW if you get the chunky cranberry sauce you're a freak.

But seriously, I like Thanksgiving but I honestly don't like most of the food. I like the turkey, but I've heard FRIED turkey is AMAZING so I've always wanted to try that. But as far as the stuffing/dressing goes, I'll pass.

WHAT IS THANKSGIVING? You ask? Well I'll tell you. It's when the Native Americans met with the pilgrims and they all had a big "fiesta". Yes, I say fiesta because it makes me laugh if I visualize them hitting piñatas and playing mariachi music all while giving thanks for the existance of corn. But yes. March 16, 1621 is the day when the Indian, Samoset, first introduced himself to the Pilgrim imigrants. Along with Squanto, Samoset taught the Pilgrims the basics of living; they taught them how to plant corn, get sap from maple trees, and pick plants for medicines. The Pilgrims responded by teaching the Indians well, nothing. The Pilgrims simply mooched off of their newly found friends and were ALMOST completely worthless (like the unwanted relative that comes and lives with you "just for a little while" but ends up staying forever and in the Indians case, taking over the ENTIRE country). It wasn't until mid-October that the Thanksgiving celebration or "fiesta" took place in which the Pilgrims invited the Native Americans to come and eat all of the food that they had planted. The Pilgrims were thankful for all that they had learned from their friends and that they just saved 15% on their car insurance by switching to Geico. This celebration lasted for THREE WHOLE DAYS! WHEW...

Anyway. What are YOU thankful for? This coming week is the time that you get to be thankful for all that you have! And now that I think about it. A Thanksgiving Fiesta sounds PRETTY DARN FUN to me! I think I'll start that up this year! FIESTA EVERYONE!

Out of the Woods

2004-11-12T18:40:00.000-06:00

OK so last weekend was definetely an adventure for me. Let me tell you I haven't been so in touch with my "wild" side before (HAHA. Wild as in dangerous animals lurking and mysterious noises in the woods.)

A bunch of us went camping at Lake Texoma for a little retreat and got there on Friday night. When we pulled up I thought we were on the set of Survivor. It was like full of tiki torches and I was afraid I would be the first voted off (however because it was church-related there were no elimations) . The girls' tent was already set up. Lucky them. The guys had to set up our own tents. Which was fine, we really had an advantage over them because I was so experienced in camping... So like, I go over to where we're supposed to set up the tents and my friend and I find ourselves just staring at everyone else doing the work. So finally I say, "Just let us know what to do and we'll do it." I'm pretty sure we were THE worst tent-setter-uppers EVER. We tried to feed the poles through the loops and everything and it just didn't work so we went elsewhere. Then we came back later to make sure that the rest of them had finished what we had started. Sure enough, NO TENT. Apparently we had actually RIPPED the tent covering when we were putting the poles through causing them to have to get ANOTHER tent.

ANYWAY. Forget the whole tent issue. It's over; done. So we spend the night by the campfire singing Kumbyah and finally hit the tent around 12:30 for some good sleep. Except my tent stayed up until 2 in the morning telling horrible New York City stories. The one that sticks out most in my mind was someone who ended their trip by going to the Olive Garden and then throwing up in the elevator with people they didn't know because of the strong smell of "cleaning product."

Let me tell you how my sleep went. I THINK it was about 50 degrees BELOW zero. It might have been, no I take that back, it was THE coldest EVER. The only thing that saved me that night from LITERALLY freezing to death was my homemade Harry Potter scarf. Seriously. Saved my life. So like, half way through the night, I'm woken up by this HORRIBLE howling. Literally EVERY DOG IN THE WORLD was barking. There were coyotes, wolverines, rabid dingos, chihuahuas. EVERYTHING was barking and I almost screamed. Luckily I had some Excedrin on hand and that problem was saved.

The next morning I had some wonderful pancakes with about a pound of butter. Seriously I don't know what was in me; I think it was the dog thing. Then some of us went out for a little run. I was of course at the back of the pack THE whole time, heaving in loads of freezing cold air, causing my throat to hurt for the next 4 hours. Later we went on our HIKE!!! WOOHOO! It was awesome. Although I'm still not very sure WHERE we were going. I played tour guide the whole way with my walkie talkies. Everyone seemed to like it, they were laughing the whole time... Unless they were laughing because I drove them insane. Hmm... We went to the lake and skipped rocks for seriously, 3 hours. It was wonderful. Also, throwing boulders into the lake in order to splash and drench your friends is also very rewarding.

The next night was the same as the first. I got to bed a little earlier, only to be woken by the wild dingos earlier. That was fun. Then we woke up and had some goooooood breakfast burritos and then had to pack up camp. I'm pretty sure they told me just to stay away from the whole tent area so I didn't cause another "situation".

Over all I had a wonderful time on this trip. I must have said a THOUSAND times on this trip, "I wish this was a reality show." Because seriously, it would have been the funniest EVER.

Riff Raff

2004-11-08T14:40:00.000-06:00

Don't tell me you've never thought about what Disney character you would be if you could. Well, let me tell you, I have. There are so many to choose from.

I mean, the most obvious one for me to be is Hercules, but that'd be a little egotistical of me. Another is Pinocchio but that kid was crazy, let's face it, he was a talking puppet and that is just disturbing. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is just mean, and the Beast is well, gross. Simba from The Lion King has to much stuff to take care of with all the hyenas and other animals wreaking havoc and I just couldn't handle the stress. Plus my skin doesn't tan very well so you can imagine how burned I'd be in that hot African sun day in and day out. And I didn't even consider any of the characters from the Disney and Pixar movies because I really would like the challenge of living in a two dimensional world. So that leaves only one more person I could be. Aladdin.

Aladdin's just cool. After all, he has his own self-titled movie, along with like, 50 sequels and also has a special edition DVD available right now! But seriously, the kid has nothing at first right? Then all of a sudden he gets a genie, becomes a prince, and has a flying carpet. If anything, I'd be Aladdin just for the flying carpet. He also has a very special lady friend, Jasmine. But the coolest part EVER would be having his pet monkey, Abu. He's just the coolest ever. I've always wanted a pet monkey, although from what I can tell in the movie, Abu's pretty greedy, self-centered and is VERY irritable.

There are some drawbacks though to having all these things that Aladdin has. I'd like having the genie there with me to do stuff for me, but all the singing songs and changing bodies would really get to me and probably rack up my Excedrin bill. And I noticed that that rug has an ATTITUDE. It gets all upset when Aladdin doesn't take him with him and has this sad puppy face look as it walks off. Aladdin was dumb enough to take the carpet with him anyway. But I guess he had no choice, camels are slow and gas prices are outrageous now.

Geez. Maybe I DON'T want to be Aladdin... No, no I really think it would be fun. I just wouldn't want to have to face off against a giant Jeffar snake and I'd have to keep myself from burning the carpet, locking up the genie, and abandoning the monkey. Ehh... Maybe I'll just have to forget the whole two-dimension thing and just be Bullseye, the horse in Toy Story 2.

Do You Have a Grudge?

2004-11-01T16:00:00.000-06:00

I know I do. You better hope it's not against you otherwise watch out for black cats and creepy Asian boys wanting to kill you. No, I didn't give away any of the movie, but let me just say, it's CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY. And PLEASE whatever you do, don't go up in your dark attic when you hear weird noises.

Thinking back on my life, I do have a few grudges and here's who they're against and why:

1) The cafeteria lady at Kimberlin Elementary who told me that the rolls there were "artificial" after I commented on how awkwardly shiny they were.

2) A girl in my pre-school class who bit my arm after I POLITELY asked her if I could get in front of her in line to talk to my friend.

3) Star Search who didn't think I was good enough to be on their show... Maybe it wouldn't have been CANCELLED if I was on it... Or maybe I should feel worse about NOT getting on a show that was so bad that it got cancelled...

4) The cast of FRIENDS because they all quit on me.

5) AOL for flooding my mail with an insane amount of CDs.

6) Wal-Mart because Super Target's better

7) Ken Jennings (the guy who NEVER loses on Jeopardy) for being so FREAKIN smart.

8) AMC Mesquite 30 Movie Theater for being the worst place on earth

9) The Cat in the Hat movie because it's honestly the WORST movie ever made.

And last but CERTAINLY not least:

10) Ashlee Simpson for existing.

These are just a FEW of my grudges. I bet if you sat down and thought about it, you'd realize that you probably have a lot of grudges too!

Action Figure!

2004-10-27T14:55:00.000-05:00

In recent days I've been asked about what the Adam Rucker Action Figure would look like if it could have anything I wanted on it. I mean, I don't know, I haven't really thought of it that much, but here's some stuff just off the top of my head:

My helmet would double as a chip bowl to hold tortilla chips. (The bottom of the bowl would also serve as a flour and corn tortilla warmer)
I would also have some sort of armor suit, but nothing too form-fitting like Spiderman, that's a bit much for me.
I would TOTALLY have Spiderman's webslingers though, I mean, being able to just swing around to anywhere you want is like, totally awesome. I would also like the benefits of being able to tie up people you don't like. (Maybe this is more what I'd lke in real life as I just realized it's not possible to use an action figure to swing around from building to building)
It would also have an internal cell phone, you know, where all restaurants' phone numbers are pre-programed into it. This would be useful in quick to-go order runs and other important things like that.
The action figure would also have a built-in Tivo. TiVo changed my life and we all know that. EVERYONE should have it, so I'm offering it with my action figure.
It would also be a flashlight because honestly, we all need flashlights sometimes
There would be a string in the back that played John Mayer, Coldplay, and Maroon 5 when pulled.

The action figure would be sold for the ever popular price of only $19.95 and come with a free set of SPACE BAGS (as seen on TV!) and a coupon for free chips and hot sauce. And if you think about that, getting a TiVo AND all of that for only $20 is a REALLY good deal. I would buy like, 30. You should totally get that as Christmas presents for all of your friends...

wow... WOW

2004-10-24T00:45:00.000-05:00

OK yall, this blog was worth staying up late to write. I must just say, I Tivoed SNL tonight. I haven't watched the skits but I watched Ashlee Simpson "perform". Let me just set the scene for you. Host Jude Law says, "Ladies and gentlemen, ASHLEE SIMPSON!!!" The band begins playing Pieces of Me. On stage we see Ashlee hopping from side to side and then we hear, "On a Monday, I am waiting..." BUT WAIT... PICK UP THE PHONE AND HOLD IT! I forgot when mics picked up your voice when your mouth was closed and the mic wasn't anywhere near your head! Oh wait, that's right, they CAN'T work like that. She wasn't even holding the mic up. All of a sudden she's just looking around as if she's really confused. So what else does she do? START HOPPING AGAIN! WHY NOT?! Then we hear more cutting in and out of her vocals without her singing them until finally she just WALKS off the SNL stage and a picture of Jude Law is plastered on the screen until they can cut to commercial...

BRITNEY SPEARS at least MOVES her mouth when she doesn't sing. I mean seriously. I'm glad to be a successful singer in America you just need to have a computer sing a song and then hop up and down on the stage while they play it. Can anyone say MILLI VINILLI MUCH?! Poor poor Ashlee... I think that's enough to just lead to her ruin. Very Quickly. Hopefully...

I guess that's my problem. I think when I sing for people I'll just play a really good song and run around on the stage. That'll please the crowds.

It's Not Easy To Be Me

2004-10-18T21:30:00.000-05:00

SO. I've been watching the series SMALLVILLE on DVD to trying and catch up on what can be considered a very popular teen drama. I'm actually pretty surprised that I hadn't seen it before because let's face it, I've seen EVERY TV show ever made...

But anyway, the whole Clark Kent/Superman thing is just very intriguing to me. It makes me wonder if I myself would like to be a superhero. I mean, let's face it, I already have the physique for it, I just need to be indestructable. I decided that if I were a superhero, it would be a mixture of qualities from the most popular superheros... I would have the strength of Superman, with the webslingers of Spiderman. You see, Superman can run fast and lift things and all that great stuff, but Spiderman, I mean, he can swing from buildings and like, tie up people. That's just awesome... Now thinking about it, I'd also like the Bat Mobile. Let's face it, everyone needs a good car, and I would totally be most popular when I pulled the Bat Mobile into the school parking lot... I wouldn't want that nasty bat thing shining in the sky when they needed me though, they'd have to text message me or just get like, a picture of chips and hot sauce to shine in the sky to signal me.

I could totally handle being a superhero. I wonder what my name would be... I'm thinking something to do with TV Boy or Foodman. I'm open to all suggestions.

Along the lines of the whole superhero theme, the new Pixar movie coming out is called THE INCREDIBLES. It BETTER be good. I mean, Nemo was AMAZING and so was the Toy Story series, so I can only hope that this one will be really good too. But ya, I'm still a little confused as to what it's all about. I'm just hoping it's not like those cheesy Disney Channel Original Movies about superhero families... Those are pretty lame.

PS: Jack and Bobby is another goooooood WB show.

*MINI BONUS*
Seriously yall, riding in a car with one of your parents (the specific parent that this story is about shall remain confidential) when they blatantly run a red light IN FRONT of a police officer, MIGHT be THE funniest thing EVER... However, it only remains funny if you don't get pulled over. Thank goodness we didn't.

