Monday, August 30, 2004

And the Award Goes To...

OH MY GOODNESS. So I just finished watching the VMA's that I had recorded last night... Was that a joke? Like, really, are the real ones gonna come on tonight and have like, ACTUAL music? I felt like I was taking part in an episode of Punk'd more than I was watching a music awards show. Hopefully Ashton will come on TV tonight to tell us that they were all just kidding.

Seriously though, let's just start from the beginning. Usher: WORST LIP SYNCHER EVER. It was SO completely obvious that none of those words were coming out of his mouth. And FYI MTV, when electrical equipment gets wet, it shocks the person holding it, so ya it was DEFINETELY not live when he's holding a mic in pouring rain... BUT anyway. Next we had Hoobastank who, HoobaSTUNK. They did teach me something though with their performance. Now I know that next time I'm singing on stage and just don't feel like hitting the high notes, I can simply aim the mic at the audience during various parts of the song and make them sing it! Ya, they were just BAD. Also throughout the night we had P. Diddy who officially LIVES on TV. Literally I haven't turned it on once where he hasn't been on. He has even been on OPRAH. That says a lot...

Oh, I love people that are just crazy. Like Fergie from Black Eyed Peas. After I saw her at the awards, I sent her a letter. It simply said, "Hey Fergie, you're white!" The girl is convinced that she is all ghetto, but no, no Fergie, you aren't. And then there's Lil John. Or rather, NOT so Lil John, even Lil Bow Wow gave up the "Lil" part of his name when he turned like, 14. I think if Karen Walker from Will & Grace was a real person, Lil John and her would be best friends. I believe he is REALLY the most drunk person in this world. Every screen shot of him had him holding some alcoholic beverage. However, it is obvious to me after hearing Lil John's screaming, I mean singing, in real life, he truly is a musical prodigy. Which leads me to my next point. Children, if you want to become a good singer, just scream out the notes, or you can just roll the notes a thousand times making each word you sing last about three minutes. Apparently the longer the rolling, the better you are, that's just something I've noticed.

Beyonce was there! Of course she was, right along with her boyfriend Mr. Jay Z. and her wig. You probably couldn't see, but her hair piece actually had a separate seat next to her for when she wasn't on camera. Seriously, her hair was bigger than Reba's ever was, and that says a LOT. Oh ya! Marc Anthony was also there! Wait, who IS Marc Anthony??? OHHH that's right, J. Lo's new husband. So there's another thing kids! If you want to be noticed by MTV, just marry J. Lo!

Another person who graced the screen was CHAKA KHAN. I've actually never seen her before except when she was on Hollywood Squares, but I love saying her name. She was on with Kanye West and his hip-hop gospel choir. That was just, WOW... Fat Joe also performed his hit LEAN BACK, although, I think out of the whole thing, I heard just the two words, "LEAN BACK" because the rest were all bleeped out. Then came Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I was HOPING for them to perform a song from their hit "You're Invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley's School Dance Party" (It seriously couldn't have been any worse than the rest of the acts) but all they did was present. Jessica Simpson then flew down in a Glinda-type bubble that looked like it was equipped for a wedding. Then she proceeded to umm, not sing, not even scream, I guess I call it SQUEEZE out her song WITH YOU. You know that noise a balloon makes when you pull the two ends of the hole apart? It sounded like that. Then at the end for some reason she thought it would sound good to pretend she had just inhaled helium. Even though we did have to listen to Jessica, I will thank MTV for this: NOT MAKING US SIT THROUGH AN ASHLEE SIMPSON SONG. I mean, really.

Let's see, what else happened. Oh ya, WHY was Bruce Willis there? Don't you love it when celebrities randomly just show up. He was kinda like the Paris Hilton of the night, no one really knew why he was there, he just sat with P. Diddy the whole time and danced to the rap songs. I guess they're "homies". There was also some guy that got onto the stage in a giant hampster ball, and while this was happening, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to see Lil John in it. I bet that would be pretty funny. OK, and then at the end I REALLY thought this was a joke. Like, the Brady kids performed in these giant robes. I was confused. But honestly not surprised after what I had already seen...

I must say though that out of everything, Christina Aguilera did OK on her song, and Alicia Keys did really good on hers. So they were pretty good. Also, WOOHOO for Maroon 5 winning Best New Artist Video. OH, and also, I wanted to commend MTV for their choice of making Mandy Moore and Marilyn Manson presenting partners. They really had some chemistry flowing.

All in all, those awards were just sad. Although, the most disappointing thing of the night was the new Gap commercial. Here they are, building it up for weeks and weeks and it ended up being just kinda weird. I don't know, it just didn't get me like some of their other ones. My ALL TIME favorite of course being a couple of years ago at Christmas, the LOVE TRAIN commercial. That
was truly great.

So ya, I'm tired from writing all this and sitting through all three hours of those awards. Although, they started late so TiVo missed the last three minutes, which I'm actually very happy about cuz I was about ready to jump in a lake.

Here are ACTUAL lyrics from verse three of Fat Joe and the Terror Squad's "Lean Back":

Even Lil' Bow Wow throwin it up
B2K crip walkin like that's what's up!
Kay keep tellin me to speak about the Rucker
Matter of fact, I don't wanna speak about the Rucker
Not even Pee Wee Kirkland could imagine this
My *peeps* didn't have to play to win the championship, come on!

All words are the actual lyrics except for "peeps" which I had to change! Apparently Fat Joe has something against "the Rucker."

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Shark Attack!

