Tuesday Night Brawl

OK, so you might think that the most violent thing you have seen in your life is like, a riot on tv or the battle scenes from The Last Samurai and The Patriot; if so, you haven't been back-to-school shopping at Wal-Mart. The school supply aisles look like a dirty bomb went off in them. I went in looking for one simple item: a folder with brads. In the process I got sideswiped by a shopping cart, tripped on a fallen box of markers, and hit in the face with a pack of jumbo kindergarten pencils (you know, the really thick ones). Trying to find something there is like looking for a needle in a haystack, and you might as well bring shin and elbow guards along with you just incase. Needless to say in all of the chaos I never found my folder with brads, although there was a wide array of folders without brads; from Hello Kitty to Donald Trump. This experience reminded me of the good ole days when mothers were trampled attempting to get the newest Cabbage Patch doll, and more recently, Tickle Me Elmo and Furbys. We actually had reporters getting PAID to bring us the latest news on where those items were available. People waited in enormous lines, took numbers, and kicked and screamed to get the talking dolls that wouldn't shut up unless you locked it in a closet with the lights off...and even then, the Furbys would sometimes start snoring. Did you know that Furbys and Tickle Me Elmos were going for like, HUNDREDS of dollars on Ebay when they were still in there little flings? Nowadays we have all kinds of Elmo dolls including the "Chicken Dance Elmo"... wow.

You know, all of this talk about valuable collectables also reminds me of a time when Beanie Babies were like, INSANE. I mean, there were people that had EVERY Beanie Baby, at my house we only had a select few of ones that we actually WANTED. I mean, some of those things were just UGLY, but they still sold for hundreds of dollars. Weirdly enough, I think the highest attendance at a Ranger Game was when they gave away free Beanie Babies to the first few thousand people. Of course, they all left and then sold them for tons of money on Ebay right after. We also had the "Teanie Beanie Babies" GENIUS! I mean for real, if people are gonna go all psycho anyway, just milk it for all it's worth. Keep in mind though, I'm not making fun of the Beanie Babies, cuz we all had at least one. Oh... those were the good ole days. GOOD ole days.

And last but not least. WHO can forget the Tamagotchi... 5th grade, I remember it very well I think every girl in my class had at least one of each, Giga-pet, Digi-pet, and Tamagotchi. ALL day we would hear, "Ashley, put up your digital baby thing!" and she would reply, "BUT IT WILL DIE IF I DON'T FEED IT." Americans should be punished for falling for this 21st century upgrade to the pet rock. I mean, the pets were NOT REAL, and yet children all over the world had bad dreams at night wondering whether or not their pet was OK or if it needed a bath. Oh goodness... Hehe. Kids are dumb...