Looks like we got lucky mom! Wait, whoops... I think I said too much.
*END OF BONUS*

SURPRISE SURPRISE / Liger Lover

2004-10-15T14:15:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am now PROUD to announce the NEW location of Rucker Blog!!! You can now reach the blog anytime you want by going to www.bestblogever.com

That's right, new location, same GREAT blog! WOOHOO!!!
PS: You can also go to www.ruckerblog.com for the same thing. YESSSSSSSSS

And now the Second part of today's Double Issue:

You might have gotten to see me today, I was the nerdy one walking down the hall with an "I LOVE LIGERS" t-shirt (Ligers are Napoleon's favorite animal in Napoleon Dynamite if you're one of the 2 people in this world that hasn't seen that movie). I must say it was wonderful going back to my roots for a whole day at school for Nerd Out Naaman Day. I mean I had the whole thing going, my hair was parted at one side and slicked over (complete with an Alfalfa-inspired clump of hair sticking up in the back). I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Especially when people had NO idea it was me and then after about 5 seconds they would realize who it was and then die laughing. Shortly after the laugh they would have this confused look on their face as if they had no idea that today was nerd day which then made me feel REALLY stupid. I was actually pretty worried that my friend that told me it was nerd day was just playing a REALLY mean joke on me. I mean, I didn't want to get to school and be the ONLY one dressed nerdy, but then again, that wouldn't be very out of the ordinary...

Several of my friends enjoyed my hair because that's how I wore it from 1st-7th grade. I mean, YES FOLKS, I'm truly a nerd at heart. I also had the really high jeans and Napoleon snow boots thanks to a very courteous friend that lent them to me. The snow boots were size 9 and I'm definetely a size 13, but the toe-crampage was TOTALLY worth it. Yes yes, all I was missing was a fannypack (which I dearly regretted when I realized that I had forgotten to wear one). And to complete the transformation, I had the staple of the nerd, masking-taped glasses. I must say it was a truly FREAKIN AWESOME day being that big of a nerd, but definetely the second I walked out of the school my shirt came untucked, the glasses came off, my hair became messed up again, and the snow boots came STRAIGHT off.

BTW, to all of the people that walked by me as if they didn't notice my unique attire and then waited till they were about 3 feet past me to laugh: This was your one day TO laugh right in my face... guess you missed your chance!

Hit Me Baby One More Time

2004-10-14T14:35:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all you faithful readers out there (or 10 of you that repeatedly click your refresh button to see how high you can get on the counter) my blog has officially reached 1,000 hits and CLIMBING!!! Woohoo. So I thought, what better way to celebrate than reminisce about the past. I now present the Best of Ruckerblog...

Death of a Salesman:
"If they want to be all buddy buddy with me then they need to give me their employee discount and they're free to act like my friend (just so long as they don't actually try and talk to me). "

Shaping the Way We Live:
"And Freed's Furniture. I'm sorry, but no one goes to Freed's. It's that old ugly brown box building off of the highway. And if you notice in the commercials, it is the SAME lady that walks through the building every time which obviously means she wasn't satisfied with what she had bought before or it just fell apart on delivery."

The Simple Life:
"I can't say that I enjoy canoe-type boats as much as motor boats and jet skis because it's obvious, canoes take some sort of effort. Not that I don't like to expend energy, but these days energy is so scarce that it might not be in our best interest to waste it on simply rowing across a lake when you could easily have a motor do it."

Goo Gone is MY LIFE:
"Such phrases as "Tivo Stinks" and "Tivo Sucks" were written on my car at the SAME TIME. Then today I pleasantly woke up to find "Go back to Mexico. Arriba!" on my car... Anyway, forget the fact that this is completely bizarre, after this I discovered the wonder of Goo Gone. I had used Goo Gone before to get duct tape residue off of my car and was very satisfied, however I had no idea that it would also work wonders on shoe polish. I spent about 20 minutes scrubbing with water and soap to get the writing off, however that did not work. So I found my Goo Gone, gave it a spray on the window, and literally, the polish came off with the gentle wipe of a rag. I am very pleased with Goo Gone, and you will be too. GO BUY SOME!!!"

Gettin DIRRTY!!!:
"We must have spent 10 minutes discussing the differences between mulch, top soil, and compost. Incase you don't know what each of these is: mulch is a combination of bark substances or wood chips that create a nice visual effect on the top of a garden, top soil is just plain dirt, and compost basically a pile of trash that after weeks and weeks of rotting becomes good soil that you can plant from. However it was decided that although a compost pile may produce desirable soil, the smell from it may negate the positives about it."

Shark Attack!:
"Surely enough, the DEAD snake with NO HEAD starts pulling up it's headless neck at us! I'm pretty sure I just screamed really loud when this happened. Then I realized that a dead, headless snake can do NOTHING to harm you. So we got back to the cabin just fine. I mean really though, how embarrassing would that be to say that you got bit by a snake with no head."

Mean Girls:
"Toward the end of the meal, we see this man staring at us through the glass partition by the door. Just, staring. Then, he proceeded to press his face against the glass like a 4 year old child (this caused some kids at the table to laugh, which unfortunately only encouraged him more). This man wouldn't stop, he then started to lick the window with his face was against it as we were waiving our silverware at him to scare him away. All of this is finally stopped as a woman walks up and goes, "ALFREDO! What are you doing?!" It reminded me of the Full House episode where DJ brings home an old guy from the nursing home without signing him out and then he ends up judging the neighborhoods dog competition where first prize wins a Pooper Scooper..."

What is the WORLD Coming To?!:
"But seriously, here we have this woman who's never done anything wrong but help you waste money on Taiwanese-made goods from K-Mart, and she's going to JAIL! I can not IMAGINE what it will be like for her. I mean seriously, SERIOUSLY. She has so many decisions to make before she gets there. I mean, what count linens should she bring? What colors would best accent the features of her room, I mean, cell. I can't help but imagine all of the grief she will go through every day, they'll probably all make her do their laundry. Heck, I would if Martha moved in next to me. I'd have her cookin, cleanin, and making lots of those sculptures out of watermelons. "

Come back tomorrow for a FREAKIN AWESOME suprise that I will be announcing!!! WOOHOO!

SAY CHEESE!

2004-10-12T16:30:00.000-05:00

OK honestly, one of the scariest moments in life is taking school pictures. Don't laugh, you TOTALLY know it is. I mean first of all, almost every time I've had a school picture taken, I had NO idea that it was gonna be on that day. SO of course, I get my pictures back and I'm like, wearing a choir t-shirt and my hair looks like I just exploded something toxic on it in chemistry. And second of all, for that few seconds, the entire world (or library at least) is watching you as you break a smile.

So anyway, let me get to the main story. Today I'm taking my senior picture for the yearbook. I already look like an idiot with half of a tux shirt on and a size 50 jacket drowning me. I go sit in the first of TWO areas to take pictures in and the lady fiddles with my jacket for about 2 minutes until finally she backs away and begins to take the picture. OK, everything's fine right? We spend the next 3 minutes moving my legs from side to side so they will be JUST SO for the picture, I mean, it was one of those swively chairs so I was just spinning in circles (which I think was beginning to make her mad). Anyway, so once you're angled right, you still have to get your head correct. So she makes me look right, angle my head up to the left, and turn my eyes into the camera... TRY DOING THAT, it's NOT natural. So I'm sure in my picture I have this like, really awkward look on my face mixed in with a little bit of pain-face because my neck was like, twisted around. WHEW, so one picture down, 4 more to go.

So I go to the next station for my picture. The first one was really easy, I just looked straight at the camera and smiled. The next three were a complete nightmare. You can ask pretty much ANYONE in the school because it felt like there were about 200 people watching me (there really were). So like, I was supposed to look serious in these pictures... ME, SERIOUS? RIIIIGHT... SO like, I'm sitting there with everyone watching me, trying to look angry I guess. I'm not really sure what "serious" means, I took it on the angry end of the definition rather than the seriously-considering-an-idea end. (I always smile in pictures because I don't know, I guess I don't think i'm "cool" enough to do the "cool guy" angry look) So anyway, I'm kinda frowning, waiting for him to take the picture until finally I like, break a smirk and the camera guy snaps at me and tells me not to smile. So I try again, and this time I just break out laughing. So I think I'm actually laughing in all the pictures because the guy was getting tired of waiting on me.

All in all it took me like, 15 minutes to take pictures that should have taken 2 minutes. And believe me, it was a very LONG 15 minutes. At least I seemed to entertain everyone in there. But anyway, that's just me! The FREAK Show!!!

Whitey McWhite

2004-10-10T10:10:00.000-05:00

OK so I've come to the conclusion that I just might be THE whitest person on earth (both in skin tone and behavior). Case and point: last night I'm leaving Ladder 49 (gooooooood movie by the way) and see a poster of Kenan Thompson for his new movie and proceed to go "HEEEY HEEEY HEEEY!"... Mistake number 1. Then I'm asked, "What is that from?" To which I answer, "BIG LARRY!!!"... Mistake number 2. Now, I've done some stupid things in my days, but the fact that I turned FAT ALBERT into BIG LARRY is just WOW... WOW. We all then proceeded to laugh like hyenas in front of everyone.

Anyway, so after the movie, we're all going back to my car and see this picture of like a 10 year old hispanic boy who's trying to look major gangsta, but not pulling it off. We then took the picture out of the rainy water, and named him BIG LARRY. You can see Big Larry's picture any time at my car, just ask the dummy, Charles, who sits in the back seat and he'll be glad to help you. If you haven't met Chaz, he's a pretty cool guy. Some would say he's kinda standoffish but that's really just because he is unable to move his neck, and well, he's an INANIMATE object...
(PS: if anyone has any dummy arms lying around Charlie would love to try them on to see if they fit.)

If you need any more reason as to why I'm the whitest ever, just watch me play Dance Dance Revolution sometime (PS, BEST GAME EVER) and you'll totally understand. Seriously yall, my legs flail about as if independent from my body. And also the way I'm move my arms make it seem like I'm doing the chicken dance, but I'm totally not... Wow. I've said WAY too much.

*Poll*
Is it bad for me to want to see Soul Plane???

I'm Only Happy When It Rains

2004-10-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

OK so not to sound depressed or like a dark soul or anything, but I LOVE it when it rains. We have these big sky lights in our sunroom that make this really loud rain noise when it starts to rain and when I hear it I like run outside and play in the rain... OK, that's kinda creepy cuz I don't actually PLAY in the rain, as much as I look at it... But I really do love the rain, I guess it's like, relaxing or something. (BTW, I have the DVD of Singing in the Rain, and I have yet to watch it, but I hear it's good...)

When I was like, 10 though, I had a different room than where I am now that also had a huge skylight in it. I loved it because I finally had my own room away from my brother and he could also have his own room. But I wasn't prepared for what was to come. The first few weeks of sleeping in there were just fine and dandy, until one night I had this REALLY weird dream. All of a sudden in my dream all of these nails and bolts and stuff start falling on my head and it REALLY hurts and starts to give me a bad head ache. I had several questions: 1. WHY was I at The Home Depot??? 2. WHY were things crashing onto my head??? 3. Would I have to pay for the damaged supplies??? Then I woke up and realized that it was the sound of the rain and apparently softball-sized hail hitting my skylight and it quickly drove me to insanity. I went through this torture for like 3 more rainy days until I was back to my old room begging my brother to take me back. Thankfully, since I am the baby of the family and get pretty much what I want, my brother didn't really have a choice.

Also when I was younger and it rained a lot, I'd make these wooden boats and sail them down my alley. I later realized that those "wooden boats" that I made were really just pieces of 2/4's that my dad had cut up for me. I really didn't make anything because honestly, I don't have enough patience to make an ACTUAL boat. But never-the-less, I considered them boats...

The last subject I would like to address is Weather People. WHAT IS THEIR PURPOSE? Did you realize that Troy Dungan is NOT a meteorologist? I mean, over the years I'm sure he's developed some weather-sense, but still WHO is he to say he knows when it's gonna rain??? My Aunt Jemima would be just as good at predicting the weather as he is. I also love how the predictions have gotten to where it's ALWAYS a 20% chance of rain with partly cloudy skies. And then on the 5 day forecast, they change up the wording from "Partly Cloudy" to "Mostly Sunny" as if that's ANY different. The only time the weatherpeople shine is when it's ALREADY raining and they're like, "It looks like it's raining in Dallas," or any time when they are able to work in the phrase, "It looks like El Nino!" THANKS A BUNCH GUYS! Way to serve the people!

*MINI BONUS*
I HATE rude waiters. I mean seriously, I was at Hula Hut in Austin this weekend and asked for no sour cream on my burrito. Instead of just saying OK the waiter was like, "What are you like, allergic to it?!" I was just like, OH NO YOU DIIN'T. My actual words were, "No, I just don't like sour cream..." So I DEFINETELY get my burrito later WITH sour cream. AHH... Then when I finished my nasty sour cream filled burrito, he was like, ARE YOU DONE? So I nodded and he goes ARE YOU DONE?! OH. NO. YOU. DIIN'T. I just looked straight in his eyes and go, "YES" (and angrily I might add.) He was rude to me the WHOLE dinner but not rude to anyone else, and it was so obvious cuz everyone else at the table was like, WOAH HE DON'T LIKE YOU. The bad part about all of this is that it was a large party so tip was already included, leaving me the customer POWERLESS against bad service. I did however have enough time to set a voodoo curse on the table I was sitting at that will haunt him for the rest of his life... hehe
*END OF BONUS*

Puppy Love

2004-09-30T19:20:00.001-05:00

So I just realized that I rarely talk about anything more than my food and TV preferences. I decided that I would tell you a little bit more about myself. Most importantly in my life, I have two dogs, Sandie and Lucy. Sandie is an 10 year old mutt from the garland dog pound. We got her when I was in the 2nd grade after my house got broken into by a crazy man in a beat up white van (Call Garland Crime Stoppers at 972 272-TIPS if you have any information leading to the arrest and conviction of this man). I think Sandie has some issues though, every time the beeper on my mom's computer backup system goes off, she FREAKS OUT (Sandie, not my mom). This also happens during a storm, she will LITERALLY never leave my side. But let's take it back a few years, when we first got Sandie my brother thought it would be "funny" to train her to ATTACK me on command. No, I'm not kidding. Anyone in the family could simply say, "Get him Sandie!" and she would find me WHEREVER I was in the house and start chomping down on my legs. One time I actually broke down where I called for the dismissal of Sandie from the family because I couldn't take the abuse anymore, but the family responded with "If Sandie goes, YOU go too." I didn't really have a choice then. News spread though about Sandie's special talent of attacking me and our neighbor even asked if we could have her attack me so she could record it on video... Thanks a lot.