OK so today I saw Open Water. Very scary and also very sad... Twas a good movie though. I won't go into too much depth though for those who have yet to see it. All I can say is I hate things lurking around in the water with you. I'm always afraid at the lake that some giant catfish is gonna like brush across my leg, and if it did I would scream SO loud. But ya, I can say that because the guy across the cove from us caught like, a 60 pound catfish a couple of weeks ago and those are HUGE. OK OK OK. TRUE STORY and this is like SCARY. So I'm tubing right? I don't really know who with, but never the less, there were two of us on separate tubes just going along and then all of a sudden the boat cuts off. I'm like DAAAAAAAAAAD! WHY'D YOU CUT THE BOAT OFF?! and he's like, I DIDN'T! So I just assume that he's accidentally moved the throttle the wrong way or something, but like, it will NOT start back up. So it's just like, GREAAAAAAAT, we're just SITTING in the middle of the lake with nothing to do. Then, all of a sudden like, 30 feet in front of my tube, I see this head, slivering through the water (THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT JUST THINKING ABOUT IT). I'm like OH, NO. There is a HUGE snake swimming toward me. YES, I am totally NOT kidding. So ya, I look closer, and like, his back is like, chopped off. We RAN OVER AN EIGHT FOOT LONG SNAKE in the lake. So I'm just like WHAT do I do now?! I don't want to be in the lake with a snake. So we pull the tubes back in and we're just sitting in the boat now, watching this snake. So we yell at our neighbor, Paul, and he know's exactly what to do. He pulls out his shotgun and SHOOTS the snake. Good Ole Lake... So ya, the snake's dead, but you never know what still lies beneath!

Oh yes, I have ANOTHER snake story. A few years ago we were down at my dad's friend Eddie's ranch in Mason, Texas. My dad and I were four-wheeling around the ranch when I see this brown thing moving in the trees. I'm like, DAD I think I just saw a rattle snake. So we went back to that tree and looked in the bushes around it. Surely enough, there's a big ole rattle snake. So my dad gets out the revolver... Oh yes, fun fun. So, the snake gets shot in the head. But we can't just leave it there! NOOOOOOOO we have to take it WITH us! So, we strap this "dead" rattlesnake onto the front of the 4-wheeler. So we're just riding along when all of a sudden, this DEAD snake, starts pullin its head up at us! Like, it's getting in the biting position. A DEAD snake. That we SHOT. IN THE HEAD. So we stop to like, make sure it's actually dead. It ends up that we have to remove its head to ensure our safety. So we get BACK on the 4-wheeler and are heading back to the cabin. Surely enough, the DEAD snake with NO HEAD starts pulling up it's headless neck at us! I'm pretty sure I just screamed really loud when this happened. Then I realized that a dead, headless snake can do NOTHING to harm you. So we got back to the cabin just fine. I mean really though, how embarrassing would that be to say that you got bit by a snake with no head.

BUT ANYWAY, back to the point of this entry. Sharks. Does anyone remember the game SHARK ATTACK! I do. I used to play it all the time. Actually, I don't think I've ever played the actual game, it was more like, you just set the pieces out and made the shark eat them up. No one REALLY cared how to play the game. Just like Mouse Trap. Like, has ANYONE ever PLAYED Mouse Trap??? Cuz by the time you get all the junk set up, you just want to roll the marble down the thing and get it over with. Another classic game was Hungry Hungry Hippos, which I realized later in life, requires no actual SKILL. You could sit there and hit that lever a thousand times and only get one ball, or you could hit it once and get like, four. I never won that game... BUT one game that I was GOOD at was GUESS WHO. I LOVED that game. Let me tell you though. Some of those people were UGLY. Like the guy with white hair and a white beard had HUGE lips. Also the lady with the flowered hat and red hair was just not normal looking. But yes, I enjoyed that game very much. I don't think anyone even plays board games anymore besides like, Monopoly, but we all know that takes like, a year to finish if there's no cheating involved.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Death of a Salesman

OK listen, this does NOT mean that I want all salespeople to die, it just made for a very catchy title! OK, so today I went BACK to North Park because I had to change the color of my shirt that I bought the other day (no, I didn't knock any of the canned food sculptures down). So I go into Express right? I'm looking through the shirts to find my size and everything and one of the sales people creeps up from behind me and is like CAN I HELP YOU FIND A SIZE?! (scared me to DEATH) And first of all I'm like, ok, turn your voice down, and then second, "no thanks, I just found it." I don't know what he wanted me to do, like, sit and wait on him as he looked through the stack for me? It's not like he's my servant or I'm physically unable to find the shirt myself. So anyway, I got the shirt exchanged and everything and then I went to the Gap. Literally, 3 seconds after I walk in the door I hear, "Can I help you find something sir?!" Then I politely say "no thanks" again. But like seriously, do I looked like I'm constantly distressed or something? Do I always look desperately in need? I mean, the next time someone asks me if I need help at a store, I'll just say "Yes!" and make them go EVERYWHERE with me. I'll make them flip through the racks for me, hold all of my clothes, and wait in the cashier line. I mean, I guess that's what they want, they're in constant need of helping some one. Except one of the workers today at Gap was standing there folding the SAME shirt like, 4 times in a row so they looked busy. I guess they just weren't in the "Helping" mood... The sad thing is, if you actually ask them for help, like getting a shirt in the back, they think that makes them your friend. Then they really do start going everywhere in the store with you and telling you what you should buy. If they want to be all buddy buddy with me then they need to give me their employee discount and they're free to act like my friend (just so long as they don't actually try and talk to me). The guy at Express tried to get me to buy some pants and I was like, "No thanks" and he KEPT ON TRYING. "But sir, they're SoOo comfortable! They're really nice!" When I had JUST said that I didn't need pants. Ahhh. But don't get me wrong, I understand that it's their job to badger you into buying clothes and they're just trying to help you when they tell you that your shoes don't match your shirt, but sometimes it's better for them to just keep their mouths shut.

