EVERYTHING is a Dollar

I wasn't introduced to the wonder that is $1 stores until just a couple of years ago. I mean, of course I've been to Dollar General but ironically everything in there is NOT a dollar. The first time I went to Sam's $1, (by the Fiesta grocery store), it LITERALLY changed my life. They have EVERYTHING. Not kidding. You want a statue of a black Jesus? Well there's one at Sam's $1, in fact, there are like, 50. Now, how much do you think this holy statue would be? $50? $100? Noooooooo. ONE DOLLAR. That's it! EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS $1!!!! How do they do it? On my first trip to that store, I think I asked my friend how much each and every thing in the store was and they were like "IT'S ONE FREAKIN DOLLAR. WHICH IS WHY IT'S CALLED SAM'S ONE DOLLAR!" Sometimes I go in there just to get a good laugh. There's some stuff in there that I can't tell what it is at ALL but I still buy it cuz it's like the funniest thing ever. Then I just give it to someone for their birthday! One of my funnier purchases there was this bag of "Assorted Balloons." It ended up that these were like, the reject balloons that no one wanted. I pulled out balloons that were like, "Feliz Cumpleaños!!!" and others that said "HAPPY YEAR 2000!!!" (which I purchased in 2004) Then there were more balloons that were very awkwardly shaped and had ugly birds on them. Needless to say, the balloons made me happy, and were well worth the $1 my parents worked for in order to buy them.

If gift certificates existed for Sam's $1, I'd ask for them for Christmas. Not even joking. The thing about the $1 store is that they are so honest and straight-forward. For instance, the last time I was there I purchased a tray of paper like, just little cut pieces of paper to write lists and stuff on. This was OF COURSE, only a dollar, but what I liked best about it was that there was no gimmick to it. The name it had on the cover sheet was TRAY OF PAPER. There was no fancy title or pictures, it simply said TRAY OF PAPER. I also bought a blue knock-off of the LIVESTRONG bracelet (can currently be seen on my left arm weekdays from 7am-9pm and weekends 7am- 11pm) that says BE-STRONG...

Ahh yes, the Dollar store makes me happy... now, this is not to be confused with the 99 cent store. They aren't that good. Yes, everything is 99 cents, but that only makes your bill like, 10 cents cheaper depending on how much you buy, and that's just not worth giving up all the quality of the dollar store for a measley 10 cents now is it?

So anyway, just know that next time you need to get someone a really cool gift for their birthday or Christmas or something, don't waste your money at Target or Walmart, just go to Sam's $1... after all, you can buy them like, 50 things and they're really the best/FUNNIEST gifts EVER...

*MINI BONUS*
If you don't know my grandmother (who, in order to protect her identity, I will just refer to her as G-mama) you're missing out. Long ago, before settling back in Dallas, my G-mama and G-papa were explorers in the Amazon. This was of course before my dad was born. My G-mama often collected specimens in tanks and lived in her RV in the middle of the forest to get the "full rainforest experience." Now for me, the Rainforest Cafe is enough "rainforest experience" for me, I don't need to be surrounded by bugs and rabid animals to feel happy. But she and my G-papa prefered this way of living. Anyway, with the birth of my dad, things had to settle down a bit more, they had a child to raise now, a human life in their hands. So, in order to be more "normal", my G-papa insisted on moving OUT of the RV an into a real home. This resulted in the immediate building of a tree house in the middle of the forest to make things more "normal." Now, my dad didn't have a nanny or anything fancy like that, my G-parents got help from the locals there in the forest. It ended up that since the G-parents had to go out and explore a lot, my dad was raised by gorillas. I know, funny right? RAISED BY GORILLAS! HE MUST BE TARZAN! But that's just not true, the gorillas had more of an Indian name for him. "Funny White Boy" they would call him. Sadly enough my father didn't realize that they were making fun of him by calling him this, so he just went along with it.

Anyway, to make a long story short, my father was raised by monkeys. But that's not the really important part. My G-parents finally REALLY settled down when they moved into a house in Euless, the only catch though to moving was that my G-papa had to promise my G-mama that she could have a pond in the backyard. She didn't tell him that it was for the BABY ANACONDA that she smuggled into the United States claiming it was her "newborn" and strategically covering it up on the plane with children's clothing and by reading it stories. (She claims it wasn't bad since she saw Lucy do it on I Love Lucy with a giant piece of cheese. Apparently she doesn't know the difference between an anaconda and cheese...) So ya, the anaconda has gotten bigger and bigger and currently wraps around the house 4 times and can't really move. But it wouldn't hurt a fly! It's really sad when all the representation anacondas get are these horrible movies about them killing people and eating them and junk... I mean, there was one time when my cousin got bit, but she only lost one leg, she can still walk and everything, no biggie...
*END OF BONUS*