Our other dog is Lucy. We got her about 4 years ago. She's a Maltese and doesn't really know that much. In fact, I'm not sure she really thinks, ever. She also can't jump so we always have to lift her onto the couch and what not. When we got Lucy it REALLY caught Sandie off guard. It was like having a new baby sister. Sandie was pretty mad actually, but it ended up good. Sandie got a lot of excercise with the new pup around and was able to use her attacking skills on Lucy rather than me (in a playful way, she never drew blood or anything). Now that my sister isn't living in the house anymore (at least not while she's at school), both dogs sleep in my room. Lucy has a crate because we just CAN'T trust her. Sandie didn't have a crate at first but OH MY GOSH when you have wood floors in your room and your dog is constantly walking around ALL NIGHT finding the perfect spot, it really makes you want to hurt it. Sandie now has a crate too...

When we got our lake house the dogs LOVED it. Sandie IS a lake dog, Lucy is NOT a lake dog. Sandie is very rugged, she doesn't really like swimming in the lake, but is always up for a ride on the Sea Doo. Lucy isn't rugged at all but we throw her into the lake sometimes, and it's REALLY funny. Sandie knows when we're going to the lake too cuz she has that sense or something, if we say SANDIE LET'S GO TO THE LAKE, she like, FREAKS OUT and jumps in the car. However, if we get all ready for the lake and aren't taking her, she gets TICKED OFF. Like really mad, one time after we got back from the lake when we didn't take her, she didn't talk to me for two whole days, it was scary.

*MINI BONUS*
All this dog talk reminded me about Clifford the Big Red Dog. I never understood this book. I mean that dog wasn't big, it was freakin HUGE. I don't think that a children's book titled CLIFFORD THE FREAKIN HUGE RED DOG would sell very many copies... But seriously, how much food did it take to feed him daily? I would get so tired of carrying those huge bags of dog food from the store, and since petopia.com shut down like, 10 years ago, you couldn't even have the food delivered.
*END OF BONUS*

How Do YOU Eat Your Reeses?

2004-09-28T14:20:00.000-05:00

It's one of those questions that has been around forever, almost as long as "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop." Except, I don't like Tootsie Rolls, nor Tootsie Pops. And that commercial they used was ANCIENT, the one with the animated owl that after only three licks BIT OFF the sucker and said it only took three licks. That TICKED ME OFF because there was NO WAY it was only 3, he was just an old lazy owl. But anyway back to Reese's. I ate like 5 of the normal-sized ones in a row last night and that was after I had a huge dinner. I'm thinking it's my way of responding to the depression that will come when I go through this week without the Amazing Race and Amish in the City (both of which had their season finales last week). But ya, I LOVE Reese's which is weird because I pretty much don't like any other candy. In my room I have a bag full of regular-sized Reese's and then this HUGE mug full of the mini ones (I got the mug at the Hershey's store in Times Square, AMAZING). I think if I eat the mini ones, I feel like I can eat more cuz they're smaller, but then I end up eating like, 20 of them...

The actual TOPIC of this though is how do YOU eat your Reese's. I eat mine like so: after removing the wrapper, I begin to break off the outer border or the cup. I eat the entire border leaving only the soft center. I then take the center and put it in my mouth letting the chocolate melt away as if it's a mint. I then chew up the rest of the peanut butter, and I am finished. It's pretty basic, probably not very original, but ehh, it's good to me. There's some psycho ways they show to eat it on those commercials though, I hope no one really breaks out a hedge trimmer just to cut out the center.

I just realized that I also like Oreo's. I however, only like Oreo's when I eat them this way: (it must be a double stuffed Oreo) Put the Oreo in a short glass of milk, all the way, just drop it in. Take a spoon and swirl it around, (be careful not to break the Oreo) then when cookie is sufficiently soft, take out with spoon and consume. YUUUUUUUUUUM.

I swear this is all I'm going to say, but as I was writing, I realized that both Reese's and Oreo's are possesives, as if Reese and Oreo are actual people. First of all if they ARE real people, I want to meet them because they seriously have changed my life. And second, I can only hope that they are on a strict diet and excercise regimen because WOW if all you eat are Reese's and Oreo's, well, just think about it...

MEAN GIRLS

2004-09-27T18:05:00.000-05:00

OK so if you HAVEN'T seen this movie, I don't know WHO you are because the last 4 people on earth that hadn't seen it all watched it Saturday. That was great. It's wonderful when someone can totally get into a movie, so much that they blurt out things that are answered by Lindsay Lohan's voiceover.

Now let me explain, homecoming was Saturday night right? Before we watched Mean Girls, my group went to eat at PF Changs. I'll start from there. So PF Changs right? I have reservations for 12 at 9:30, we ended up having to add a couple of people to the list (which was fine) but we had to wait a little longer. It ends up that almost all of our table is ready, except we need ONE more small table that is being occupied by two women (North Dallas women I might add) that are doing absolutely NOTHING. Not eating, not drinking, not even talking, just sitting. If they WERE doing anything, it was staring at us. Now I don't really blame them cuz we were a bunch of kids walking around in suits and dresses talking about how HUNGRY WE WERE. And then we began to stare at them until they left. Then it ended up that the hostess found us another table instead... Whoops.

So dinner was delicious, I had Mongolian Beef, Sweet and Sour Chicken, and a Lettuce Wrap. Toward the end of the meal, we see this man staring at us through the glass partition by the door. Just, staring. Then, he proceeded to press his face against the glass like a 4 year old child (this caused some kids at the table to laugh, which unfortunately only encouraged him more). This man wouldn't stop, he then started to lick the window with his face was against it as we were waiving our silverware at him to scare him away. All of this is finally stopped as a woman walks up and goes, "ALFREDO! What are you doing?!" It reminded me of the Full House episode where DJ brings home an old guy from the nursing home without signing him out and then he ends up judging the neighborhoods dog competition where first prize wins a Pooper Scooper... WOW. Anyway, the window was left with some streaks or, "Alfredo Sauce" as I called the substance, and we quickly finished our dinner and got as far away as we could.

After all of the PF Chang madness is when we watched Mean Girls. Like I said, AMAZING. The whole point of the movie is to break down the barriers of girls in the world that hate each other for no reason. However, what the movie seems to be doing is building hatred between real girls and the actresses that play the girls in the movies. For instance, some people have a DEEP hatred for Lindsay Lohan (you can substitute Hilary Duff for Lindsay, or you can hate both depending on your personal preference). I though, can not understand how you could hate someone that you don't even know. All you know of them is that they're rich and have everything they want (at least everything tangible that they want). Now I'm not defending these celebrities by any means, you can NOT LIKE them all you want, but seriously, the horrible hatred for these people that you'll never meet in your life needs to stop because it's kinda scary (and really sad at the same time). WHEW. Glad I got that out. But back to Mean Girls, get the DVD, it has a great blooper reel, deleted scenes, and a Public Service Announcement that everyone must see.

BTW, if you haven't seen the Lindsay Lohan SNL with the Debbie Downer skit, you're TOTALLY missing out because it's the best ever.

*MINI BONUS*
"This is a battle that this administration WILL WIN."

I know what you're thinking, that must be the latest quote from the President about the war in Iraq... No, no, no, of course not! That is actually (and I'm not kidding) a direct quote from one of the assistant principals at school in reference to the shirt-tail-tucked-in policy. Wow...

Super MADNESS!!!

2004-09-25T16:19:00.000-05:00

OK guys I am SO excited. No wait, I take that back, I'm SUPER excited for the grand opening of the new SUPER SAVER! Forget about that old run down, rudely-run, smelly, sticky-floored, non-stocked Albertsons, and welcome Super Saver into your life. Now, I haven't actually been IN the new store, but honestly, if they did ANYTHING to Albertson's it's probably better... But what really impressed me about SS was not the newly painted off-white and red walls but the fact that in order to celebrate opening, they offered pony rides. Do you REMEMBER pony rides? OH YES, I DO. I went to first grade in Mesquite so every day on the way home, we would pass the pony ride carosel thing. Those were the days, when riding on an undergrown horse that was attached to a steel bar, forcing it around and around in a circle was amusing. Now, when you're NOT four years old, you finally realize that it can't be fun for a horse to walk in circles constantly staring at the behind of the horse in front of it while carrying a either 1) obnoxious and screaming kid that tells you to go faster, 2) a kid the cries the ENTIRE time, or 3) the ever so popular combination of both 1 and 2. Anyway, Super Saver had one of those, however, after I just wrote all of that, it doesn't sound like as much fun as it used to be...

I do have to give SS some credit though, they actually had an inflatable that HAD a purpose. It said GRAND OPENING. WOW! So simple, yet, for some reason some people don't understand how to advertise. (To fully understand my ranting, see ACCEPTANCE IS THE FIRST STEP)

In conclusion, (like how I went back to the days of freshman english essays?) since I haven't been inside, I can not tell you if Super Saver will be good or not. However, I can tell you, if they don't have self check-out, it is not cool and I won't be going there. (I guess since Albertson's is gone I can get rid of the Preferred card on my keychain...loser...)

TV Land

2004-09-23T14:15:00.000-05:00

Some one is seriously out to get me. WHY when everything is just going perfect, someone has to go and screw everything up again. I'm sure yall know what I'm talking about. That's right, COMCAST. Who do they think they are? Do they really think they can just go and move the Disney Channel from 44 to 60, and just get away with it? I mean seriously, I've had my fingers trained to the controllers for years so that they naturally just find the right channel. I can only assume that with basically every channel changing positions it will take months to retrain my fingers. Here's a brief breakdown of where the channels are now on basic cable:

59: Nickelodeon (but honestly does ANYONE watch that anymore???)
60: Disney
61: ABC Family
62: Cartoon Network
63: GSN
70: VH1 (Thank the LORD they didn't move)
73: MTV
44: TBS
49: E!
12: UPN

CRAZY. JUST CRAZY, I mean really. But something even more weird to me is not that all the channels changed, but that there is now a Dallas Cowboys CHANNEL. It's too bad that it's only on digital cable, MAN! I was just so anxious to be able to watch a channel with NOTHING but the Cowboys... Oh well.

In other TV news: Martha Stewart and "Survivor" creator, Mark Burnett, are teaming up to make a new reality show. No one has really said what the show will be about, but you can only assume that it will involve some sort of cookie-baking and wreath-making challenges. I'm thinking elimination ceremonies could be sort of like the Iron Chef and each person is given like, $5 at Hobby Lobby and 100 popsicle sticks to make the best crafty item and the worst one gets kicked off... But that's just MY guess. No word yet on when filming will start but you can bet it will be at least five months. (While Martha's in JAIL, there really would be a limited number of locations to shoot between the cell and the cafeteria) However, if they did start filming after that, it would have to be at the home she's confined in and they would have to limit shots of her from the waist up to ensure that her ankle monitor isn't too distracting.

Today CBS was fined $550,00 by the FCC for, we'll call it, "exposing" Janet Jackson to the world. Each local station owned by CBS was fined $27,500 as well (including Dallas's CBS11). But I feel bad for Janet in all of this because I for one, have wardrobe malfunctions ALL the time and I would HATE it if my unfortunate situation was blown up into a huge deal giving me free publicity around the world right before my newest CD was about to come out, that would be so horrible...Too bad really though, WHAT is up with CBS lately, they can't seem to keep themselves out of the news... Speaking of CBS, CONGRATS to Chip and Kim for winning The Amazing Race and beating COLIN AND CHRISTIE, UUUUUUUUUGHHHH, DO NOT like them...

AAAAAAAAAnyway. I have nothing else to say, except that Amish in the City AND The Amazing Race are both over so I have pretty much nothing to do now...

Let's Play PYRAMID!!!

2004-09-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

I've always wanted to be on that show... Of course, I know I would crack under the pressure, I probably wouldn't even get many points in the food round, which would be very unlike me. But what I really mean to talk about when I say "pyramid" is the FOOD pyramid. SERIOUSLY, what happened to it? I thought the food pyramid used to be like THE way to eat. Now we have Atkins, South Beach, and Jenny Craig telling us how to consume our food. I think just for the heck of it, I'm going to come out with a book called The Pyramid Diet. Go old school. It'd be HUGE! Pretty much anything book that starts with "The" and ends with "Diet" becomes a national best seller. No doubt one day big celebrities will finally realize this and find ANOTHER way to make more money. We'll have The Oprah Diet, The Celine Dion Diet, The J. Lo Diet, and probably The Friends Diet because it looks like they'll probably never stop marketing that show. I can't say that I've ever actually FOLLOWED the food pyramid, unless chips, hot sauce, and enchiladas are all spread out among the sections. But let's think about that for a second, chips and tortillas would be corn, hot sauce is tomato, so there I've already got two vegtables. Then beans would be like, my bread serving (I know, I'm stretching it a bit). OOO queso could totally be my dairy serving, and chili con carne my meat. I'm TOTALLY using four out of six sections of the pyramid so all I'd have to do is pop a few grapes and eat a cup of pudding and I'm all set for a long and healthy life!!!