OK all of this clothing store stuff reminded me of something else. HOLLISTER CHANGING "ROOMS". WHAT THE HECK. It's like, a SHEET on a ROD that separates you from the next person. Like, easily the person next to you could open their cloth and accidentally (or NOT accidentally) open yours, exposing you to the world. It JUST disturbs me. Also, I think it's odd how they have it perfectly lit to where inside the "room" you look perfectly tan (because there's barely any light) and outside, you can see the sillhouette on the curtain. It's just all a little too risqué for me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004


OK let me just start off by saying that CLUB HILL ELEMENTARY NEEDS TO GET UP AND MOVE. I can not go one more day spending 15 minutes just WAITING in the middle of the street for all the little children to be picked up. I usually have to drive on the left side of the road to get by all of the parents that just decided that they are more important than everyone else, so they just stop on the road, waiting to turn into the school. But today, I wanted to bypass that so I went down Oak Hill and came up Merrimac so I would just miss all of the traffic in front of the school. But NOOOOOOOOOO the car at the front of the line at the stop sign decides that the stop sign would be a GREAT place to wait on their kid. So it's seriously like, 10 minutes until i just LAY on the horn... Thankfully, they moved after that but OH MY GOODNESS. THE MADNESS OF IT ALL. Isn't that like, against the law anyway? To just STOP in the middle of the street. WOW. I just hate Club Hill for that.

SO once I finally get home, I'm all good right? NOOOOOOOOPE. The power's out. The garage door will not come up and I don't know where my keys are. Finally I get in and obviously, NOTHING works, and the computer is beeping repeatedly (which scares my dog Sandie, causing her to follow me EVERYWHERE around the house). But anyway, while the power was out, it made me appreciate all the little things in my life. It's like, once you lose something, you finally figure out how much it means to you. No, I'm not talking about air conditioning or the refrigerator. I'm talking about the computer and tv. My main concern when I walked in the door was not preserving the food that my family lives off of, it was making sure the TiVo comes back on before Amish and the City tonight so I don't miss it (ironic cuz I just remembered that the Amish don't HAVE electricity EVER). When I realized that I couldn't go watch TV, I decide that I'll go get on my computer... RIGHT, computer uses electricity TOO! MAN! What on EARTH do I do now? So I just sat down and looked through the Sharper Image catalogue (even though you have to like, donate a liver and sell your house to get anything out of it) and by the time I finished, the power came back on. Thank GOODNESS. Seriously, you don't know how scary this whole experience was for me. Luckily it was only for like, an hour.

All of that power outage stuff reminds me of Y2K. Remember that?! I mean, those Y2K people really had me freaked out. I literally thought the world was gonna just implode on new year's. After it though, I realize that it was probably just a marketing ploy for selling "Y2K Proof" products. I just remember every day the news being like, "December 31. Could this be your LAST DAY!?" and it's literally 6 days after Christmas and they're talking about the world ending. It just wasn't a very happy thing... But ya, I mean, I knew people that were all stocking up on Ozarka gallon water bottles and electric generators, but we didn't really do that. I mean, I'm pretty sure we were just gonna go drink out of our neighbor's pool or the Indian Lake Pond and then go mooch off of our friends' generators. But anyway, we never had to worry about that. But it was quite scary!

But anyway yall, if you learn anything from this, let it be to appreciate those things in life that could disappear in a snap (mainly all of your electricity powered products like TV, TiVo, Computer and the Internet).

Monday, August 23, 2004

The Fugitive

OK well, I have been approached recently about how food-related my most recent posts had been. So I decided that today I wouldn't write about food. Well, at least about me EATING food (cuz technically today's topic is still about food...). So Saturday afternoon I'm at North Park Mall getting my outfit for Showboaters and what not, and as I turn into the Abercrombie and Fitch hall of the mall, I am suddenly startled. There is like, this HUGE bear thing looking at me. As I get closer, I realize that it is not actually a bear, but a CANNED FOOD SCULPTURE of a bear... OK, that's normal, go to North Park, why shouldn't I expect to be seeing large animals made from cans of peas? Well, as I progress down the hall, I also get to see the Brooklynn Bridge, Nemo in a fishbowl, a piggy bank, a putting green, Spongebob Squarepants, and the Dallas Skyline ALL made from cans of green beans, refried beans, yams, tomato paste and all other canned food products. OK so no big deal right? NOOOOOOO. Not with Adam Rucker's luck! As I'm walking besides the giant Nemo, the janitor lady's cart knocks into my bag, causing me not only to fall, but fall INTO the 5,000 can sculpture of the beloved clownfish. GREAT! I am quickly surrounded by a group of Can Sculpture judges, and two police escorts saying they are to remove me from the building...

OK, MAYBE I didn't actually fall into the sculpture and there were no police involved, but you better believe I was afraid I would knock something over the ENTIRE time I was there (because that REALLY is my luck). I had to keep myself atleast three feet away so that I didn't even touch them or bother the judges who were carefully studying each one. And just incase you were wondering (like Amy Mac did this morning when I told her this story), all of the cans were donated to a food shelter after the contest was over and not just completely wasted.

