The Fugitive

OK well, I have been approached recently about how food-related my most recent posts had been. So I decided that today I wouldn't write about food. Well, at least about me EATING food (cuz technically today's topic is still about food...). So Saturday afternoon I'm at North Park Mall getting my outfit for Showboaters and what not, and as I turn into the Abercrombie and Fitch hall of the mall, I am suddenly startled. There is like, this HUGE bear thing looking at me. As I get closer, I realize that it is not actually a bear, but a CANNED FOOD SCULPTURE of a bear... OK, that's normal, go to North Park, why shouldn't I expect to be seeing large animals made from cans of peas? Well, as I progress down the hall, I also get to see the Brooklynn Bridge, Nemo in a fishbowl, a piggy bank, a putting green, Spongebob Squarepants, and the Dallas Skyline ALL made from cans of green beans, refried beans, yams, tomato paste and all other canned food products. OK so no big deal right? NOOOOOOO. Not with Adam Rucker's luck! As I'm walking besides the giant Nemo, the janitor lady's cart knocks into my bag, causing me not only to fall, but fall INTO the 5,000 can sculpture of the beloved clownfish. GREAT! I am quickly surrounded by a group of Can Sculpture judges, and two police escorts saying they are to remove me from the building...

OK, MAYBE I didn't actually fall into the sculpture and there were no police involved, but you better believe I was afraid I would knock something over the ENTIRE time I was there (because that REALLY is my luck). I had to keep myself atleast three feet away so that I didn't even touch them or bother the judges who were carefully studying each one. And just incase you were wondering (like Amy Mac did this morning when I told her this story), all of the cans were donated to a food shelter after the contest was over and not just completely wasted.

WELL GREAT. Let me tell you about a time when I was really almost wanted by the law (kinda). A few years ago I went to the Titanic traveling exhibit with my godmother when it was at Fair Park, and it was awesome. We looked at all the recovered stuff from the ship and what not that was all in glass cases, then we went to see this HUGE piece of the hull that they pulled up from the bottom of the ocean. OK, so it was like Sunday night and NO ONE was there. So I'm standing there looking at this piece of the Titanic that's just surrounded by some flimsy ropes and signs that say DO NOT TOUCH. I'm like, OK, I'll NEVER get this chance again, so what the heck. I decide that I'm going to TOUCH the Titanic, I mean, no one can say they ever did that! (Except for the people that were actually on it or the people that pulled this piece up from the ocean, but ya, I don't know any of them, so it doesn't matter.) So I look all around to see if there were like, any guards or anything. NOPE! So I like, VERY carefully lean over the rope and quickly touch the Titanic, and move away. Gooood for me. What's funny is that, this old guy across the room from me saw me do it, and then HE looked around and carefully leaned over the rope and touched it too. (I'm such a trendsetter.) Then my godmother's like, OK, if they can both do it. I'm doing it. So she sets her purse down and looks around and all, but she took like WAY too long trying to get over the rope and all of a sudden we hear, "Ma'am back AWAY from the Titanic." Then she like, backs off acting all like she didn't mean to do that, gets her stuff, and we IMMEDIATELY walked out the door. She never got to touch the Titanic... Aww. But I did! And I know that none of yall have. Except maybe Jeremy Garrett. Someone let me know ASAP if Jeremy Garrett has touched the Titanic cuz I would love to know.