I'd have to say that vegtables are my least favorite section of the table. I mean, I can do a salad with tomatos, but that's about it. I'm just not interested in green beans or broccoli. Speaking of tomatos and broccoli. VEGGIE TALES. I've heard so much about them lately, I'm getting quiet interested. All of my little cousins (1, 2, 5, and 6 year olds) know all of the songs, come to think of it, some of my friends (16, 17, and 18 year olds) do too... I do know the Cheeseburger song and I like it because it's funny. But can I raise a question about Veggie Tales? Have they ever done away with a character? Because honestly, all of the things that happen in that show would have to happen in a time span of about 2 weeks because that's all you can really get out of even a well grown vegtable. They would either have to be stored in a brown bag on the counter or Food Saved, but I don't see any of that happening. And even if they didn't kill of the character entirely they could at least have some mold growing on it or something, SOMETHING to make it a little realistic. Oh, do they have an avacado? Because I LOVE those. GUACAMOLE!!!

I had mexican food for both dinners this weekend. When I was in Austin I ate at Matt's El Rancho, and then today at El Arroyo... VERY, VERY good. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it! BTW, I'm still looking for a tortilla lady if any one needs a job...

Gettin Dirrty!!!

2004-09-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

So this week for our weekly El Chico Night, the fam went to Chipotle. BOY was that gooooood. I had so much food, and ate EVERY single bite. Last year I got questioned as to whether I was anorexic because of my skinniness, let me tell you, I ain't no Mary-Kate. Anyway, my battle with weight is not the point of my story. The point is the RANDOMness of my family. The entire dinner I visualized how funny a reality show would be about us. The highlight of the night was what I would call "Conversations About Dirt" if we DID have a TV show. We must have spent 10 minutes discussing the differences between mulch, top soil, and compost. Incase you don't know what each of these is: mulch is a combination of bark substances or wood chips that create a nice visual effect on the top of a garden, top soil is just plain dirt, and compost basically a pile of trash that after weeks and weeks of rotting becomes good soil that you can plant from. However it was decided that although a compost pile may produce desirable soil, the smell from it may negate the positives about it.

Back in my childhood days me and my siblings would go to the side of our house where all this dirt is and have mud fights where we would drench the dirt with water, and basically jump around and throw mud at each other. This didn't make my parents very happy since it became a weekly ordeal. We got very creative with the mud, making mud restaurants featuring mud platters and Mudshakes... get it? HA...

ANYWAY yes yes yes. Dirt really is weird isn't it? I mean, what IS it. If someone asked you what it was you'd say "dirt" right? But what IS dirt? Oh I think I'm digging too deep. OH DIGGING! GET IT?! Wow... Then there's also the question, is sand considered dirt too? Or is sand just sand, and dirt is just dirt. Then there's the movie Joe Dirt, which I did not see, didn't really have the desire to. Last time I was at Magic Time Machine one of the waiters was Joe Dirt, he was loud and obnoxious, my waitress was the ever so energetic Tooth Fairy. Good times, good times. Dirt is really everywhere. Like who decided that the word for being filthy and smelly would be "dirty." To me that's like calling all soft drinks "Coke." We're just making a generalization that dirt is a bad thing, when really, without dirt WE WOULD NEVER BE WHERE WE ARE TODAY. (Sound like a funny comment, but if you actually think about it, it's kinda true...)

What is the WORLD Coming To?!

2004-09-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

Geez folks what's going on? Martha Stewart's going to JAIL! Today she requested that he judge send her to prison "as soon as possible." (So she can "get it over with and move on.") Martha, Martha, Martha! (If you say that like Jan Brady says "Marsha", it's pretty amusing) But seriously, here we have this woman who's never done anything wrong but help you waste money on Taiwanese-made goods from K-Mart, and she's going to JAIL! I can not IMAGINE what it will be like for her. I mean seriously, SERIOUSLY. She has so many decisions to make before she gets there. I mean, what count linens should she bring? What colors would best accent the features of her room, I mean, cell. I can't help but imagine all of the grief she will go through every day, they'll probably all make her do their laundry. Heck, I would if Martha moved in next to me. I'd have her cookin, cleanin, and making lots of those sculptures out of watermelons. TELL ME you've seen those, they can make all kinds of animals and what not just from watermelons and other sorts of fruits. I've also always wanted a giant ice sculpture. Those look really neat, although I don't think prisons carry the molds and other supplies required to make those, that's something I'd have to check on. BUT back to my main point. Who's next to go to jail? OPRAH?! OK let me tell you, the day Oprah does something bad enough to get sent to jail, we might as well all pack our bags and go because SERIOUSLY she's like the nicest person on earth. And even if Oprah DID get sent to jail, she'd probably just tape her show there, the inmates could be her audience and instead of cars maybe she'd give away catered meals or something (When you've had prison food for days upon days, a catered meal is like a miracle. BELIEVE me, I would know) OK so after Martha's out of jail (probably around March-April) she'll have another sentence of 5 months of "House Arrest" which in Martha's case they should just rename it, "Be Normal." She got to choose which of her luxurious houses she would be "locked up" in for 5 months and I'm sure it won't be that bad. I mean, if I was in jail for 5 months, I spend the next 5 months at home catching up on all the shows I had missed, so I'd be home anyway...

SPEAKING of K-Mart (I mentioned it earlier when talking about cheaply made foreign products) WHAT is the deal with their ad campaigns?! They have more commercials than the Gap and they aren't even in Texas anymore! I think I've had enough of the WB ones where the stars of Reba and Seventh Heaven strut around in K-Mart clothes. WHICH let me tell you, ANY of the clothes you see on those commercials like Target, Gap, or other clothing stores, you can NOT find in the store. It's impossible. And if you DO find the clothes, they don't look good on you anyway. Or wait, maybe that's just me...

For Every Thing in Life, There is Purpose

2004-09-12T19:20:00.000-05:00

OK so we're told that everything is on this earth for a reason right? I am SERIOUSLY having a problem seeing the reason behind the ant's existance. For real though. WHAT good has any ant ever done? I mean, we have seeing eye dogs, search dogs, and all other sorts of animals that contribute to human existance. But ants? All they do is make these huge homes made of DIRT and bite people! OK, so why am I so angry? I was down at the lake today, you know, minding my own business when I look down at my flip-flopped foot that has been COVERED in ants. AHHHH!!! I scream at the ants (as if they would hear my and understand that I'm mad) and quickly brush them off of my foot. Well GREAAAAAAAT. So now my foot starts getting really itchy and swelling up. At that point I condemned all ants in the world for their actions against mankind. I don't know if these ants were allergic to the coconut-based sun tan lotion on my foot or they were just some non-toxic ants, but luckily the swelling on my foot went away and I'm happy again. Don't get me wrong though, I still hate ants.

Let's go back now about seven years. My tenth birthday. Happy right? Well, I got this new toy called the STOMP ROCKET. AWESOME. OK so this rocket is set on a tube that's connected to a large balloon of air, so when you STOMP on it, the rocket shoots into the sky. So I'm out in my front yard right? Just having a grand ole time shooting this rocket when all of a sudden, it lands in the bushes next to my house. Naturally I go into the bushes to get the rocket right? Well once again, MY LUCK, as I'm getting the rocket. I step RIGHT into a GIANT pile of fire ants. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! My foot is ON FIRE. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND the madness of it all. I jumped so far out of those bushes that I could have won an Olympic medal. So fire ants right? They make these nasty white bumps wherever they bite. My ENTIRE heel was covered in them for like, the next two weeks. I couldn't put shoes or socks on it hurt so bad.

I sure this is all funny and entertaining for you, but it CERTAINLY wasn't for me, so I hope you're happy with yourself for laughing at a poor, helpless, and hurting child... You should be ASHAMED.

*MINI BONUS*
One more thing I don't see a purpose for in this world: Foley's Red Apple Sale. Seriously though. They have them EVERY week. Yet there are still people that are impressed by Foley's marking down their already over priced clothing up to 70%! I'm just tired of hearing/seeing all of their advertising that makes the Red Apple Sale look like something that only comes around once, when in actuality it makes as many appearances as Cher has had on her 10 year farewell tour. And THAT is all I have to say about that...
*END OF BONUS*

RAID!

2004-09-09T15:45:00.000-05:00

So last night while watching TV in like, a 45 minute block, I must have heard the words "Bed Bugs" used a THOUSAND times. Seriously, it was really weird. So after like, the 850th time someone said "bed bugs" I got to thinking. What exactly ARE these "bed bugs". "Don't let the bed bugs bite," is actually the entire phrase. I just DON'T understand it. Are they assuming that you're sleeping in a bed of lice? Or do they think that your house is just so nasty that you would be accustomed to sleeping with roaches? Either way, it's kinda just a really random phrase to say. All I know is that if I went to sleep every night having to worry about some little creatures eating me to death, you better believe those sheets would be SOAKED in OFF. Actually, I have another idea. I've always wanted a reason to put some of those tiki torches in my room... Maybe I could just surround my bed with them. Kinda like a Survivor tribal council meeting... Of course, then I would burn my entire house down defeating the entire purpose of the torches. But you KNOW they would look cool for at least those first five minutes.

Speaking of Survivor, THE APPRENTICE COMES BACK TONIGHT! I never actually liked Survivor, but THE APPRENTICE is my life. It's Survivor in NYC and The Donald would say. Last season was wonderful with the psychoness of Sam, and the inspiration for the movie Liar Liar, Omarosa, making appearances as well. Seriously that girl was INSANE. It's too bad Kwame didn't have the sense enough to fire her in the 2nd to last episode, that could have won it for him. Anyone that suffers a concussion from having a piece of molding lightly caress their scalp can be considered clinically insane (believe me, I asked a doctor). Of course then there was Omarosa accusing Erika of making a racist remark when she used the phrase, "Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Which was followed by Omarosa's genius response, "Well there you go again with your racist terms."... I'll just leave it at that.

I can only hope that this season will bring us as much drama as the first, which Trump says there is even MORE racial-driven drama in this season than in the first. The show will begin Boys VS. Girls again but the tasks will be much more challenging as 18 contestants get cut down to one who will become, what's that again? OH YES. THE APPRENTICE. Who do I predict will win? Well, I don't exactly know since I haven't seen the first episode yet. However, I'm putting my money on the girl with the fro. DON'T mess with the fro.

*MINI BONUS*
From Willis on Diff'rent Strokes, to the Rubberband Man (from the Office Max commercials), fros have been a HUGE part of television history. Today I will briefly talk about fros and their influence on American life.

Some people are made for the fro, and some are not. For instance, Brandon from this season's The Amazing Race, is not made for the fro. Sorry Brandon, you're too nerdy and, white, for a fro it this stage of your life. Another person who the fro just didn't work out for was American Idol's runner up, Justin Guarini. OK let's just be honest here, his fro was MASSIVE. I went to the American Idol concert that first year in the SECOND balcony, and couldn't see a THING cuz that boy's hair was shoved in my face. Also, it obviously didn't work for him when he didn't win, his CD flopped, and he got hit with a lawsuit by an old couple who claims got hit by Guarini's car. I must give him credit though, I did see him on VH1 WITHOUT the fro. Sadly, that didn't work out for him either. So I came up with a suggestion. Justin: PAPER BAG. YOUR HEAD. The fro did work for another Justin (for a very short period of time). *NSYNC's Justin Timberlake successfully sported his tribute to the young Michael Jackson for quite some time before he got hit by a man holding a weed eater that sadly cut it all off. The fro will live on forever, quite possibly making its next successful appearance on Stacie from the new season of The Apprentice. (Stay tuned to find out)
*END OF MINI BONUS*

Acceptance is the First Step

2004-09-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

OK so there are some things in life that I have come to accept that I will NEVER understand. You know, those random things that exist for no reason at least that you know of. For instance, a perfect example is those giant inflatable gorillas. I mean seriously. I saw this huge PINK gorilla that had an orange t-shirt on outside this car dealership in Mesquite this weekend. I understand that it's supposed to attract attention, but does seeing a giant (UGLY) fake gorilla on the side of the road make you wanna go test drive a new SUV? I would have loved to have been in the meeting with the dingbat that suggested a pink monkey for their advertising, (I mean no ill feelings to www.pinkmonkey.com, which has helped me through many an english test, it just came out that way) I would have laughed very hard. (And then gotten fired because apparently they liked the idea or the gorilla wouldn't have been there.) WHICH reminds me. Do yall remember MIGHTY JOE YOUNG? That was a different movie... I saw it the other day and I was totally freaked out when I realized that it starred now Oscar Award Winner, Charlize Theron. No, not as Joe, but as his zookeeper/helper person. I guess all stars start small... or BIG in this occasion. (Get it? Mighty Joe Young was BIG... ya, I'm sorry, not funny, but I had to say it)

Another thing that is just hard to understand is AOL. SERIOUSLY. NO ONE LIKES YOU AOL. Name one good thing you've done other than AIM. WHOOPS! Can't do it can you AOL?! NO. Because AOL is the leader in slow, hard-to-understand, money wasting internet. But I don't think AOL realizes this because what do I get in the mail every day? THAT'S RIGHT, an AOL CD. I mean really, at first it was cool like, twice a year getting free internet in the mail. Then it became every month, then every week, now every day. Except for weekends thank goodness. OH WAIT. That's RIGHT! When we can't get CDs sent to us in the mail, they just stuff them in the paper! I must have 10,000 AOL CDs, and STILL don't have AOL... If they would just send me a blank CD I could at least burn CDs of what I want (and I wouldn't hate them so much.) Stay tuned for AOL CDs coming in your cereal boxes and with your check when you go out to eat. I kid you not, that day will come.