WELL GREAT. Let me tell you about a time when I was really almost wanted by the law (kinda). A few years ago I went to the Titanic traveling exhibit with my godmother when it was at Fair Park, and it was awesome. We looked at all the recovered stuff from the ship and what not that was all in glass cases, then we went to see this HUGE piece of the hull that they pulled up from the bottom of the ocean. OK, so it was like Sunday night and NO ONE was there. So I'm standing there looking at this piece of the Titanic that's just surrounded by some flimsy ropes and signs that say DO NOT TOUCH. I'm like, OK, I'll NEVER get this chance again, so what the heck. I decide that I'm going to TOUCH the Titanic, I mean, no one can say they ever did that! (Except for the people that were actually on it or the people that pulled this piece up from the ocean, but ya, I don't know any of them, so it doesn't matter.) So I look all around to see if there were like, any guards or anything. NOPE! So I like, VERY carefully lean over the rope and quickly touch the Titanic, and move away. Gooood for me. What's funny is that, this old guy across the room from me saw me do it, and then HE looked around and carefully leaned over the rope and touched it too. (I'm such a trendsetter.) Then my godmother's like, OK, if they can both do it. I'm doing it. So she sets her purse down and looks around and all, but she took like WAY too long trying to get over the rope and all of a sudden we hear, "Ma'am back AWAY from the Titanic." Then she like, backs off acting all like she didn't mean to do that, gets her stuff, and we IMMEDIATELY walked out the door. She never got to touch the Titanic... Aww. But I did! And I know that none of yall have. Except maybe Jeremy Garrett. Someone let me know ASAP if Jeremy Garrett has touched the Titanic cuz I would love to know.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

I Adam, Take You, Enchilada...

OK yall, let's just be completely honest here. At this point, I might as well be living in a Mexican food restaurant. Seriously though, I mean, I ate it twice today, and if I would have had breakfast, that would have made it three times (cuz I would have had a breakfast burrito). But if you know me AT all, you know I seriously love the Mexi food. I mean, after all, El Chico's is the place that inspired my family's now six year tradition of weekly reunions. Then you've got your Taco Bell, Taco Cabana, and Chipotle, all of which I usually have at least once a week. Of course, there was the time that I was out getting myself dinner and I couldn't decide between Taco Cabana and Taco Bell. So what did I do? I didn't decide. I just went to both. I know, sad right? Well, I did it anyway so get over it. Yes, I went to Taco Cabana because I like their nachos, and then I went to Taco Bell for their tacos. I ALMOST went across the street to Taco Bueno because I like their Mexi Dips and Chips, but I figured that would just be TOO much. In the past year or so, me and the rest of the Famous Trio discovered Chuy's in Dallas. I had been there once before a few years back but rediscovered it last year. OH MY GOODNESS. Talk about amazing. I mean, these flour tortillas are like heaven in dough form. Top them off with a dip of fresh queso and you are SET. After a few trips there, Logan and I decided that we wanted to purchase the Mexican tortilla lady that was there and just pay her to make tortillas all the time. But of course, there was always the issue of who's house she'd get to live at and what not. It just didn't end up working out. BUT I did decide that when I get in to Oprah-size money some day and can buy anything I want to, I will get one of those tortilla machines like they have at On the Border, and that will serve as the center piece of my house. Anyway, I thought of all this because today I had El Fenix for lunch and Chipotle for dinner... I really think I am a Mexican. Except, like, an albino Mexican because WOW, have you SEEN how white I am?!

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Chicken Fried Anything = God's Gift to the World

Seriously though yall. Anything that's chicken fried is like AMAZING. I mean, you've got your chicken nuggets, chicken fingers, chicken breast, pretty much the entire menu at Chick-Fil-A. But what does "Chicken Fried" REALLY mean? Because you can chicken fry steak, but that just sounds weird to me. SO, I took the time to look up just what "Chicken Fried" REALLY meant. The American Heritage Dictionary defines "Chicken Fried" as: <ADJ: Coated with batter and seasoned flour and fried.> Now, where the chicken got involved with this at all is beyond me. As far as I'm concerned, the chicken could not exist and we'd still have chicken fried steak and such, so why do they get credit for something they had nothing to do with? I think just to be fair, it should be called "Batter Fried", cuz like, WHO wants to have chicken fried Oreos? That just sounds gross (even though they are very tasty). Something I can never accept though is fried pickles. First of all, pickles should just not exist, especially those huge ones at football games; nothing good comes from those. They smell bad, they taste bad, and you make a terrible face while you're eating them because they're so sour. I am however, interested in the fried Twinkies. I've never actually HAD a Twinkie at all, but a fried one sounds really good. But seriously, chicken fried anything, is like AMAZING. Thank God for Chick-Fil-A because WOW, I could eat there all day (but I hardly ever eat there at all because they're all so far away). I also had a recent discovery of fried amazingness which is Chicken Express in Rowlett. It is TRULY incredible. The chicken strips are MY LIFE.

BUT anyway, I wouldn't suggest eating all of the things I've talked about too much though, unless you LIKE having clogged arteries and heart attacks...

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Tuesday Night Brawl

OK, so you might think that the most violent thing you have seen in your life is like, a riot on tv or the battle scenes from The Last Samurai and The Patriot; if so, you haven't been back-to-school shopping at Wal-Mart. The school supply aisles look like a dirty bomb went off in them. I went in looking for one simple item: a folder with brads. In the process I got sideswiped by a shopping cart, tripped on a fallen box of markers, and hit in the face with a pack of jumbo kindergarten pencils (you know, the really thick ones). Trying to find something there is like looking for a needle in a haystack, and you might as well bring shin and elbow guards along with you just incase. Needless to say in all of the chaos I never found my folder with brads, although there was a wide array of folders without brads; from Hello Kitty to Donald Trump. This experience reminded me of the good ole days when mothers were trampled attempting to get the newest Cabbage Patch doll, and more recently, Tickle Me Elmo and Furbys. We actually had reporters getting PAID to bring us the latest news on where those items were available. People waited in enormous lines, took numbers, and kicked and screamed to get the talking dolls that wouldn't shut up unless you locked it in a closet with the lights off...and even then, the Furbys would sometimes start snoring. Did you know that Furbys and Tickle Me Elmos were going for like, HUNDREDS of dollars on Ebay when they were still in there little flings? Nowadays we have all kinds of Elmo dolls including the "Chicken Dance Elmo"... wow.