And lastly, to round out the list of things that I just don't understand is that person that NO ONE understands: Ms. Britney Spears. Who is formally Mrs. Jason Alexander, who will soon be Mrs. Kevin Federline, and who is now known to the public as just Britney. Britney started as a cute little girl on the Mickey Mouse Club, who we now know is NOT THAT INNOCENT. She then started her solo career with her hit, HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME. Then went on to hit the charts several more times which was enough to DRIVE ME CRAZY, and it all started going downhill from there. SOMETIMES I wonder if Britney thinks about some of the things she does. She kissed Madonna, became a Kabbalah person, got married in Vegas, got an anullment, and got engaged, yet she still claims that she is STRONGER because of all of it. Now, I'm not trying to make it ME AGAINST THE MUSIC of Britney Spears, I'll admit, I know the words to most of her tunes, (but let's be honest people, WE ALL know all of the words to her songs) her songs are TOXIC in the way that they become an addiction to listeners. But anyway, now that she's about to be married for the second time, doesn't that take her out of that, NOT-YET-A-WOMAN stage? I probably shouldn't make fun of her so much though, I mean SHE'S SO LUCKY, SHE'S A STAR, BUT SHE CRY CRY CRIES IN HER LONELY HEART when all of this stuff comes out in the tabloids about her. Oh wait, no she doesn't because she PUTS herself out there for the tabloids so she can stay popular! That's right, I totally forgot. I feel bad for Britney so I will never make fun of her anymore.

BTW, Britney is a horrible lip syncher, stick to the dancing Brit! Oops... I DID IT AGAIN.

(Excuse my cheesiness in the last paragraph, it just became a fun challenge to incorporate as many of her songs into it as I could.)

PS. All you Britney lovers out there! She and Kevin COULD be starring in a new edition of MTV's Newlywed's. Giving everyone ONE more reason to be annoyed by her! WOOHOO!!!

Movie Preview Blowout!!!

2004-09-02T19:45:00.000-05:00

OK guys for the end of this year, (yes, it is coming to the END of 2004) we have TONS of movies coming out. And now I will give you a little preview of them.

September: The first of SIX Jude Law movies that are coming out between September and Christmas is Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Also starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie, the entire movie is computer generated (except for the actors of course) making it look like a very WEIRD, Spy Kids 3D-type world. I might just see it because I don't know what the heck it's about. I'm gonna go on a limb and say that it's possibly about a Sky Captain that does something to change the world on the next day... Sept. 17

Then there's the chick flick, Wimbeldon, starring Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany... Who am I kidding? NO ONE knows who Paul Bettany is. Let's start over. Then there's Wimbeldon, starring Kirsten Dunst. A movie that I'm assuming is about two tennis players who hate each other at first, and have like, one of those scenes where they're slamming the tennis ball back and forth really hard (as if they were angry at one another) and the scene ends up with them embracing and kissing into the sunset. In the end, the two who were once enemies, get married, and have lots of tennis-playing children. Sept. 17

Next we have Vanity Fair starring Reese Witherspoon. As long as it's nothing like Legally Blonde 2, it's probably good. I mean, she has red hair in this one so it has to be better. Set in the 19th century (which for those of you who don't know what that means, is the 1800's) Vanity Fair follows Reese's character, Becky Sharp, as she makes her way to the top of the London society... Hmm. I don't really know what that means. I'm guessing she's just dancing around in one of those huge dresses and talking with an accent most of the time. Sept. 1

And now The Forgotten. This movie stars Julianne Moore as a person who's memory gets erased. The title suggests that this movie is somewhat biographical seeing as Ms. Moore's last movie, Laws of Attraction, was indeed Forgotten. But seriously, her character starts out living a nice family life until one day her family does not exist anymore. Blah blah blah, she finds out that someone's erased her mind, she finds her family, seeks revenge, loud crashes occur. Go see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (if you aren't prone to motion sickness, because it made me nauseous) because it's like the same thing. Sept. 24

OK if I keep reviewing all of these movies it will take forever, so I'm just gonna kinda one line them.

OCTOBER:
Ladder 49: Stars John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix as they battle fires, save lives, and play firefighters who serve as every day heroes. This should be a HOT one! (get it? hot, fire...wow) Oct. 1

Shark Tale: Stars Will Smith, and I just can't get myself to want to see this movie because honestly, that fish is just ugly, at least Nemo was cute. GO GET FINDING NEMO ON DVD INSTEAD. Oct. 1

Raise Your Voice: For all you Hilary Duff fans out there, she stars in the movie about a girl who goes to summer music camp and finds herself, and no doubt trips and falls down a set of stairs in the process JUST to pay tribute to Lizzie McGuire. Oct. 8

Lastly, Ray: Collateral's Jamie Fox stars as the blind singer Ray Charles. That's all I know. He's blind and plays the piano. (He also died this year.) Oct. 29

NOVEMBER:
The Incredibles: Disney's last collaboration with Pixar animation studios brings us this movie about a family of superheroes. (hopefully it's not as bad as Disney Channel's original movie about the same subject) I still don't know if I'll like this one, but then again, I didn't know if I'd like Nemo, then I did... Nov. 5

Christmas With the Kranks: Stars Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis, who looks JUST like Jill from Home Improvement so I don't know what they were trying to do there but this looks like it's just a Christmas Vacation wannabe, and we all know that movie will never be outdone. (Look for a hilarious scene involving a canned ham rolling down the street... MAN how far will they go just to get a joke?! That's OURTAGEOUS!) Nov. 24

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason: All I know about this movie is that Renee Zellweger gained a ton of weight for it and that she's on the edge of reason... Seriously, that's all I know. Nov. 19

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: I'm sorry, I just cannot bring myself to like him, and I don't know why anyone does, what's so cool about a yellow sea sponge? (Which by the way, they are NOT perfectly square when they come out of the ocean so it's all essentially a lie...) Nov. 19

The Polar Express: A computer animated movie starring Tom Hanks as the conductor, this was my FAVORITE children's book that I read every year at Christmas so this movie better be AMAZING or someone's gonna get it. Nov. 10

DECEMBER:

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Jim Carrey stars in this Harry Potter wannabe that looks just depressing kinda, although I've heard that the books are popular, but then again, I don't read! Dec.17

Ocean's Twelve: All twelve of the gang are back to steal more money! (not only in the movie, but out of our pockets as we pay $8 to go see it) Dec. 10

MEET THE FOCKERS: I CANNOT WAIT. Even though Barbra Streisand is like, the weirdest woman on this earth, I know she will be hilarious as Greg Focker's mother as the two families meet. Dec. 22

Fat Albert: I can't believe I'm actually writing about it. BUT WOW. I WILL NOT see this movie. Kenan Thompson is the very cartoonish, Fat Albert, who is I'm assuming just fat an annoying for an hour and a half throughout the movie. For more reason not to see it, Raven and Aaron Carter also make appearances in it. Dec. 25

Those are only some of the 80+ movies coming out this Fall/Winter.
For now, GO SEE GARDEN STATE!!! Woohoo. It's a good one.

And the Award Goes To...

2004-08-30T17:00:00.000-05:00

OH MY GOODNESS. So I just finished watching the VMA's that I had recorded last night... Was that a joke? Like, really, are the real ones gonna come on tonight and have like, ACTUAL music? I felt like I was taking part in an episode of Punk'd more than I was watching a music awards show. Hopefully Ashton will come on TV tonight to tell us that they were all just kidding.

Seriously though, let's just start from the beginning. Usher: WORST LIP SYNCHER EVER. It was SO completely obvious that none of those words were coming out of his mouth. And FYI MTV, when electrical equipment gets wet, it shocks the person holding it, so ya it was DEFINETELY not live when he's holding a mic in pouring rain... BUT anyway. Next we had Hoobastank who, HoobaSTUNK. They did teach me something though with their performance. Now I know that next time I'm singing on stage and just don't feel like hitting the high notes, I can simply aim the mic at the audience during various parts of the song and make them sing it! Ya, they were just BAD. Also throughout the night we had P. Diddy who officially LIVES on TV. Literally I haven't turned it on once where he hasn't been on. He has even been on OPRAH. That says a lot...

Oh, I love people that are just crazy. Like Fergie from Black Eyed Peas. After I saw her at the awards, I sent her a letter. It simply said, "Hey Fergie, you're white!" The girl is convinced that she is all ghetto, but no, no Fergie, you aren't. And then there's Lil John. Or rather, NOT so Lil John, even Lil Bow Wow gave up the "Lil" part of his name when he turned like, 14. I think if Karen Walker from Will & Grace was a real person, Lil John and her would be best friends. I believe he is REALLY the most drunk person in this world. Every screen shot of him had him holding some alcoholic beverage. However, it is obvious to me after hearing Lil John's screaming, I mean singing, in real life, he truly is a musical prodigy. Which leads me to my next point. Children, if you want to become a good singer, just scream out the notes, or you can just roll the notes a thousand times making each word you sing last about three minutes. Apparently the longer the rolling, the better you are, that's just something I've noticed.

Beyonce was there! Of course she was, right along with her boyfriend Mr. Jay Z. and her wig. You probably couldn't see, but her hair piece actually had a separate seat next to her for when she wasn't on camera. Seriously, her hair was bigger than Reba's ever was, and that says a LOT. Oh ya! Marc Anthony was also there! Wait, who IS Marc Anthony??? OHHH that's right, J. Lo's new husband. So there's another thing kids! If you want to be noticed by MTV, just marry J. Lo!

Another person who graced the screen was CHAKA KHAN. I've actually never seen her before except when she was on Hollywood Squares, but I love saying her name. She was on with Kanye West and his hip-hop gospel choir. That was just, WOW... Fat Joe also performed his hit LEAN BACK, although, I think out of the whole thing, I heard just the two words, "LEAN BACK" because the rest were all bleeped out. Then came Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I was HOPING for them to perform a song from their hit "You're Invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley's School Dance Party" (It seriously couldn't have been any worse than the rest of the acts) but all they did was present. Jessica Simpson then flew down in a Glinda-type bubble that looked like it was equipped for a wedding. Then she proceeded to umm, not sing, not even scream, I guess I call it SQUEEZE out her song WITH YOU. You know that noise a balloon makes when you pull the two ends of the hole apart? It sounded like that. Then at the end for some reason she thought it would sound good to pretend she had just inhaled helium. Even though we did have to listen to Jessica, I will thank MTV for this: NOT MAKING US SIT THROUGH AN ASHLEE SIMPSON SONG. I mean, really.

Let's see, what else happened. Oh ya, WHY was Bruce Willis there? Don't you love it when celebrities randomly just show up. He was kinda like the Paris Hilton of the night, no one really knew why he was there, he just sat with P. Diddy the whole time and danced to the rap songs. I guess they're "homies". There was also some guy that got onto the stage in a giant hampster ball, and while this was happening, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to see Lil John in it. I bet that would be pretty funny. OK, and then at the end I REALLY thought this was a joke. Like, the Brady kids performed in these giant robes. I was confused. But honestly not surprised after what I had already seen...

I must say though that out of everything, Christina Aguilera did OK on her song, and Alicia Keys did really good on hers. So they were pretty good. Also, WOOHOO for Maroon 5 winning Best New Artist Video. OH, and also, I wanted to commend MTV for their choice of making Mandy Moore and Marilyn Manson presenting partners. They really had some chemistry flowing.

All in all, those awards were just sad. Although, the most disappointing thing of the night was the new Gap commercial. Here they are, building it up for weeks and weeks and it ended up being just kinda weird. I don't know, it just didn't get me like some of their other ones. My ALL TIME favorite of course being a couple of years ago at Christmas, the LOVE TRAIN commercial. That
was truly great.

So ya, I'm tired from writing all this and sitting through all three hours of those awards. Although, they started late so TiVo missed the last three minutes, which I'm actually very happy about cuz I was about ready to jump in a lake.

*MINI BONUS*
Here are ACTUAL lyrics from verse three of Fat Joe and the Terror Squad's "Lean Back":

Even Lil' Bow Wow throwin it up
B2K crip walkin like that's what's up!
Kay keep tellin me to speak about the Rucker
Matter of fact, I don't wanna speak about the Rucker
Not even Pee Wee Kirkland could imagine this
My *peeps* didn't have to play to win the championship, come on!

All words are the actual lyrics except for "peeps" which I had to change! Apparently Fat Joe has something against "the Rucker."
*END OF BONUS*

Shark Attack!

2004-08-28T21:36:00.000-05:00

OK so today I saw Open Water. Very scary and also very sad... Twas a good movie though. I won't go into too much depth though for those who have yet to see it. All I can say is I hate things lurking around in the water with you. I'm always afraid at the lake that some giant catfish is gonna like brush across my leg, and if it did I would scream SO loud. But ya, I can say that because the guy across the cove from us caught like, a 60 pound catfish a couple of weeks ago and those are HUGE. OK OK OK. TRUE STORY and this is like SCARY. So I'm tubing right? I don't really know who with, but never the less, there were two of us on separate tubes just going along and then all of a sudden the boat cuts off. I'm like DAAAAAAAAAAD! WHY'D YOU CUT THE BOAT OFF?! and he's like, I DIDN'T! So I just assume that he's accidentally moved the throttle the wrong way or something, but like, it will NOT start back up. So it's just like, GREAAAAAAAT, we're just SITTING in the middle of the lake with nothing to do. Then, all of a sudden like, 30 feet in front of my tube, I see this head, slivering through the water (THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT JUST THINKING ABOUT IT). I'm like OH, NO. There is a HUGE snake swimming toward me. YES, I am totally NOT kidding. So ya, I look closer, and like, his back is like, chopped off. We RAN OVER AN EIGHT FOOT LONG SNAKE in the lake. So I'm just like WHAT do I do now?! I don't want to be in the lake with a snake. So we pull the tubes back in and we're just sitting in the boat now, watching this snake. So we yell at our neighbor, Paul, and he know's exactly what to do. He pulls out his shotgun and SHOOTS the snake. Good Ole Lake... So ya, the snake's dead, but you never know what still lies beneath!

Oh yes, I have ANOTHER snake story. A few years ago we were down at my dad's friend Eddie's ranch in Mason, Texas. My dad and I were four-wheeling around the ranch when I see this brown thing moving in the trees. I'm like, DAD I think I just saw a rattle snake. So we went back to that tree and looked in the bushes around it. Surely enough, there's a big ole rattle snake. So my dad gets out the revolver... Oh yes, fun fun. So, the snake gets shot in the head. But we can't just leave it there! NOOOOOOOO we have to take it WITH us! So, we strap this "dead" rattlesnake onto the front of the 4-wheeler. So we're just riding along when all of a sudden, this DEAD snake, starts pullin its head up at us! Like, it's getting in the biting position. A DEAD snake. That we SHOT. IN THE HEAD. So we stop to like, make sure it's actually dead. It ends up that we have to remove its head to ensure our safety. So we get BACK on the 4-wheeler and are heading back to the cabin. Surely enough, the DEAD snake with NO HEAD starts pulling up it's headless neck at us! I'm pretty sure I just screamed really loud when this happened. Then I realized that a dead, headless snake can do NOTHING to harm you. So we got back to the cabin just fine. I mean really though, how embarrassing would that be to say that you got bit by a snake with no head.

BUT ANYWAY, back to the point of this entry. Sharks. Does anyone remember the game SHARK ATTACK! I do. I used to play it all the time. Actually, I don't think I've ever played the actual game, it was more like, you just set the pieces out and made the shark eat them up. No one REALLY cared how to play the game. Just like Mouse Trap. Like, has ANYONE ever PLAYED Mouse Trap??? Cuz by the time you get all the junk set up, you just want to roll the marble down the thing and get it over with. Another classic game was Hungry Hungry Hippos, which I realized later in life, requires no actual SKILL. You could sit there and hit that lever a thousand times and only get one ball, or you could hit it once and get like, four. I never won that game... BUT one game that I was GOOD at was GUESS WHO. I LOVED that game. Let me tell you though. Some of those people were UGLY. Like the guy with white hair and a white beard had HUGE lips. Also the lady with the flowered hat and red hair was just not normal looking. But yes, I enjoyed that game very much. I don't think anyone even plays board games anymore besides like, Monopoly, but we all know that takes like, a year to finish if there's no cheating involved.

Death of a Salesman

2004-08-26T14:50:00.000-05:00

OK listen, this does NOT mean that I want all salespeople to die, it just made for a very catchy title! OK, so today I went BACK to North Park because I had to change the color of my shirt that I bought the other day (no, I didn't knock any of the canned food sculptures down). So I go into Express right? I'm looking through the shirts to find my size and everything and one of the sales people creeps up from behind me and is like CAN I HELP YOU FIND A SIZE?! (scared me to DEATH) And first of all I'm like, ok, turn your voice down, and then second, "no thanks, I just found it." I don't know what he wanted me to do, like, sit and wait on him as he looked through the stack for me? It's not like he's my servant or I'm physically unable to find the shirt myself. So anyway, I got the shirt exchanged and everything and then I went to the Gap. Literally, 3 seconds after I walk in the door I hear, "Can I help you find something sir?!" Then I politely say "no thanks" again. But like seriously, do I looked like I'm constantly distressed or something? Do I always look desperately in need? I mean, the next time someone asks me if I need help at a store, I'll just say "Yes!" and make them go EVERYWHERE with me. I'll make them flip through the racks for me, hold all of my clothes, and wait in the cashier line. I mean, I guess that's what they want, they're in constant need of helping some one. Except one of the workers today at Gap was standing there folding the SAME shirt like, 4 times in a row so they looked busy. I guess they just weren't in the "Helping" mood... The sad thing is, if you actually ask them for help, like getting a shirt in the back, they think that makes them your friend. Then they really do start going everywhere in the store with you and telling you what you should buy. If they want to be all buddy buddy with me then they need to give me their employee discount and they're free to act like my friend (just so long as they don't actually try and talk to me). The guy at Express tried to get me to buy some pants and I was like, "No thanks" and he KEPT ON TRYING. "But sir, they're SoOo comfortable! They're really nice!" When I had JUST said that I didn't need pants. Ahhh. But don't get me wrong, I understand that it's their job to badger you into buying clothes and they're just trying to help you when they tell you that your shoes don't match your shirt, but sometimes it's better for them to just keep their mouths shut.

*MINI BONUS*
OK all of this clothing store stuff reminded me of something else. HOLLISTER CHANGING "ROOMS". WHAT THE HECK. It's like, a SHEET on a ROD that separates you from the next person. Like, easily the person next to you could open their cloth and accidentally (or NOT accidentally) open yours, exposing you to the world. It JUST disturbs me. Also, I think it's odd how they have it perfectly lit to where inside the "room" you look perfectly tan (because there's barely any light) and outside, you can see the sillhouette on the curtain. It's just all a little too risqué for me.
*END OF BONUS*

Powerless

2004-08-25T16:28:00.000-05:00

OK let me just start off by saying that CLUB HILL ELEMENTARY NEEDS TO GET UP AND MOVE. I can not go one more day spending 15 minutes just WAITING in the middle of the street for all the little children to be picked up. I usually have to drive on the left side of the road to get by all of the parents that just decided that they are more important than everyone else, so they just stop on the road, waiting to turn into the school. But today, I wanted to bypass that so I went down Oak Hill and came up Merrimac so I would just miss all of the traffic in front of the school. But NOOOOOOOOOO the car at the front of the line at the stop sign decides that the stop sign would be a GREAT place to wait on their kid. So it's seriously like, 10 minutes until i just LAY on the horn... Thankfully, they moved after that but OH MY GOODNESS. THE MADNESS OF IT ALL. Isn't that like, against the law anyway? To just STOP in the middle of the street. WOW. I just hate Club Hill for that.

SO once I finally get home, I'm all good right? NOOOOOOOOPE. The power's out. The garage door will not come up and I don't know where my keys are. Finally I get in and obviously, NOTHING works, and the computer is beeping repeatedly (which scares my dog Sandie, causing her to follow me EVERYWHERE around the house). But anyway, while the power was out, it made me appreciate all the little things in my life. It's like, once you lose something, you finally figure out how much it means to you. No, I'm not talking about air conditioning or the refrigerator. I'm talking about the computer and tv. My main concern when I walked in the door was not preserving the food that my family lives off of, it was making sure the TiVo comes back on before Amish and the City tonight so I don't miss it (ironic cuz I just remembered that the Amish don't HAVE electricity EVER). When I realized that I couldn't go watch TV, I decide that I'll go get on my computer... RIGHT, computer uses electricity TOO! MAN! What on EARTH do I do now? So I just sat down and looked through the Sharper Image catalogue (even though you have to like, donate a liver and sell your house to get anything out of it) and by the time I finished, the power came back on. Thank GOODNESS. Seriously, you don't know how scary this whole experience was for me. Luckily it was only for like, an hour.

All of that power outage stuff reminds me of Y2K. Remember that?! I mean, those Y2K people really had me freaked out. I literally thought the world was gonna just implode on new year's. After it though, I realize that it was probably just a marketing ploy for selling "Y2K Proof" products. I just remember every day the news being like, "December 31. Could this be your LAST DAY!?" and it's literally 6 days after Christmas and they're talking about the world ending. It just wasn't a very happy thing... But ya, I mean, I knew people that were all stocking up on Ozarka gallon water bottles and electric generators, but we didn't really do that. I mean, I'm pretty sure we were just gonna go drink out of our neighbor's pool or the Indian Lake Pond and then go mooch off of our friends' generators. But anyway, we never had to worry about that. But it was quite scary!

But anyway yall, if you learn anything from this, let it be to appreciate those things in life that could disappear in a snap (mainly all of your electricity powered products like TV, TiVo, Computer and the Internet).

The Fugitive

2004-08-23T16:31:00.000-05:00

OK well, I have been approached recently about how food-related my most recent posts had been. So I decided that today I wouldn't write about food. Well, at least about me EATING food (cuz technically today's topic is still about food...). So Saturday afternoon I'm at North Park Mall getting my outfit for Showboaters and what not, and as I turn into the Abercrombie and Fitch hall of the mall, I am suddenly startled. There is like, this HUGE bear thing looking at me. As I get closer, I realize that it is not actually a bear, but a CANNED FOOD SCULPTURE of a bear... OK, that's normal, go to North Park, why shouldn't I expect to be seeing large animals made from cans of peas? Well, as I progress down the hall, I also get to see the Brooklynn Bridge, Nemo in a fishbowl, a piggy bank, a putting green, Spongebob Squarepants, and the Dallas Skyline ALL made from cans of green beans, refried beans, yams, tomato paste and all other canned food products. OK so no big deal right? NOOOOOOO. Not with Adam Rucker's luck! As I'm walking besides the giant Nemo, the janitor lady's cart knocks into my bag, causing me not only to fall, but fall INTO the 5,000 can sculpture of the beloved clownfish. GREAT! I am quickly surrounded by a group of Can Sculpture judges, and two police escorts saying they are to remove me from the building...

OK, MAYBE I didn't actually fall into the sculpture and there were no police involved, but you better believe I was afraid I would knock something over the ENTIRE time I was there (because that REALLY is my luck). I had to keep myself atleast three feet away so that I didn't even touch them or bother the judges who were carefully studying each one. And just incase you were wondering (like Amy Mac did this morning when I told her this story), all of the cans were donated to a food shelter after the contest was over and not just completely wasted.

WELL GREAT. Let me tell you about a time when I was really almost wanted by the law (kinda). A few years ago I went to the Titanic traveling exhibit with my godmother when it was at Fair Park, and it was awesome. We looked at all the recovered stuff from the ship and what not that was all in glass cases, then we went to see this HUGE piece of the hull that they pulled up from the bottom of the ocean. OK, so it was like Sunday night and NO ONE was there. So I'm standing there looking at this piece of the Titanic that's just surrounded by some flimsy ropes and signs that say DO NOT TOUCH. I'm like, OK, I'll NEVER get this chance again, so what the heck. I decide that I'm going to TOUCH the Titanic, I mean, no one can say they ever did that! (Except for the people that were actually on it or the people that pulled this piece up from the ocean, but ya, I don't know any of them, so it doesn't matter.) So I look all around to see if there were like, any guards or anything. NOPE! So I like, VERY carefully lean over the rope and quickly touch the Titanic, and move away. Gooood for me. What's funny is that, this old guy across the room from me saw me do it, and then HE looked around and carefully leaned over the rope and touched it too. (I'm such a trendsetter.) Then my godmother's like, OK, if they can both do it. I'm doing it. So she sets her purse down and looks around and all, but she took like WAY too long trying to get over the rope and all of a sudden we hear, "Ma'am back AWAY from the Titanic." Then she like, backs off acting all like she didn't mean to do that, gets her stuff, and we IMMEDIATELY walked out the door. She never got to touch the Titanic... Aww. But I did! And I know that none of yall have. Except maybe Jeremy Garrett. Someone let me know ASAP if Jeremy Garrett has touched the Titanic cuz I would love to know.

I Adam, Take You, Enchilada...

2004-08-22T00:35:00.000-05:00

OK yall, let's just be completely honest here. At this point, I might as well be living in a Mexican food restaurant. Seriously though, I mean, I ate it twice today, and if I would have had breakfast, that would have made it three times (cuz I would have had a breakfast burrito). But if you know me AT all, you know I seriously love the Mexi food. I mean, after all, El Chico's is the place that inspired my family's now six year tradition of weekly reunions. Then you've got your Taco Bell, Taco Cabana, and Chipotle, all of which I usually have at least once a week. Of course, there was the time that I was out getting myself dinner and I couldn't decide between Taco Cabana and Taco Bell. So what did I do? I didn't decide. I just went to both. I know, sad right? Well, I did it anyway so get over it. Yes, I went to Taco Cabana because I like their nachos, and then I went to Taco Bell for their tacos. I ALMOST went across the street to Taco Bueno because I like their Mexi Dips and Chips, but I figured that would just be TOO much. In the past year or so, me and the rest of the Famous Trio discovered Chuy's in Dallas. I had been there once before a few years back but rediscovered it last year. OH MY GOODNESS. Talk about amazing. I mean, these flour tortillas are like heaven in dough form. Top them off with a dip of fresh queso and you are SET. After a few trips there, Logan and I decided that we wanted to purchase the Mexican tortilla lady that was there and just pay her to make tortillas all the time. But of course, there was always the issue of who's house she'd get to live at and what not. It just didn't end up working out. BUT I did decide that when I get in to Oprah-size money some day and can buy anything I want to, I will get one of those tortilla machines like they have at On the Border, and that will serve as the center piece of my house. Anyway, I thought of all this because today I had El Fenix for lunch and Chipotle for dinner... I really think I am a Mexican. Except, like, an albino Mexican because WOW, have you SEEN how white I am?!