You know, all of this talk about valuable collectables also reminds me of a time when Beanie Babies were like, INSANE. I mean, there were people that had EVERY Beanie Baby, at my house we only had a select few of ones that we actually WANTED. I mean, some of those things were just UGLY, but they still sold for hundreds of dollars. Weirdly enough, I think the highest attendance at a Ranger Game was when they gave away free Beanie Babies to the first few thousand people. Of course, they all left and then sold them for tons of money on Ebay right after. We also had the "Teanie Beanie Babies" GENIUS! I mean for real, if people are gonna go all psycho anyway, just milk it for all it's worth. Keep in mind though, I'm not making fun of the Beanie Babies, cuz we all had at least one. Oh... those were the good ole days. GOOD ole days.

And last but not least. WHO can forget the Tamagotchi... 5th grade, I remember it very well I think every girl in my class had at least one of each, Giga-pet, Digi-pet, and Tamagotchi. ALL day we would hear, "Ashley, put up your digital baby thing!" and she would reply, "BUT IT WILL DIE IF I DON'T FEED IT." Americans should be punished for falling for this 21st century upgrade to the pet rock. I mean, the pets were NOT REAL, and yet children all over the world had bad dreams at night wondering whether or not their pet was OK or if it needed a bath. Oh goodness... Hehe. Kids are dumb...

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

The Beginning of the End

So today was the first day of school for us good ole Garlandites. Actually, it was the first day of school for like, the entire metroplex. But I noticed that like, FOX 4 news apparently has something against Garland because they listed like EVERY district in Texas that started today including like, May Pearl, but they neglected to mention Garland. ANYWAY. So today we get to school right and like, literally within 40 seconds of me walking in the door, I was told to tuck my shirt in. So I get my schedule and go to my first class, English, which apparently I have with the ENTIRE school because everyone was in there except for Deepa. This class made me happy because we turned in our journals and then immediately had a quiz on The Odyssey. Brooke also informed me that Ms. Connell talks, very, slowly... And when she did, I like DIED laughing inside, unfortunately I couldn't ACTUALLY laugh out loud. Then I went to choir which went just fine. Let me tell you though, choir made me sick. Like, literally. I don't know what it was, but like, the whole room smelled like burnt tires. IT SMELLED HORRIBLE, NASTY, RANCID. But anyway, that was just weird. Then I had Showboaters and we're goooooooooooooood. Then I had senior release, and went to Sonic and then went home. Tomorrow will no doubt be much more difficult for me, I mean, I have Economics with Dooley, Choir, and two computer classes... Now, I know you're wondering, did Adam make it through the entire day with his shirt tucked in?!?! Noooooooooope. I was very sneaky about keeping the front tucked in and keeping the back shirt tail covered by my messenger bag... OOO BAD ADAM. You know what? That goes along with the other worst thing I've ever done.

Let me tell you about my "worst thing I've ever done". One time I was going to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Carter, Molly, Bill, and Logan. Keep in mind that my parents knew I was going to see this movie the WHOLE time... So it's rated R right? And of course, they won't just let the older kids buy the ticket for me, so Logan blatantly says, "OK, We'll have 5 for Home on the Range" (the new Disney movie) and we proceed to go into the theater. So then Carter's like, "MAN, I can't believe I just spend $10 on a cartoon!" And I'm just like, "CARTER, we're not ACTUALLY gonna see Home on the Range" and it took him like, 5 minutes to realize that we were just gonna go into the other theater for Eternal Sunshine. So we "sneak" into the theater, and not kidding, Logan and I are like FREAKED out that we'll get caught for sneaking into a different movie. So like, we're imagining different scenarios where theater officials like catch us and are like WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END OF HOME ON THE RANGE? and we're just like I DONT KNOW!!! Of course, if this had actually happened to me, I would have said that the cows win because all Disney movies end happy, and it would just be sad if they killed off the cows. ANYWAY, we were never caught and nothing ever happened to us, but to this day we are still talking about how bad we are for doing that.

As I am writing this, I'm watching the Olympics, something that apparently NO ONE besides me and Whitney are doing. My sister didn't even know the Olympics were on right now until I told her... I realized that I do have an interest in the Olympics though because it is more individual sports than just team sports, I don't really like teams. I've watched some gymnastics and swimming and that's all pretty good. Whitney informed me that she's looking forward to the Handball competition. At least the Summer Olympics don't have the curling competition... I mean REALLY, when I saw curling I thought it was a JOKE, pushing a rock across some ice and like, brushing the ice really fast?! THIS IS A SPORT?! In this case, I could like, go to the Olympics for teeth brushing, I mean, I'm surprised there isn't like, a dog-walking competition if they're all worried about who pushes a stone better.

ANYWAY. I hope everyone had a good first day of school today, I ended mine by going to see Napoleon Dynamite again and then El Fenix... Gooooooood. And in the wise words of Mr. Napoleon Dynamite, "GAAAAAAAAAh, you FREAKIN IDIOT!"

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Shaping the Way We Live

These days, there are certain things that shape the way we live as Americans. Some of these things are our friends, our family, the entertainment industry, church, school, etc. But there is one thing above all that influences us the most. Think about what that thing could be... you got it? Well, if you were thinking commercials, you are absolutely correct. Commercials indeed effect everything about the way we live. They effect what we buy, how we act, how we dress. They also make us laugh, drive us crazy, confuse us, and sometimes send us to a point to where we just want to jump off a cliff rather than ever seeing that commercial again. Kudos to the people who come up with really good advertisements. Now I will tell you some of the ones I like, and the ones that I absolutely hate...

I'll begin with the ones that make me want to hit my head into a slab of concrete and the move on to good ones.

Pepto Bismol: This one wins the trophy, grandprize, best in show (or rather, WORST in show) This is not one of those annoying but standable commercials, no no, it seriously has made my parents consider sending me to the nut house because of what it does to me. They have used the idea of the Macarena with words such as "nausea, heartburn, indegestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea" accompanied by corresponding arm and hand motions. That should tell you enough, it's just wrong, the song and everything really is just... wow, too much.

Chili's: I usually don't have a problem with these commercials, but it just struck me on this one. They show Olympic medal winning gymnast Dominique Dawes on the balance beam and she's singing the "Baby Back Ribs" song. At the end it says something to the effect of, "What drives her to win?" and she finishes her routine by saying the words "barbeque sauce," implying that she was thinking of Chili's the whole time during her routine and that's why she did well. Just like, a weird concept, and WAAAAY cheesy.

Rooms to Go/Freeds Home Furnishing: OK starting with Rooms to Go (which I saw as I was writing this) It's not that it's really annoying, or bad. But they always have to have a couple connecting arms sitting on a couch, telling you about how good the values are at Rooms to Go. Are they trying to make us think that we're having a look inside these peoples' home as if all they do is sit around talking about the values they've had on their furniture. Or are they just people that are like, always in the store that act like it's their home even when it really isn't. Also the guy always seems to be the idiot in these asking questions like, "Are you kidding? No down payment until 2006? How can they do that?" then the wife looks at him like he had just asked the dumbest question in the world. And Freed's Furniture. I'm sorry, but no one goes to Freed's. It's that old ugly brown box building off of the highway. And if you notice in the commercials, it is the SAME lady that walks through the building every time which obviously means she wasn't satisfied with what she had bought before or it just fell apart on delivery. She also flips through their catalogue as if she isn't in the actual showroom and can't see the things in person...

Virgin Mobile: This applies to their radio ads rather than their TV ads. I LOVE their radio commercials. You hear two people that are talking to each other on Virgin Mobile phones, but instead of talking they're scatting and singing every word. Then this guy that's not on Virgin Mobile beeps into one of their phones and it's all staticy and you just hear this white guy that's trying to sound cool and rap/scat and he's like horrible. Then it goes back to the two Virgin Mobilers and they keep singing and make fun of him. I thought it was a very inteligent and different idea... 10 points.

Boost Mobile: WOW, they really score big with this one. It shows all these old people outside having a party at night and they're talking on the phone to each other in ebonics and stuff. It's just REALLY funny because I've heard everything they say but it's just so odd seeing/hearing it coming out of their mouths. I also like the catchphrase at the end "Where you at?"

WOW. I just wrote a lot... But yes, it's true, commercials deeply impact our lives, as they obviously have impacted mine.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Welcome to Preschool Children!!!

It has come to my attention that some of the kids that I thought were going to be in highschool at the beginning of next week must actually be going into kindergarten. Since this is the case, let me teach you something today little children. Today's lesson is called ACTING MATURE.

I don't know what some of you think, but shoepolishing cars, is no longer "cool". Actually, it never was. When someone shoepolishes a car, what you're doing besides causing the shoepolishee hours of cleaning to get it all off, is slowly ruining their paint and windows. My windows are covered in scratches and some of my paint is permanantly chipped because it is IMPOSSIBLE to remove shoepolish from a car without using some sort of abrasive material. If you have a problem or concern with me, talking to me about it will give you a much better chance of fixing things rather than painting an idiotic phrase all over my car...

So if we learn one thing today children, let's learn that acting immature and vandalizing other peoples' belongings probably isn't the best way to solve things.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Glasses: Window to Genius

Sometimes I wish I had a good pair of glasses. No need for a prescription, just glasses. I will always see someone that has a really GOOD pair of glasses on that just makes them look like they know everything. I mean, I love my great vision don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think that if I had glasses, when I put them on I'd be more willing to work. Like a worker when they put on their gloves, they didn't put them on for fun, they put them on for WORK. I think if I wore glasses sometimes I'd look/feel smarter, but with my luck, I'd probably just look like a nerd. Ehh. Anyway, not much for me to say on this one, more of just a comment.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Forget Jail, Send Martha to South!

With a new school year and a new principal, comes many new changes at South Garland High School. Sources have told me many of these new changes we should expect when we come to school this year.

* ALL shirts must be tucked in at ALL times. (That's pretty self-explanatory)

* GUM will not be allowed

* 2nd, 3rd, and 4th lunches must be walked to the lunchroom by teachers

* IDs will be required at all times although not necessarily worn at all times

Get ready folks, we're gonna have a FUN this year!!! All rules are assumed to be followed the entire year and not fizzle out like all of the other rules that we have had introduced to us in the past.

One more note: you freshmen, sophmores, and juniors out there get ready because the rumor is that next year South Garland will be a uniform-wearing school!!! woohoo.


You know what? VHS tapes are OUT, they're gone, get rid of them. Don't feel too bad if you still have them though, cuz I have a feeling DVD's won't be around as long as the ancient VHS. In this current day of Tivo-like innovations, I have a feeling movies and such will no longer be in the physical form but all digital. Tivo has announced that the new model will be able to send shows and movies to other Tivo sets via internet. This could be the new way we purchase things; buying movies through our internet-connected TVs and onto a digital hard drive. When you want things to be portable, movies can be transfered to tiny digital camera-like computer chips. I mean after all, DVD's are much smaller and less annoying than big ole video tapes, but even then there is still the risk of damaging them very easily with just a tiny scratch. It only makes sense that movies and other media should be available on little chips. ANYWAY back to VHS. Did you notice how they gently slid VHS out of our lives? It first started where a new movie would be available on "Home Video and DVD" then it became "DVD and Video" and now it has become "Own it on DVD rent it on video" It's like they're almost embarrassed to say that it's available on video tape.