Chicken Fried Anything = God's Gift to the World

2004-08-19T17:12:00.000-05:00

Seriously though yall. Anything that's chicken fried is like AMAZING. I mean, you've got your chicken nuggets, chicken fingers, chicken breast, pretty much the entire menu at Chick-Fil-A. But what does "Chicken Fried" REALLY mean? Because you can chicken fry steak, but that just sounds weird to me. SO, I took the time to look up just what "Chicken Fried" REALLY meant. The American Heritage Dictionary defines "Chicken Fried" as: <ADJ: Coated with batter and seasoned flour and fried.> Now, where the chicken got involved with this at all is beyond me. As far as I'm concerned, the chicken could not exist and we'd still have chicken fried steak and such, so why do they get credit for something they had nothing to do with? I think just to be fair, it should be called "Batter Fried", cuz like, WHO wants to have chicken fried Oreos? That just sounds gross (even though they are very tasty). Something I can never accept though is fried pickles. First of all, pickles should just not exist, especially those huge ones at football games; nothing good comes from those. They smell bad, they taste bad, and you make a terrible face while you're eating them because they're so sour. I am however, interested in the fried Twinkies. I've never actually HAD a Twinkie at all, but a fried one sounds really good. But seriously, chicken fried anything, is like AMAZING. Thank God for Chick-Fil-A because WOW, I could eat there all day (but I hardly ever eat there at all because they're all so far away). I also had a recent discovery of fried amazingness which is Chicken Express in Rowlett. It is TRULY incredible. The chicken strips are MY LIFE.

BUT anyway, I wouldn't suggest eating all of the things I've talked about too much though, unless you LIKE having clogged arteries and heart attacks...

Tuesday Night Brawl

2004-08-18T01:20:00.000-05:00

OK, so you might think that the most violent thing you have seen in your life is like, a riot on tv or the battle scenes from The Last Samurai and The Patriot; if so, you haven't been back-to-school shopping at Wal-Mart. The school supply aisles look like a dirty bomb went off in them. I went in looking for one simple item: a folder with brads. In the process I got sideswiped by a shopping cart, tripped on a fallen box of markers, and hit in the face with a pack of jumbo kindergarten pencils (you know, the really thick ones). Trying to find something there is like looking for a needle in a haystack, and you might as well bring shin and elbow guards along with you just incase. Needless to say in all of the chaos I never found my folder with brads, although there was a wide array of folders without brads; from Hello Kitty to Donald Trump. This experience reminded me of the good ole days when mothers were trampled attempting to get the newest Cabbage Patch doll, and more recently, Tickle Me Elmo and Furbys. We actually had reporters getting PAID to bring us the latest news on where those items were available. People waited in enormous lines, took numbers, and kicked and screamed to get the talking dolls that wouldn't shut up unless you locked it in a closet with the lights off...and even then, the Furbys would sometimes start snoring. Did you know that Furbys and Tickle Me Elmos were going for like, HUNDREDS of dollars on Ebay when they were still in there little flings? Nowadays we have all kinds of Elmo dolls including the "Chicken Dance Elmo"... wow.

You know, all of this talk about valuable collectables also reminds me of a time when Beanie Babies were like, INSANE. I mean, there were people that had EVERY Beanie Baby, at my house we only had a select few of ones that we actually WANTED. I mean, some of those things were just UGLY, but they still sold for hundreds of dollars. Weirdly enough, I think the highest attendance at a Ranger Game was when they gave away free Beanie Babies to the first few thousand people. Of course, they all left and then sold them for tons of money on Ebay right after. We also had the "Teanie Beanie Babies" GENIUS! I mean for real, if people are gonna go all psycho anyway, just milk it for all it's worth. Keep in mind though, I'm not making fun of the Beanie Babies, cuz we all had at least one. Oh... those were the good ole days. GOOD ole days.

And last but not least. WHO can forget the Tamagotchi... 5th grade, I remember it very well I think every girl in my class had at least one of each, Giga-pet, Digi-pet, and Tamagotchi. ALL day we would hear, "Ashley, put up your digital baby thing!" and she would reply, "BUT IT WILL DIE IF I DON'T FEED IT." Americans should be punished for falling for this 21st century upgrade to the pet rock. I mean, the pets were NOT REAL, and yet children all over the world had bad dreams at night wondering whether or not their pet was OK or if it needed a bath. Oh goodness... Hehe. Kids are dumb...

The Beginning of the End

2004-08-17T00:40:00.000-05:00

So today was the first day of school for us good ole Garlandites. Actually, it was the first day of school for like, the entire metroplex. But I noticed that like, FOX 4 news apparently has something against Garland because they listed like EVERY district in Texas that started today including like, May Pearl, but they neglected to mention Garland. ANYWAY. So today we get to school right and like, literally within 40 seconds of me walking in the door, I was told to tuck my shirt in. So I get my schedule and go to my first class, English, which apparently I have with the ENTIRE school because everyone was in there except for Deepa. This class made me happy because we turned in our journals and then immediately had a quiz on The Odyssey. Brooke also informed me that Ms. Connell talks, very, slowly... And when she did, I like DIED laughing inside, unfortunately I couldn't ACTUALLY laugh out loud. Then I went to choir which went just fine. Let me tell you though, choir made me sick. Like, literally. I don't know what it was, but like, the whole room smelled like burnt tires. IT SMELLED HORRIBLE, NASTY, RANCID. But anyway, that was just weird. Then I had Showboaters and we're goooooooooooooood. Then I had senior release, and went to Sonic and then went home. Tomorrow will no doubt be much more difficult for me, I mean, I have Economics with Dooley, Choir, and two computer classes... Now, I know you're wondering, did Adam make it through the entire day with his shirt tucked in?!?! Noooooooooope. I was very sneaky about keeping the front tucked in and keeping the back shirt tail covered by my messenger bag... OOO BAD ADAM. You know what? That goes along with the other worst thing I've ever done.

Let me tell you about my "worst thing I've ever done". One time I was going to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Carter, Molly, Bill, and Logan. Keep in mind that my parents knew I was going to see this movie the WHOLE time... So it's rated R right? And of course, they won't just let the older kids buy the ticket for me, so Logan blatantly says, "OK, We'll have 5 for Home on the Range" (the new Disney movie) and we proceed to go into the theater. So then Carter's like, "MAN, I can't believe I just spend $10 on a cartoon!" And I'm just like, "CARTER, we're not ACTUALLY gonna see Home on the Range" and it took him like, 5 minutes to realize that we were just gonna go into the other theater for Eternal Sunshine. So we "sneak" into the theater, and not kidding, Logan and I are like FREAKED out that we'll get caught for sneaking into a different movie. So like, we're imagining different scenarios where theater officials like catch us and are like WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END OF HOME ON THE RANGE? and we're just like I DONT KNOW!!! Of course, if this had actually happened to me, I would have said that the cows win because all Disney movies end happy, and it would just be sad if they killed off the cows. ANYWAY, we were never caught and nothing ever happened to us, but to this day we are still talking about how bad we are for doing that.

As I am writing this, I'm watching the Olympics, something that apparently NO ONE besides me and Whitney are doing. My sister didn't even know the Olympics were on right now until I told her... I realized that I do have an interest in the Olympics though because it is more individual sports than just team sports, I don't really like teams. I've watched some gymnastics and swimming and that's all pretty good. Whitney informed me that she's looking forward to the Handball competition. At least the Summer Olympics don't have the curling competition... I mean REALLY, when I saw curling I thought it was a JOKE, pushing a rock across some ice and like, brushing the ice really fast?! THIS IS A SPORT?! In this case, I could like, go to the Olympics for teeth brushing, I mean, I'm surprised there isn't like, a dog-walking competition if they're all worried about who pushes a stone better.

ANYWAY. I hope everyone had a good first day of school today, I ended mine by going to see Napoleon Dynamite again and then El Fenix... Gooooooood. And in the wise words of Mr. Napoleon Dynamite, "GAAAAAAAAAh, you FREAKIN IDIOT!"

Shaping the Way We Live

2004-08-14T01:56:00.000-05:00

These days, there are certain things that shape the way we live as Americans. Some of these things are our friends, our family, the entertainment industry, church, school, etc. But there is one thing above all that influences us the most. Think about what that thing could be... you got it? Well, if you were thinking commercials, you are absolutely correct. Commercials indeed effect everything about the way we live. They effect what we buy, how we act, how we dress. They also make us laugh, drive us crazy, confuse us, and sometimes send us to a point to where we just want to jump off a cliff rather than ever seeing that commercial again. Kudos to the people who come up with really good advertisements. Now I will tell you some of the ones I like, and the ones that I absolutely hate...

I'll begin with the ones that make me want to hit my head into a slab of concrete and the move on to good ones.

Pepto Bismol: This one wins the trophy, grandprize, best in show (or rather, WORST in show) This is not one of those annoying but standable commercials, no no, it seriously has made my parents consider sending me to the nut house because of what it does to me. They have used the idea of the Macarena with words such as "nausea, heartburn, indegestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea" accompanied by corresponding arm and hand motions. That should tell you enough, it's just wrong, the song and everything really is just... wow, too much.

Chili's: I usually don't have a problem with these commercials, but it just struck me on this one. They show Olympic medal winning gymnast Dominique Dawes on the balance beam and she's singing the "Baby Back Ribs" song. At the end it says something to the effect of, "What drives her to win?" and she finishes her routine by saying the words "barbeque sauce," implying that she was thinking of Chili's the whole time during her routine and that's why she did well. Just like, a weird concept, and WAAAAY cheesy.

Rooms to Go/Freeds Home Furnishing: OK starting with Rooms to Go (which I saw as I was writing this) It's not that it's really annoying, or bad. But they always have to have a couple connecting arms sitting on a couch, telling you about how good the values are at Rooms to Go. Are they trying to make us think that we're having a look inside these peoples' home as if all they do is sit around talking about the values they've had on their furniture. Or are they just people that are like, always in the store that act like it's their home even when it really isn't. Also the guy always seems to be the idiot in these asking questions like, "Are you kidding? No down payment until 2006? How can they do that?" then the wife looks at him like he had just asked the dumbest question in the world. And Freed's Furniture. I'm sorry, but no one goes to Freed's. It's that old ugly brown box building off of the highway. And if you notice in the commercials, it is the SAME lady that walks through the building every time which obviously means she wasn't satisfied with what she had bought before or it just fell apart on delivery. She also flips through their catalogue as if she isn't in the actual showroom and can't see the things in person...

Virgin Mobile: This applies to their radio ads rather than their TV ads. I LOVE their radio commercials. You hear two people that are talking to each other on Virgin Mobile phones, but instead of talking they're scatting and singing every word. Then this guy that's not on Virgin Mobile beeps into one of their phones and it's all staticy and you just hear this white guy that's trying to sound cool and rap/scat and he's like horrible. Then it goes back to the two Virgin Mobilers and they keep singing and make fun of him. I thought it was a very inteligent and different idea... 10 points.

Boost Mobile: WOW, they really score big with this one. It shows all these old people outside having a party at night and they're talking on the phone to each other in ebonics and stuff. It's just REALLY funny because I've heard everything they say but it's just so odd seeing/hearing it coming out of their mouths. I also like the catchphrase at the end "Where you at?"

WOW. I just wrote a lot... But yes, it's true, commercials deeply impact our lives, as they obviously have impacted mine.

Welcome to Preschool Children!!!

2004-08-13T00:51:00.000-05:00

It has come to my attention that some of the kids that I thought were going to be in highschool at the beginning of next week must actually be going into kindergarten. Since this is the case, let me teach you something today little children. Today's lesson is called ACTING MATURE.

I don't know what some of you think, but shoepolishing cars, is no longer "cool". Actually, it never was. When someone shoepolishes a car, what you're doing besides causing the shoepolishee hours of cleaning to get it all off, is slowly ruining their paint and windows. My windows are covered in scratches and some of my paint is permanantly chipped because it is IMPOSSIBLE to remove shoepolish from a car without using some sort of abrasive material. If you have a problem or concern with me, talking to me about it will give you a much better chance of fixing things rather than painting an idiotic phrase all over my car...

So if we learn one thing today children, let's learn that acting immature and vandalizing other peoples' belongings probably isn't the best way to solve things.

Glasses: Window to Genius

2004-08-11T01:09:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wish I had a good pair of glasses. No need for a prescription, just glasses. I will always see someone that has a really GOOD pair of glasses on that just makes them look like they know everything. I mean, I love my great vision don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think that if I had glasses, when I put them on I'd be more willing to work. Like a worker when they put on their gloves, they didn't put them on for fun, they put them on for WORK. I think if I wore glasses sometimes I'd look/feel smarter, but with my luck, I'd probably just look like a nerd. Ehh. Anyway, not much for me to say on this one, more of just a comment.