Anyway, a final thought on this subject is this: It is now time to MOVE OAIN (on). If you haven't made the change yet, DO IT, it's simple and easy. The best way to completely move on and have closure is to get rid of those VHS's. You can do this a number of ways. Donate to your local GoodWill store (which I dont even know if THEY want VHS anymore), throw them in the trash, or give them to me to sell on Ebay. OK, I'm done. BYE

PS. Keep your Disney Videotapes though. They could be worth money, and not all Disney Classics are available on DVD just yet.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Home Stretch

That's right, only one week left of your summer. Did you get done what you wanted to? I pretty much did, I went to Six Flags, went to LA, avoided my summer reading as long as I possibly could, played video games, saw about 30 movies (literally), worked a children's camp, etc. I mean, I will honestly say this has been my busiest summer (which some would say that isn't saying much, but oh well). One thing that I had intended to do this summer that didn't happen was change my screen name. Yes, ajruck2000 has actually been around since the year 2000. I wanted to get that out in the open, I didn't use "2000" as some means to make it sound like I was some spaceship or something, like the AdamRucker2000 Moonlander. Nothing like that, I just made that screen name between 7th and 8th grade which happened to be 2000. Now, I must say though, my screen name although is obviously "dated", there is another person's screen name that has definetely worn out its welcome. That is the screen name of Miss Whitney Redman. Yes, originated at the time of the first Charlie's Angels movie, this screen name has definetely been around too long. I mean, throughout its lifetime we've seen a sequel to Charlie's Angels (where they ditch Bill Murray for Bernie Mac), Drew Barrymore has been married like 4 times, Cameron Diaz has hooked up with Justin Timberlake, and Lucy Lui has not really done much of anything. Maybe if we all band together, we can see a change happen in the screen name world. This gigantic task however, can not be achieved alone, everyone must help and fight for your right for decent screen names.

Oh anyway, I'm sure everyone is tired of my bickering. So for now, so long, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Grammar Lesson

OK today children, we will learn about apostrophes, specifically when they come after "s"s. I have noticed lately that a lot of people don't know the true use of them when referring to names that end with an "s". For example if I were to say that something belonged to the Collins family, I would say that it was the "Collins's". Yes, indeed there are two "s"s. Contrary to popular belief, in this case it would NOT appear, "Collins'" where the apostrophe is not followed by another "s". Now, if I were to say that something belonged to the girls, I would say that it was the "girls'". See, it's quite simple, all you have to do is say it out loud, if it sounds like there's two "s"s, then there probably are. SO here are two final examples:

The plate of spoiled rotten food was Alexis's.

That is the girls' pack of rabid dogs.

Let me also add, that I HATE it when people substitute the word "your" for the word "you're". NO they are NOT the same, they are two completely different words. "Your" refers to items that belong to you. "You're" is the combination of "you" and "are". Please, don't be SO lazy that you cannot simply add an apostrophe and an "e" to make "your", "you're". SAVE US ALL.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Day of Sadness

We have all indeed suffered a tremendous loss. Yes, that loss is Colonel Camp, well at least the seniors have lost that. Today was my last time to do Colonel Camp and it actually went very well. Cassie, me, Shayna, and Mark all went to the rooms and sang to the little children. Some of them were very lively and exciting while others were very quiet and reserved. I didn't know any of them but Shayna apparently knows EVERY freshman boy. Any way, it was fun while it lasted and Whitney did a great job running it all, WOOHOO!!!

RIP COLONEL CAMP, WE WILL MISS YOU (except for all the underclassmen that have to do it again next year)

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

The Simple Life

I have nothing to say. Why you ask? Because nothing really funny has happened to me lately. Although the thought of me having to read and do journals on The Odyssey in less than two weeks IS kinda funny, but I think we're all in the same boat there. Speaking of boats, I like them. I can't say that I enjoy canoe-type boats as much as motor boats and jet skis because it's obvious, canoes take some sort of effort. Not that I don't like to expend energy, but these days energy is so scarce that it might not be in our best interest to waste it on simply rowing across a lake when you could easily have a motor do it. Speaking of motors, horse power, where did it come from? Well, I assume that long ago in the days of horses and buggies, horses were considered the "motor" of those times. So when motors came along they based their strength on how many horses it would take to do the job. Although I don't see how that is possible, I mean, I'm sure all horses have their different strong points. And if you haven't noticed, there are many sizes of horses out there that I'm sure could not all do the same job. So calling it "horsepower" really is a lie and they know it. When I was younger I used to think that there were actually miniature horses in engines that would run around in circles producing power (much like the exhibit at the museum where you ride the bike and it makes the lightbulb light up). BUT that unfortunately is not true. I mean what was I thinking, horses in a motor? I was really dumb back then I mean it's obvious that it would be WAY too hard to get their food inside the motor.

Did I ever tell you the story about the 24 hour ATM? No, I didn't. Well, one time we were out to dinner with some friends of ours and they told us this story about their grandpa. Apparently they had gone to the ATM with him really late at night. The grandpa was like "Why are we here so late? They shouldn't be open this late." And they were like "No, grandpa it's open 24 hours so we can go whenever." And the grandpa was like, "MAN, they must get so tired being open 24 hours!"... YA, he thought that there were actually people sitting INSIDE the ATM that took the cards, and handed the money out through the little holes.

ANYWAY, enough stories for me.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Reality Rocks

OK yall, really I love almost every reality show that there is. Here are some of my current recommendations:

The Amazing Race (Tuesday 9pm CBS): Eleven teams race around the world trying to be the first to each destination. In the end the winning team wins a million dollars. Teams are made up of people with different kinds of relationships such as the Bowling Moms, Cousins, Brothers, Twins, Married, Dating and so forth. Charla and Mirna are pretty much the best part of this show and Charla is always very entertaining because she's so good. A++

Amish in the City (Wednesday UPN): This show is awesome. OK so 5 Amish people move to LA into a mansion with 6 city kids. So far all of the city kids are just completely rude to the Amish people who are completely new to this way of living. It's really weird to see people that look normal that haven't experienced half of the things that non-Amish consider normal. Gooood show.

Trading Spouses: Meet your new mommy (Tuesday FOX): Awesome show where two families' moms switch places and rule the house how they want to. Last week's was really funny just because Amila was so nice to her new family and Tammy was just rude. Anyway WATCH IT.

Other shows that I currently do not have time to talk about are The Apprentice and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Anyway, watch all of these shows. You will not be disappointed.

What is "El Chico" night you ask?

El Chico night was founded when I was in the 6th grade and is continuing on into its 7th year (if my math is right). Originally my immediate family and g-pa would go to El Chico's on wednesday nights to enjoy their awesome enchilada special. Little did we know that we would continue on this tradition EVERY single week. Eventually we added my aunt and uncle from Arlington and my g-pa's wife Norma. So for many years we continued to go to El Chico each and every wednesday night for a mini family reunion. This was a huge change since we only used to see each other on the holidays and occasionally other times throughout the year. Last year however, this tradition changed. We decided that due to church and other activities the dinner would sit better on tuesday nights. It took a while to get used to, but we're OK now. Along with the change of date came along the change of venue. Now, every week someone different gets to pick wherever we go to eat (other places include Chipotle, Spring Creek BBQ, Pei Wei, Ole Whiskers, Applebee's and many more). Never the less, it is still known as "El Chico Night" no matter where we eat.

Goo Gone is MY LIFE

OK today I would like to announce my official endorsement of Goo Gone. This product has truly saved my life. Over the past few weeks I have been shoepolished by people who are too afraid to admit who they are. Such phrases as "Tivo Stinks" and "Tivo Sucks" were written on my car at the SAME TIME. Then today I pleasantly woke up to find "Go back to Mexico. Arriba!" on my car... Anyway, forget the fact that this is completely bizarre, after this I discovered the wonder of Goo Gone. I had used Goo Gone before to get duct tape residue off of my car and was very satisfied, however I had no idea that it would also work wonders on shoe polish. I spent about 20 minutes scrubbing with water and soap to get the writing off, however that did not work. So I found my Goo Gone, gave it a spray on the window, and literally, the polish came off with the gentle wipe of a rag. I am very pleased with Goo Gone, and you will be too. GO BUY SOME!!!

Monday, August 02, 2004

La Cienega

Hollywood, California

OK so I went to LA a few weeks ago, and haven't really said much about it, so here goes. It was awesome. The first day we went to good ole Hollywood... Ya, DONT GO TO HOLLYWOOD. If you wanna see it, like, drive by in a locked car, EXTREMELY fast... no no, you dont literally have to do that, but ya, dont be disapointed because it's really ghetto. The only nice part is Hollywood and Highland, home of the now cancelled On Air with Ryan Seacrest.

Second day we went to Universal Studios which was incredibly awesome. Really, I loved it. If you go, get the FRONT OF THE LINE PASS which means you literally wait in no lines. If you dont get those passes, you'll be hating the people like me who had them the entire day, and most likely wont get to ride a lot of rides. I liked all of the rides and shows there, really you should go.

Last day we went to Santa Monica Beach all day... Ya, WEAR SUNSCREEN. I am still peeling. TWO WEEKS LATER. I should have learned from my imfamous Vail, Colorado trip to put on sunscreen all day, but ya I didn't. Anyway, that was a fun day and I'm a really good boogie boarder now. hehe

On the picture titled "La Cienega" you will find the street in LA which I found that is clearly the namesake for the character on the Proud Family named "Lacienega Boulevardez" I was very proud of myself for noticing this

My Recommended Movies

OK we're gonna start from the top.

The Village: I liked this movie. It really depends on how you see it. I went in totally expecting something different than what I saw. Don't go in expecting to be scared or you will be disappointed. Just go in looking for a good movie and you will be fine. 6th sense is better though...

Collateral: I LOVED this movie. It's awesome and definetely very freaky. You will spend the next few hours after seeing it, suspecting that you might get shot at any given moment. Make sure and go to the bathroom BEFORE the movie unlike me so the second hour doesn't seem to take a whole day. GO SEE IT THIS FRIDAY

The Princess Diaries 2: Yes, I saw it, get over it. It was also very enjoyable, very funny and amusing. If you liked the first movie, you'll probably like the second one too.

Napoleon Dynamite: WOW, just go see it. It's like, completely bizarre, and doesn't make sense a lot of the time, but it is REALLY funny. You will find yourself imitating his mannerisms and sayings after the movie. If you dont wanna see the movie, then just DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO OK!? GAAAAAAAAAAH...

Anchorman: It's an SNL movie with Will Ferrell so of course it's funny. I particularly liked the scene that literally EVERY ACTOR THAT HAS BEEN IN ANY MOVIE EVER was in.

Let's get this started

OK, so everyone was doing this "Xanga" thing, and I just thought, no, I'm not going to fall into the peer pressure of making a "Xanga" journal thing like everyone else. Also, due to my excessive watching of VH1, I noticed that the new hip thing to do was create "Blogs" so I decided I would officially be the first person I knew to create a blog, and let everyone else follow after me. So ya, feel free to copy, just know that I truly started this one...