Forget Jail, Send Martha to South!

2004-08-10T01:05:00.000-05:00

With a new school year and a new principal, comes many new changes at South Garland High School. Sources have told me many of these new changes we should expect when we come to school this year.

* ALL shirts must be tucked in at ALL times. (That's pretty self-explanatory)

* GUM will not be allowed

* 2nd, 3rd, and 4th lunches must be walked to the lunchroom by teachers

* IDs will be required at all times although not necessarily worn at all times

Get ready folks, we're gonna have a FUN this year!!! All rules are assumed to be followed the entire year and not fizzle out like all of the other rules that we have had introduced to us in the past.

One more note: you freshmen, sophmores, and juniors out there get ready because the rumor is that next year South Garland will be a uniform-wearing school!!! woohoo.

VHS- RECYCLE THE WORLD!!!

2004-08-10T00:28:00.000-05:00

You know what? VHS tapes are OUT, they're gone, get rid of them. Don't feel too bad if you still have them though, cuz I have a feeling DVD's won't be around as long as the ancient VHS. In this current day of Tivo-like innovations, I have a feeling movies and such will no longer be in the physical form but all digital. Tivo has announced that the new model will be able to send shows and movies to other Tivo sets via internet. This could be the new way we purchase things; buying movies through our internet-connected TVs and onto a digital hard drive. When you want things to be portable, movies can be transfered to tiny digital camera-like computer chips. I mean after all, DVD's are much smaller and less annoying than big ole video tapes, but even then there is still the risk of damaging them very easily with just a tiny scratch. It only makes sense that movies and other media should be available on little chips. ANYWAY back to VHS. Did you notice how they gently slid VHS out of our lives? It first started where a new movie would be available on "Home Video and DVD" then it became "DVD and Video" and now it has become "Own it on DVD rent it on video" It's like they're almost embarrassed to say that it's available on video tape.

Anyway, a final thought on this subject is this: It is now time to MOVE OAIN (on). If you haven't made the change yet, DO IT, it's simple and easy. The best way to completely move on and have closure is to get rid of those VHS's. You can do this a number of ways. Donate to your local GoodWill store (which I dont even know if THEY want VHS anymore), throw them in the trash, or give them to me to sell on Ebay. OK, I'm done. BYE

PS. Keep your Disney Videotapes though. They could be worth money, and not all Disney Classics are available on DVD just yet.

Home Stretch

2004-08-07T12:44:00.000-05:00

That's right, only one week left of your summer. Did you get done what you wanted to? I pretty much did, I went to Six Flags, went to LA, avoided my summer reading as long as I possibly could, played video games, saw about 30 movies (literally), worked a children's camp, etc. I mean, I will honestly say this has been my busiest summer (which some would say that isn't saying much, but oh well). One thing that I had intended to do this summer that didn't happen was change my screen name. Yes, ajruck2000 has actually been around since the year 2000. I wanted to get that out in the open, I didn't use "2000" as some means to make it sound like I was some spaceship or something, like the AdamRucker2000 Moonlander. Nothing like that, I just made that screen name between 7th and 8th grade which happened to be 2000. Now, I must say though, my screen name although is obviously "dated", there is another person's screen name that has definetely worn out its welcome. That is the screen name of Miss Whitney Redman. Yes, originated at the time of the first Charlie's Angels movie, this screen name has definetely been around too long. I mean, throughout its lifetime we've seen a sequel to Charlie's Angels (where they ditch Bill Murray for Bernie Mac), Drew Barrymore has been married like 4 times, Cameron Diaz has hooked up with Justin Timberlake, and Lucy Lui has not really done much of anything. Maybe if we all band together, we can see a change happen in the screen name world. This gigantic task however, can not be achieved alone, everyone must help and fight for your right for decent screen names.

Oh anyway, I'm sure everyone is tired of my bickering. So for now, so long, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Grammar Lesson

2004-08-06T01:16:00.000-05:00

OK today children, we will learn about apostrophes, specifically when they come after "s"s. I have noticed lately that a lot of people don't know the true use of them when referring to names that end with an "s". For example if I were to say that something belonged to the Collins family, I would say that it was the "Collins's". Yes, indeed there are two "s"s. Contrary to popular belief, in this case it would NOT appear, "Collins'" where the apostrophe is not followed by another "s". Now, if I were to say that something belonged to the girls, I would say that it was the "girls'". See, it's quite simple, all you have to do is say it out loud, if it sounds like there's two "s"s, then there probably are. SO here are two final examples:

The plate of spoiled rotten food was Alexis's.

That is the girls' pack of rabid dogs.

Let me also add, that I HATE it when people substitute the word "your" for the word "you're". NO they are NOT the same, they are two completely different words. "Your" refers to items that belong to you. "You're" is the combination of "you" and "are". Please, don't be SO lazy that you cannot simply add an apostrophe and an "e" to make "your", "you're". SAVE US ALL.

Day of Sadness

2004-08-05T11:58:00.000-05:00

We have all indeed suffered a tremendous loss. Yes, that loss is Colonel Camp, well at least the seniors have lost that. Today was my last time to do Colonel Camp and it actually went very well. Cassie, me, Shayna, and Mark all went to the rooms and sang to the little children. Some of them were very lively and exciting while others were very quiet and reserved. I didn't know any of them but Shayna apparently knows EVERY freshman boy. Any way, it was fun while it lasted and Whitney did a great job running it all, WOOHOO!!!

RIP COLONEL CAMP, WE WILL MISS YOU (except for all the underclassmen that have to do it again next year)

The Simple Life

2004-08-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

I have nothing to say. Why you ask? Because nothing really funny has happened to me lately. Although the thought of me having to read and do journals on The Odyssey in less than two weeks IS kinda funny, but I think we're all in the same boat there. Speaking of boats, I like them. I can't say that I enjoy canoe-type boats as much as motor boats and jet skis because it's obvious, canoes take some sort of effort. Not that I don't like to expend energy, but these days energy is so scarce that it might not be in our best interest to waste it on simply rowing across a lake when you could easily have a motor do it. Speaking of motors, horse power, where did it come from? Well, I assume that long ago in the days of horses and buggies, horses were considered the "motor" of those times. So when motors came along they based their strength on how many horses it would take to do the job. Although I don't see how that is possible, I mean, I'm sure all horses have their different strong points. And if you haven't noticed, there are many sizes of horses out there that I'm sure could not all do the same job. So calling it "horsepower" really is a lie and they know it. When I was younger I used to think that there were actually miniature horses in engines that would run around in circles producing power (much like the exhibit at the museum where you ride the bike and it makes the lightbulb light up). BUT that unfortunately is not true. I mean what was I thinking, horses in a motor? I was really dumb back then I mean it's obvious that it would be WAY too hard to get their food inside the motor.

Did I ever tell you the story about the 24 hour ATM? No, I didn't. Well, one time we were out to dinner with some friends of ours and they told us this story about their grandpa. Apparently they had gone to the ATM with him really late at night. The grandpa was like "Why are we here so late? They shouldn't be open this late." And they were like "No, grandpa it's open 24 hours so we can go whenever." And the grandpa was like, "MAN, they must get so tired being open 24 hours!"... YA, he thought that there were actually people sitting INSIDE the ATM that took the cards, and handed the money out through the little holes.

ANYWAY, enough stories for me.

Reality Rocks

2004-08-03T19:14:00.000-05:00

OK yall, really I love almost every reality show that there is. Here are some of my current recommendations:

The Amazing Race (Tuesday 9pm CBS): Eleven teams race around the world trying to be the first to each destination. In the end the winning team wins a million dollars. Teams are made up of people with different kinds of relationships such as the Bowling Moms, Cousins, Brothers, Twins, Married, Dating and so forth. Charla and Mirna are pretty much the best part of this show and Charla is always very entertaining because she's so good. A++

Amish in the City (Wednesday UPN): This show is awesome. OK so 5 Amish people move to LA into a mansion with 6 city kids. So far all of the city kids are just completely rude to the Amish people who are completely new to this way of living. It's really weird to see people that look normal that haven't experienced half of the things that non-Amish consider normal. Gooood show.

Trading Spouses: Meet your new mommy (Tuesday FOX): Awesome show where two families' moms switch places and rule the house how they want to. Last week's was really funny just because Amila was so nice to her new family and Tammy was just rude. Anyway WATCH IT.

Other shows that I currently do not have time to talk about are The Apprentice and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Anyway, watch all of these shows. You will not be disappointed.

What is "El Chico" night you ask?

2004-08-03T16:18:00.000-05:00

El Chico night was founded when I was in the 6th grade and is continuing on into its 7th year (if my math is right). Originally my immediate family and g-pa would go to El Chico's on wednesday nights to enjoy their awesome enchilada special. Little did we know that we would continue on this tradition EVERY single week. Eventually we added my aunt and uncle from Arlington and my g-pa's wife Norma. So for many years we continued to go to El Chico each and every wednesday night for a mini family reunion. This was a huge change since we only used to see each other on the holidays and occasionally other times throughout the year. Last year however, this tradition changed. We decided that due to church and other activities the dinner would sit better on tuesday nights. It took a while to get used to, but we're OK now. Along with the change of date came along the change of venue. Now, every week someone different gets to pick wherever we go to eat (other places include Chipotle, Spring Creek BBQ, Pei Wei, Ole Whiskers, Applebee's and many more). Never the less, it is still known as "El Chico Night" no matter where we eat.

Goo Gone is MY LIFE

2004-08-03T11:43:00.000-05:00

OK today I would like to announce my official endorsement of Goo Gone. This product has truly saved my life. Over the past few weeks I have been shoepolished by people who are too afraid to admit who they are. Such phrases as "Tivo Stinks" and "Tivo Sucks" were written on my car at the SAME TIME. Then today I pleasantly woke up to find "Go back to Mexico. Arriba!" on my car... Anyway, forget the fact that this is completely bizarre, after this I discovered the wonder of Goo Gone. I had used Goo Gone before to get duct tape residue off of my car and was very satisfied, however I had no idea that it would also work wonders on shoe polish. I spent about 20 minutes scrubbing with water and soap to get the writing off, however that did not work. So I found my Goo Gone, gave it a spray on the window, and literally, the polish came off with the gentle wipe of a rag. I am very pleased with Goo Gone, and you will be too. GO BUY SOME!!!

2004-08-02T19:24:00.000-05:00

La Cienega

Hollywood, California

2004-08-02T19:21:00.000-05:00

OK so I went to LA a few weeks ago, and haven't really said much about it, so here goes. It was awesome. The first day we went to good ole Hollywood... Ya, DONT GO TO HOLLYWOOD. If you wanna see it, like, drive by in a locked car, EXTREMELY fast... no no, you dont literally have to do that, but ya, dont be disapointed because it's really ghetto. The only nice part is Hollywood and Highland, home of the now cancelled On Air with Ryan Seacrest.

Second day we went to Universal Studios which was incredibly awesome. Really, I loved it. If you go, get the FRONT OF THE LINE PASS which means you literally wait in no lines. If you dont get those passes, you'll be hating the people like me who had them the entire day, and most likely wont get to ride a lot of rides. I liked all of the rides and shows there, really you should go.

Last day we went to Santa Monica Beach all day... Ya, WEAR SUNSCREEN. I am still peeling. TWO WEEKS LATER. I should have learned from my imfamous Vail, Colorado trip to put on sunscreen all day, but ya I didn't. Anyway, that was a fun day and I'm a really good boogie boarder now. hehe

On the picture titled "La Cienega" you will find the street in LA which I found that is clearly the namesake for the character on the Proud Family named "Lacienega Boulevardez" I was very proud of myself for noticing this

My Recommended Movies

2004-08-02T19:10:00.000-05:00

OK we're gonna start from the top.

The Village: I liked this movie. It really depends on how you see it. I went in totally expecting something different than what I saw. Don't go in expecting to be scared or you will be disappointed. Just go in looking for a good movie and you will be fine. 6th sense is better though...

Collateral: I LOVED this movie. It's awesome and definetely very freaky. You will spend the next few hours after seeing it, suspecting that you might get shot at any given moment. Make sure and go to the bathroom BEFORE the movie unlike me so the second hour doesn't seem to take a whole day. GO SEE IT THIS FRIDAY

The Princess Diaries 2: Yes, I saw it, get over it. It was also very enjoyable, very funny and amusing. If you liked the first movie, you'll probably like the second one too.

Napoleon Dynamite: WOW, just go see it. It's like, completely bizarre, and doesn't make sense a lot of the time, but it is REALLY funny. You will find yourself imitating his mannerisms and sayings after the movie. If you dont wanna see the movie, then just DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO OK!? GAAAAAAAAAAH...

Anchorman: It's an SNL movie with Will Ferrell so of course it's funny. I particularly liked the scene that literally EVERY ACTOR THAT HAS BEEN IN ANY MOVIE EVER was in.

Let's get this started

2004-08-02T18:51:00.000-05:00

OK, so everyone was doing this "Xanga" thing, and I just thought, no, I'm not going to fall into the peer pressure of making a "Xanga" journal thing like everyone else. Also, due to my excessive watching of VH1, I noticed that the new hip thing to do was create "Blogs" so I decided I would officially be the first person I knew to create a blog, and let everyone else follow after me. So ya, feel free to copy, just know that I truly started this one...